Emotions taste like honey.

2003-09-03T00:06:00.000-07:00

Blog = abandoned. Stop e-mailing me. Post, please show up.

2003-02-05T15:11:00.000-08:00

Weird thing. Last post never showed up. Well, that explains a bit. ...posting now in the hopes that it'll trigger something and that old post from november will show up. (And, yeah, I've abandoned this blog at this point. Why are people still here?)

2003-01-25T22:35:00.000-08:00

........

2002-11-13T21:21:00.000-08:00

2002-11-13T21:20:00.000-08:00

Whoa.

Did someone just link this blog or something? Because in the past couple of weeks, I've been getting a ton of e-mails/IMs about the fantasy commune thing. Some of which seemed to have missed the point entirely.

I'm afraid I sounded too nice when I talked to a lot of you (I'm saying 'you' here because a few of you IM-ed me without leaving e-mail addresses, giving me no way to get into contact with you, but I'm going to assume you read this at least occasionally). I like hearing new ideas, and I like talking them over and thinking about them. That doesn't mean I like all of them, it doesn't mean I'll accept all of them, and it doesn't mean they'll all work. Now, here's where I sound like a bitch.

To clarify.

1. I said in the post below that this was a mix of three things: an artist's commune, a SCA-type village, and a village based off of fantasy worlds. A lot of people seem to have picked up on the first and entirely missed the other two. This is not just an artist's commune for people who like fantasy or happen to write/draw mostly fantasy-related material. If you like having electricity in every room, the place I describe below is not the place for you. We've been considering how much of the modern world we want to allow into this commune, and the general opinion seems to be 'not a whole heck of a lot.'

2. The general opinion that I mentioned above? That's not the people who've just contacted me in the past few weeks online, that's the people I've been working on with this since the beginning. The founding members, if you will. How do you get to be a founding member? Simple. You live with me. Or you're the soul-sib of someone who lives with me. Or you're the crazy SCA-dian/fantasy-loving friend of me or my family or our soul-sibs. That's it. I'm sorry, but random people I've just met over the internet canNOT get as involved in this as we are, no matter how much you'd like to. I love hearing your ideas, I love knowing that there are people who are interested, but you aren't part of the core group.

3. This isn't going to happen for a while yet, so don't go moving out of your apartments yet, folks. The people working on this? We're in college, or younger. We plan to have lives which involve travelling and/or jobs in the city before we settle down. This is a long-term plan, folks, not something that's going to happen soon.

4. This idea is constantly, constantly changing. Don't go commiting to it. That post below? That was me rambling in my blog. If I seriously wanted to start attracting future members, I would have made a website for it and started advertising it, not just babbled about it in an online journal. Hearing that people are interested is great. But I don't expect you to, nor should you, make any serious commitment to it at this point, because at this point you have no idea whether it's going to end up being what I described in the post below, or something entirely different. To give you an idea? At this point, the elves in our group (which is the majority, and I'm one of 'em) are considering just making a Rivendell-based inn in the mountains somewhere, while the SCA-types eventually build a SCA village around us. Or not, maybe it'll just be an inn. Or maybe it'll get very popular and will evolve into something like the group I described below, but the artist's commune thing is becoming less and less a part of it. That's where the plan is at the moment; next month it could be something entirely different, and we could all be living in trees for all I know (I'd like that, actually).

If I have just dashed your hopes and dreams, my apologies. If you are simply looking to live with a random group of artists, as most of you seemed to be, I suggest you look for one of the many already-established artist's communes.

For the people reading this who couldn't care less about my crazy idea--I don't update this thing anymore, haven't you noticed? Livejournal.

2002-08-23T23:48:00.000-07:00

Blogging 'cause livejournal seems to be down.

I think I'm more insane than most.

Insane in the 'obsessed' sense, not insane at the 'I bark at strangers I meet on the streets' sense.

A disclaimer first. I have this strange idea. I believe that fantasy novels, movies, etc., are in fact meant to inspire us, not just entertain us. And by 'inspire', I don't mean just to write more stories or draw pictures--although that's lovely, and gets more people inspired, nothing actually happens, except that people are entertained. Which is great. But I believe that there are more important things than entertainment. Based on the paychecks for modern careers, that's not a view held by many, but hey. I've never been one to go with the majority. Here's my wacky idea: when we see things we like in a fantasy novel, rather than saying 'gee, I wish the world was like that,' I say, 'now, how can I make my world like that?' End disclaimer.

My sisters and I are real big on ElfQuest. The wolfriders in particular. You know, we've got that whole tribe mentality thing going to begin with, and the woods and all. And we, being the wacky elf girls we are, figured, hey, wouldn't it be great to get a tribe together and just live like that? All the time?

Now, our original plan was to find a small, unoccupied island and lay claim to it. You know, like that whole Principality of Sealand thing, only not a floating fortress. Something with lots of trees, preferably. Unfortunately, most of the currently unoccupied islands seem to be mostly volcanic rock. Not really a lot of trees there, you know?

Plan B. Purchase some land right here in the USA (being as we're already citizens and all. New Zealand and Ireland were considered). It was also decided that it could be a place for travelers to stop at, free of charge as long as they cleaned up after themselves and told a story or helped out or the like--mostly travelers on their way to ren faires and the like, we're figuring, just 'cause of the way the place was designed.

Somewhere along the way, it kind of... morphed. Through several different stages: an artist's commune, a ren village (as in ren faire, only, you know, constant...), a village based off various fantasy novels (Rivendell, Solace, and K'treva Vale came to mind. In fact, I'm still referring to this place as 'Rivendell', just to have something to call it. It's a good name).

Currently, it seems to be a combo of all the above.

This is my project now--being as I seem to be the one of us who plans things all the time anyway, and I've come up with most of the changes since 'let's find an island.' ...come to think of it, I was the one who came up with the island idea, too.

Anyway. A lot of this is based off of pieces of fantasy novels and the like--but this is NOT some big fandom thing. We'd love to see fans of the various books come join us, but we want this to be a constant, thriving thing in the real world, a way of improving the real world, rather than making escapism into a way of life.

We're figuring to implement this sometime after we graduate college. Not immediately after; we'll want a few years to do our own things. Meanwhile, we're planning. And recruiting, hopefully--we'll need a lot of people to make this work. Anybody want to join up?

At the moment, the basic structure seems to be a combination of an artist's commune and a retreat. There are those who actually live there, full time, and those who are staying there temporarily.

We'll have a dormitory-style building for the visitors--small rooms, main lounge area. You're given a room free of charge, just make sure to clean up after yourself when you leave. We don't have maids here, you know. Clean up any junk if you're only there for a few days; if you're there for a few years and have painted the walls and installed your own furniture, take your furniture with you (unless you want us to lay claim to it, which we will) and re-paint the walls back to their original color, patch up any holes you've made and so on. For those who actually live in Rivendell, full time, we'll have several individual houses, sized to fit various numbers of occupants. We're rather shaky on the actual layout of these houses at the moment. (Personally, I really, really want to try for the whole Mercedes Lackey's Tayledras ekele, Dragonlance's Solace, Tolkien's Lothlorien feel... with houses in trees, rope bridges between and ladders down, a sort of pulley to raise/lower furniture and the like... however, I do not know a great deal about construction, and this would require very large, very sturdy trees. I doubt any one house built in this style would be able to hold more than two people... But this is something I really want to do, so I'm going to look into it). The current plan is, we describe the houses WE want to live in, and so do all the other founding members (not all of whom have been chosen yet. Recruiting! Yay!). Then we figure out how much it'll cost us to build them/have them built (and whether it is in fact physically possible). Make adjustments if necessary, try again. I want to get some people in construction on the commune so we don't have to do outside contracting for everything. So, we build these style houses, and a few that will be empty for any new people to move in. When it becomes necessary to build more houses to contain everyone, we repeat the process--those who are unsatisfied with their current houses describe what they want, etc.

There's housing; now food. We'll have one main lunchroom which will serve meals at regular hours, and a pantry which is open at all hours. I am really, REALLY hoping that we find a chef to be a permanent resident, or at least someone who knows a little about running a kitchen. If we DON'T find a chef--or enough staff to prepare the meals under the chef's direction, for that matter--cooking will be one of the rotating chores performed by everyone (visitor and resident alike, with a few exceptions; I'll get to that later). Serving the meals and cleaning up afterward will definitely be part of the rotating chores. Unlike the lunchroom, the pantry will have no staff; it's available to everyone so you can grab a snack at midnight, or prepare your own meal if you don't like what's being served in the lunchroom that day. We encourage everyone to eat in the lunchroom for main meals as often as possible--this IS supposed to be a community, you know, talking to and knowing and being friendly with your neighbors--but we'll get over it if you decide to eat in your own room, or wherever. ~_^

Chores. These will be on a rotating schedule--everyone will do a bit of everything, but tell us what you're best at; if you're more likely to blow up the kitchen than make toast, you will NOT be spending a lot of time as kitchen staff. Chores include serving meals, cleaning up after meals, cleaning the 'common' buildings/rooms (those that owned by any one person), going into the nearest town to buy and sell for the community, and working in the gardens. Other chores to be added as necessary. Those who have taken on other jobs in the community will be exempt from chores, to greater or lesser degrees--for example, if anyone volunteers to be the full-time cook, or librarian, or a teacher.

On that 'teacher' note--we do want a second generation to grow up in Rivendell, but whether they're homeschooled there or sent into the nearest town for classes is up to the parents. But we DO plan to hold regular classes/workshops, if possible. The nature of this community implies we'll gather a lot of people with unusual skills, and we want those to be shared. Fencing, martial arts, painting techniques, costuming techniques, how to play the harp, how to juggle, fluency in Quenya... anything you can think of. If you think you want to teach a workshop, just volunteer, and we'll see how many people are interested. You won't be required to do as many chores during the time you teach.

I mentioned a librarian, too. Well, there IS a reason I'm still calling this place Rivendell, you know. Like Tolkien's Rivendell, we want the community to be a place of learning as well as art and friendship. Hence the workshops, and hence the library. This will probably start out small, composed mostly of donations from members of the community, but we want to increase it as much as possible. Anyone volunteering to act as librarian will, of course, have their chores decreased accordingly--no chores, if it's full-time. If no one volunteers, then helping out in the library will become one of the rotating chores on the schedule.

We're figuring on having a fairly large section of Rivendell dedicated to gardens (vegetable, herb, and otherwise), this being a main source of income for the community. We'll have a produce stand--currently unsure as to whether this will be based in the nearest town, or in front of the community itself--and sell flowers as well. Anything else the residents create can be sold here as well (like a craft fair).

Anything that the community can't create on its own will have to be bought. We will need a certain amount of money to keep this community running. We're really, really hoping to get donations from visitors, but we're not going to rely on that. So. Permanent residents are generally expected to have some sort of job. We don't care if it's a steady job or not. This is partially intended to be a home for artists. Writers, get your writing published; photographers, open up a gallery. A certain percentage (undetermined at the moment; we are still working out a lot of the details!) of your income will go towards keeping the community running. It's just the same as if you were living alone--a certain percentage of your income would go toward paying the mortgage and buying food. It'll be exactly the same way here. Any permanent resident without any sort of a job will take on more chores accordingly, and generally make themselves useful. A full-time cook or librarian would be in this category--rather like, in exchange for their services they recieve room and board; they're not expected to have another full-time job outside of the community as well. The money for the community will be used to pay for the land we're living on, build new houses when necessary, and pay for any supplies we need. It will be handled by... hmm. Not really a name, yet. Let's call it the tribal elders. At the moment, that means the founding members; basically, the members of the community who've lived there the longest.

It's expected that the 'tribal elders' will act as mediators and make the majority of any major final decisions, if necessary; mostly, the commune will all work together, but the elders have seniority and will settle any disputes that involve the community.

...mmm. I'm getting sleepy; it's taken a while to write this all out.

I'm still considering whether or not we should get our own generator or not; need to check into that. I want our use of electricity to be fairly limited. There might be a rule against keeping computers in private rooms. This is a community, we want to promote community here, that means being around other people. People tend to get sucked into computers, for some reason. I want to discourage electronics as a major form of entertainment. We want to have storytelling and the like; people being around people. So, we'll have computers available in the library, and... a sort of writing center. Still haven't decided whether this will be one large room with many computers in it, or several small (dormitory style again?) rooms with a computer in each room. If it's one main room, it'll have to be quiet so writers don't get distracted--but that doesn't always work. From personal experience, I like to write with music, and I can't wear headphones; I'm deaf in one ear, and headphones have the most irritating habit of switching which side they play on. In the individual-compartment style writing center, we'd let writers do whatever they wanted to get inspired; play music, bring a pillow, put pictures up on the walls, whatever. If necessary, we could even let writers keep whatever stuff they need to get inspired there, in cabinets in the front room. These computers will have internet access, of course, and anyone who wants to use a computer for any reason is welcome to do so in either the writing center or the library, whether or not they're doing writing or research. My feelings on TV are similar to computers; we'll probably have several lounge-type areas where TVs are set up, rather than encouraging people to bring them into their own rooms.

What else, what else... oh, right, I want to create a hot springs, if possible. ^.^ Tayledras-inspired. And I want to hold a mid-winter festival and a mid-summer festival, with songs and stories and games and feasting and dancing--more so than usual, I mean. Because stories and dancing should be the usual. I want us to do a lot of things just for fun, because this is an artist's commune/ren village/fantasy-novel-based retreat type place; what's the point if we're going to be practical all the time? I expect to see people walking around in garb and playing lutes in the garden and speaking Sindarin and painting murals on the walls and wearing faerie wings and pointed ears and doing whatever it is that they want to do, because this is just that sort of place! That's why we're making it! I want fantasy fanatics, starving artists, otherkin, nature enthusiasts, SCA-dians, roleplayers... all the unusual people who've looked at a place like Tolkien's Rivendell or Mercedes Lackey's k'treva Vale and thought, 'man, I want to live THERE!'

Ahem. Back to the practical side of things for one last moment... location. We're thinking Vermont, right now, although I'd rather it be somewhere warmer in winter. Still, Vermont is great; much trees and mountains. If possible, I want to have a few different locations; feel free to suggest one! The primary location, though, must, must, MUST have many, many trees! We want to be a village in the middle of a forest. Because... that just feels right. And being the crazy people we are, we do what just feels right.

Now. To get back to the original point of this.

This community won't exist for a while yet, but we're working on it, and it WILL exist in some shape or form, even if we don't come up with the numbers to make it the way I described. It'll probably start out as whatever crazy fantasy-loving artist-type people we gather during our college years, living together in a big house. The major project I described will take years--decades, more likely, if that--to create. But I WILL do my best to make it real. And it was inspired by people like Wendy and Richard Pini, Mercedes Lackey, J.R.R. Tolkien, Robert Jordan, and all the other fantastic authors and otherwise creative people out there. Because I think, if they went to all the trouble of creating these worlds that we love so much, the least we can do is bring a little of their worlds here, in our world. No one else seems to take things like that so seriously. I think I'm crazier than most.

I like this kind of crazy. Crazy people can change the world. And doesn't everyone want to change the world?

2002-08-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

CAGE: Will return eventually. I promise. I've got a few pages done and not scanned yet, and pictures for the gallery, and so on, but life has been WAY too hectic lately. I'll probably go back to semi-regular updates once I've settled in at my dorm (I'm moving in on Saturday. I've got THREE roommates, one from New Jersey, one from Spain, and one from Hong Kong, which makes me the local girl. I am going to FAIL my duties as tour guide. And, you know, my duties as a semi-sociable human being, too...).

Fics: Also suffered the Great Creative Block. Not writer's block. Creative Block. I couldn't do anything. It was awful. But since I last posted here there's been an update to A Moment's Peace and... um... something else... Starfall, I think. I don't remember. Go check ff.net. Link's over there on the side, in case you haven't noticed yet.

Vids: I've done one about Subaru, Sei-chan and Hokuto (TB and X), called Haunted, to the Poe song by the same name. It may or may not be at Yaoi-con, being as the vid's on the computer at the lakehouse and I'm at my mother's house and I'll be going to the lakehouse tomorrow but... when's the deadline again? And yes. The Angelfire page is down. I'm aware of this. This means, no matter what videos I make, there won't be any updates to the page, except to announce a vid going up on Kazaa. I am currently working on two fun YYH vids and one Escaflowne movie vid. The only problem is, I can't get ONE of the three video editing programs on my new computer to work. And that's the one I'm taking to college with me. So, not likely to be real productive on the video-editing thing for a while.

Pics: I have a gazillion random doodles, and none of them are going up on Elfwood yet. 'Cause I don't want to deal with the old computer, and the lakehouse computer isn't hooked up to the scanner yet, and my image editing software on the new computer sucks anyway (actually, it's very advanced. That's why I hate it).

2002-07-18T09:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I haven't posted in a while. There's a reason for this. Number one, I've gotten a livejournal. Woo! Ability to use strange avatars and leave comments! Not that anyone's actually commmenting in mine, and I haven't made an avatar yet, but whatever. Anyway, I'm using that one for my random rambling and quiz-taking, since it's easier to update (you don't have to log into the webpage. Coolness). But I'm keeping this one for updates on the creative front, when my fics or pics or CAGE or music videos get updated.

So why nothing in a month? 'Cause I haven't updated any of these in a month. I'm sorry folks, I'm just in a major creative slump here. I am drawing, and even writing a little, but it's nothing worth putting online, not yet. I think most of my creative energies are being sucked up by my cosplay. ...that's a lie. I'm just in a slump. Actually, I have a theory on why, and I ranted about in in my lj a while ago, so I won't repeat myself.

Hey, if there's any CAGE fan reading this... I know I haven't updated the comic in ages, but if you spot me at Shoujocon or Otakon (I'm the college freshman-aged girl in the Subaru or Souma costume at Shoujocon, or the Touya, Trowa, or Tamahome costume at Otakon, walking around with a group of 3 younger girls), I'll draw you a picture of whichever one of my characters you want, okay? Despite the art slump. *is secure in the knowledge that no one will read this/recognize her anyway.*

2002-06-25T19:58:00.000-07:00

"I don't have any problems with humans. I have problems with idiots, most of the idiots I know are human because most of the people I know are human. I try not to confuse the two."

Squeal, glomp, huggle, insert-more-happy-sounding-words-here. Someone who GETS it! Yes! ^_^

Well, I'm back, obviously. Back as in I-have-internet-connection. And, amazingly enough, a scanner. Woo! What I don't have on me is my password into Keen, which I keep on forgetting to change to something memorizable. *bashes head into desk*

I'll update CAGE... sometime. Really. I promise.

I've got another fic idea. I don't feel like working on any of the old ones, and haven't for a while, but I've got an idea for an angsty 1x2x1 songfic. Leaving the lyrics out, though, because I think typing them in would just get in the way in this case. Here's my problem, though. I generally write stories all in one sitting, and then immediately send them out to someone who'll read them. This means mailing lists, creative writing classes, ff.net... something. But I'm not on any GW mls, and ff.net is down. So, in typical Kiti fashion, I find myself putting the fic off, even though I have nothing better to do at the moment and I really do want to write. Damnit. Bad Kiti. Bad, bad Kiti. Do something productive, damnit!

I have done absolutely nothing of any real productivity in the past three days. Don't get me wrong, the past few weeks were absolutely full of activity and I needed a break. But this is unusual for me. And I'm not really motivated to go do something (self-motivation not exactly my strongpoint. Inspiration, yes. Inclination to get off my lazy butt and make the ideas into something solid, no). I need deadlines. Damnit.

Something I do have a deadline for, though--Otakon and Shoujocon. Cosplays. Woo. Yep, my little group will be back at Otakon this year, and hitting Shoujocon for the first time. No one remembers us from Otakon, I'm sure, except maybe that wonderful YYH group--hi! *waves* If you're in the New England area you might remember us, though. We're the psychos that actually cosplayed at those last two tiny conventions. What was up with BAAF? >.< We're the group with the little kid who everyone says is cute. She may have bitten you if you said that to her face. Yeah, that group.

Oh, and we always love running into people cosplaying the same series (or even characters) we are. So, if anyone cares, here's the much-revised list of our cosplays for this summer:

RG Veda--No, you haven't heard of it. Don't bother trying to figure it out.
Random Clamp Characters--I'm Subaru! TB version! I love that outfit! =^.^=
YYH--Jin, Touya, and other semi-minor characters from that tournament
FY--THTC, with plushie versions of our characters. ^.^
GW--yes, a million other people will be doing this too. No, we don't care.

...*thinking* Four of the five are crossplays for me... And I wanted to start doing more female outfits... ;_; Ah, well. Subaru's outfit is wicked cool, so it's all okay.

I'm debating throwing together one of Kurai's more normal-looking outfits, too. Seeing as I actually have her hairstyle (hair mostly short, but with one long ponytail). But I probably won't, unless some AS cosplayers e-mail me looking for a Kurai. Which is not likely, seeing as I'm not exactly active in online cosplaying circles. Whatever. Maybe next year. Or something. The next con after these is Yaoi-con, which I am definitely going to--if I can find someone to room with. *crosses fingers* There's actually an anime club around here that I've been trying to get in touch with for ages. I met the girl who runs it, she's a complete yaoi freak, and by all acounts most of the club is, too. *smirk* It seems that I might actually be in town for this week's meeting, maybe I'll see if I can stop by and find some new victi--I mean, friends. ^.^

In other words... I have recently become addicted to neopets.com. *hangs head in shame* You see what free time does to me? Someone demand a fic, damnit!

2002-06-19T09:19:00.000-07:00

Gonna be away from the comp for a while. Should get back sometime Friday. Which--since I can't get to the scanner right now--this week's CAGE update will be on Friday at the earliest. >.< Sorry, but I just haven't been at home long enough to update anything!

You know, I've been home for one full day since vacation started. One. The heck? Most of the places I've been at the rest of the time have at least had internet access, though. Well, this place will too, but I probably won't be able to use it.

Here. Entertain yourselves while I'm gone. Reminds me of these guys, but without the sex and drugs. Well... less sex and drugs, anyway.

2002-06-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

Woo! Pow-pow, SMIRK, Yuusuke-saMA! *swoons*

Heh. Watched the... um... third-from-last episode of YYH today. Heh-heh. *smirks and flips a V-sign* I'm in a... yeah. Mood. Not my fault if I'm incoherent.

See, this is what I love about YYH. I love it as much as I love FY, I think, except that YYH is Xeen's series, but we all watch it, 'cause, well, it's YYH. Duh. But, with FY, when we're into it, we just sit perfectly still on the couch and don't move throuout the episode, 'cause that's how into it we are. Don't move, don't distract. In YYH, I'm moving with every punch, and when Youmi went woosh-twirl-twirl-slam I was like "Huh?!" the same as everyone else in the stadium, (else? I was in the stadium? ...sure, okay, yeah! Yeah, I was! Heh...) with the eyebrows in a V and the jaw hanging open. Same look Yuusuke had. And he was Yuusuke-SAMA in this episode, people! Most of the time he's just Yuusuke-the-guy-I-love-and-want-to-go-have-a-couple-beers-with but this time he was Yuusuke-son-of-Raizen-Lord-of-the-Makai-get-out-of-the-way-before-he-kicks-your-ever-lovin'-ASS, people! Hoo! Well, for the first half, then there was Raizen-sama *swoon!* and Keiko and "You have MY blood, you're NOT gonna lose!" and then he was back to let's-kick-some-butt-and-then-go-party!-or-heck-the-butt-kicking-IS-the-party-we-have-enough-fun-doing-it!-Yuusuke. *squeal* And then, smirk! Yuusuke smirk! Youmi smirk! Pow-pow, pow-pow! Awww... *swoons* So sweet!

^_^

It occured to me, while watching, that most people do NOT have these kinds of reactions to fighting shows. If you're not a YYH fan, you'd probably assume that Youmi's woosh-twirl-twirl-SPLAT thing was a GOOD. "He's the bad guy, right? Yuusuke won, right?" Whereas I screamed, during the commercial break, "What the heck is Youmi DOING?!" And, when fighting resumed, jumped up and went "WOO!" at the top of my lungs, 'cause, it's a Yuusuke-fight, damnit! And, and, and... Raizen-sama! *swoon* ^_^

Apparently, based on Xeen's not-so-subtle hints, Kurama will do something cool in the next episode. Yay. Kurama's my favorite bishounen in YYH. What, you couldn't tell? He is! Kurama's my favorite bishounen, Raizen-sama is my lord who I am devoted to beyond all belief, and Yuusuke is my... guy... who I want to spar with and party with and hang out with and... stuff... and stuff and junk and stuff... yeah. But I tend to enjoy Yuusuke fights more than Kurama fights just 'cause, um... they're actual fights? Kurama's fights are like chess tournaments and stuff. Still enjoyable, but on a mental level more than a... whatever level I like Yuusuke-fights on. I really do love Kurama, though. It's just that I'm more vocal about Yuusuke and Raizen-sama. Especially Yuusuke lately, since he's now the heir to my lord's kingdom and all.

YYH! Woo! Meaning-in-fighting! That cannot possibly be explained to a non-YYH fan! Woo!

I keep forgetting why I watch this show. Then I watch an episode. And this happens. ^_^

Oh, and, father's day today. Yay. Gave him a chair. Went to a restaurant and he didn't have to pay. Woo. Happy father's day, all!

Pow-pow, smirk! *swoon*

2002-06-08T19:36:00.000-07:00

Still bored.

Went driving. Didn't really go anywhere. Considered going to that party, but didn't, on account of I Hate People. Came back. Caught the second half of an old Barbara Streisand movie. And I don't watch Barbara Streisand movies. Am I spelling her name right? Was told that I pick up the accents of people I'm watching on TV. WTF? E-mailed the people I should have e-mailed two weeks ago. Decided not to update CAGE; no one's going to check until Monday, anyway. Page will be up Monday.

Still not tired. Still have a headache. Still bored.

Evidently, Mina Lightstar named a character in one of her fics after Xenia. ...help me out here, I haven't read all her fics. Anyone noticed a Xenia? Or similar sounding name?

You can only read so many fics before they start sounding the same. I'm not even in the mood to read ALHR right now... Hate being bored. It's probably wanderlust. I usually get bored when I've got wanderlust. I haven't left the state since...

...

...Okay, I can't remember, which means it's been too long. Of course, I can't remember what I had for breakfast, either. Did I eat breakfast today...? I left the state on some vacation, anyway... and I saw Escaflowne in the next state over, but the border's so close it might as well be the same state... I should wander. Except I kind of have to work this week. This bites.

Bored enough to debate playing the Sims. Grr.

2002-06-08T14:02:00.000-07:00

Waaaah.... I'm so bored... @_@ Hate this...

Mmmm, what to do, what to do... The computer screen's giving me a headache. I hate it when that happens. Did you know that too much coffee can give you a migraine if you're not used to it? (Wish someone had told me that in advance...) And apparently I say 'migraine' weird, because everyone thinks I'm saying 'my grain' and gets all confused. Weird. It should be obvious what I mean by context, shouldn't it? I should be writing e-mails to... um... *counting* ...three different people right now, and I should probably work on some fics too, but... bleagh. Computers and thinking don't really mix right now. (So why am I blogging? 'Cause there's no thought involved, of course!) I could upload the next CAGE page (there wasn't an update this week! I'm sorry!). I finally found my sketchbook again, so I can get back to work on CAGE! But now that I can work on it, I'm in another art slump (doesn't it always happen that way? >.< ).

And I'm not tired, either (normally I go to sleep when I'm bored). Wah...

Migraines bite, you know that?

I watched TV for a little while. Gargoyles was on! I remember that show! It had Macbeth in it. And Puck. Except he was human in this episode. And Xanatos! I like Xanatos, he's rich and self-centered (not in an annoying way, just like he doesn't even think about it, he's so used to it) and plays with funky science experiments and is seen as evil but doesn't actually consider himself of terms of good and evil and... stuff. Yeah. I like that type. (Cough cough Lex cough cough.) And he saved Owen. It made me squeal like a happy fangirl. It's so much fun when the I-am-not-evil-I'm-just-not-good-either types go around saving people. I like Puck better than Owen, though.

Argh, migraine BAD. I've discovered that dark quiet corners are Good Things. But the 'quiet' part is kind of hard to find... I got invited to a party today. But I don't think I'll go. Even though I'm bored. It's a party thrown by someone who doesn't suck as much as most people do, though... but there is that whole I-hate-people thing. Even the ones that don't suck quite so much.

You know, I made an odd discovery recently. I say 'I hate people' so much, I just assumed everyone realized that meant I hate people. But no. Apparently they thought I meant 'I hate people who aren't me, and aren't my family, and aren't my friends, and don't work with me, and... you know. Those people. Out there. Somewhere. That I'll never have to talk to for more than a minute at a time.' This is wrong. When I say 'I hate people,' I mean everybody. Including you, reading this, right now. I hate you. I hate me too. I hate that people exist. It's a very stupid thing to do. Unfortunately, I'm not suicidal. I just think that sentient existence sucks in general.

Did I depress you? Sorry! It's really not something I consider depressing anymore, I just think that way... Um. I think I should shut up now. Except then I'd be bored again... but I already am... but at least my fingers are moving right now, that's something to do. Wahh, boredom sucks!

2002-05-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

Okay. I haven't updated CAGE. Just realized that. Not my fault. Have a guest page. Supposedly. Have seen it. Looks good. Haven't received the file yet. Will go up soon. Promise. Go read some Smallville slash. Now.

2002-05-28T21:10:00.000-07:00

Distracting self from annoying Charles Dickens writing assignment by reading random Smallville smut and dear. Fucking. Gods. Why'd I stop reading this fandom again? Bad Kiti. Bad, bad Kiti.

Jenn. Should be. Bottled. And Wendi. And Te, of course, wonderful wonderful Te, but right now I'm focusing on the Jenn 'cause I just read Fetish and whooooooooo. Good fic. Very, very good fic, and coherent thought very far away, so, yeah, writing assignment going on hold for a while now, and hooooooo. I want to make another SV music video. Aside from that Clark/Lana/Whitney and the Lex-Lionel thing. CLex. Requests? Anybody? I'm thinking something to Garbage. Or The Start, there's a song by The Start I've been thinking about using. Wish these writers would start making requests, though, even though I've learned that taking requests is a BAD IDEA, but I should make an exception for SV writers, 'cause they're just so GOOOD, and they deserve... something. Yes. I should send feedback. That would be a good thing to do. Yes. Mmm. Remember what I was saying about the coherent thought and the not happening?

Damn. Okay, successfully managed to put off that writing assignment for an hour or so...

2002-05-26T21:53:00.000-07:00

Smallville.

Yes. Dear gods, yes.

Buffy.

The entire season has now been redeemed.

And nothing more really needs to be said about that. But me being me, I'll say it anyway. Look out, spoilers below, although if you haven't seen the finale for either show by this time I shall have to whap you repeatedly about the head with a nice heavy stick with a nail in it.

Buffy? Giles is BACK. And more importantly, he LAUGHED about the season's oddities. As far as I'm concerned, this is Joss's way of saying, yeah, I know everything went screwy. Don't worry, Daddy's back, I'll make it all better. And I loved Willow, because I just love getting into the heads of fucked up characters, and this was Willow at her most fucked up. She's making the same mistake so many other people have made. She thinks power makes all the problems go away. It doesn't. It just brings different problems. Power does not matter in any way that counts, and this was completely driven home by the fact that it was Xander--the one and only completely powerless character on the show--who finally stopped her.

Next season? Spike with a soul. I am oh so very worried about this. I'm a fan of the Big Bad, personally. Now, I liked William in that one episode we got to see him, but I do NOT want to see Spike turn back into William. William was a wuss. Spike is not. I suppose he can maybe be a little remorseful about the killing, and I'm wincing as I write that, but if they attempt to turn my Spike into a wuss I will have to hurt people. He doesn't have to turn into William necessarily. Look at pre-Darla-Angel and Angel-with-soul; we're talking major changes, here. So this could be interesting. If Joss starts paying attention again, that is. More importantly, Willow had better have some SERIOUS consequences next season. If all is forgiven, I will go quite insane. Willow was not under any sort of mind control, she was not under any kind of spell, this was just her own sheer lust for power and revenge. And okay, yeah, addiction, but it's an addiction to POWER which is significantly different from an addiction to any sort of drug. See the power mini-rant above.

And Smallville. Dear gods, Smallville. Damn. I didn't think they could write like this. How could they DO that? And they expect me to just wait four MONTHS? C'mon! Even Farscape doesn't have THAT huge of a cliffhanger between seasons, and they're only between seasons for a month at a time! This is cruel! Our main character just ran into a tornado, people! Not high winds, not a storm, but the actual FUNNEL of a TORNADO. And okay, yeah, invulnerable and all, but that doesn't mean he's going to miraculously be able to BREATHE in there. Wait, does Superman need to breathe? I seem to remember random movie posters of him flying around in outer space... Damn, I wish I'd payed more attention to those movies. Hmm. Well, regardless, I am fairly sure that Clark Kent DOES still need to breathe, and I am most definitely sure that Lana Lang does. And we all know she's not dying, but DAMNIT! That's a cliffhanger nonetheless!

More importantly. Clark left Chloe at the dance to go save Lana. Admittedly, she was in desperate need of saving. But. *whaps Clark repeatedly about the head with a big heavy stick with a green glowing nail in it*

Whitney. Just when they got me to like him. I'm fully into Whitney/Lana now, tearing up in a few scenes here, and I'm not used to het shipping. Hmm. And he ASKED CLARK TO PROTECT HER. Arthur to Lancelot. Damn, I loved that scene.

Jonathan running into a tornado. You grew up in Kansas, pal. You know better than this. Let the reporter go. It's not like Lex isn't going to kill the guy anyway. (Speaking of which, the LuthorCorp website is fun lately. Reading the e-mails between Lex and Roger is amusing. Downloaded the clip of Porsche-into-Clark and watched it and paused it where Lex pauses it; yes, I am pathetically easily amused. Loved Gabe's e-mail--love the involvement of history in this show in general, actually, and who was it that pointed out the Lionel/HenryVIII, Lex/Elizabeth comparison? Genius.)

And Lex. Wow. With the blood over half the face (which is a weird kink with me anyway, but I'm loving the symbolism too) and the thunder and when Lionel swings open the doors and Lex tearing up the room and "You're not my enemy, you're my son!" as if Lex's behavior is a shock and "Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!" and holy crap Julius Ceaser, prophetic much? And the window shattering and will he save him or not? Personally, I'm hoping for yes, because otherwise, wow, slipping too far too quick, and besides which, it'd deprive hundreds of minions of their long awaited chance to deliver several much-needed very thorough ass-kickings.

But other people have gone over that scene more times than I can count, and far more eloquently than I could ever state. I have just one more thing to say about this episode:

Clark wore a tuxedo, stood beside Lex, and said "I do."

2002-05-20T13:16:00.000-07:00

To clear up any confusion, I am not pissed at the person who made that CB vid. I'm just pissed off that we came up with the same idea. It's the circumstances, not the person, you get it?

...although I AM annoyed at said person for finishing the video with the words "I am so sick of this song."

Anyway. While we're on the subject of music videos... ever been to http://www.bonibaru.com/? I'd never been there till I got an e-mail from the webmistress--she liked my Slashville video. Feedback, yay! So I checked out her site. She had a nice detailed review of my video on her blog. Detailed review, yay! And then I checked out HER music videos. (And fic recs. And went into a happy place for a while. If you watch Buffy/Angel/Smallville/all of the above, seriously, check out this page.) And they were good. I don't see a lot of good non-amv fanvids out there, but hers are good. Particularly Hey Pretty and The Different--but then, good songs, so I'm biased. But, good. (Which made me feel even better about getting a nice detailed review from her. Have I mentioned that I'm a feedback-whore? 'Cause I am.)

On a side note, I've discovered that it's nearly impossible to eliminate all conversation scenes from non-amv fanvids (there has GOT to be a shorter name for these). In anime, the scene tends to cut to the person being spoken too, shows us their expression--in live action shows, the cameraman almost ALWAYS focuses on the person doing the talking. Annoying as all hell when trying to put a video together. I've settled for just eliminating most of the talking, and trying to make sure the mouth movements seem to flow with the music, lip synching as much as possible. Throwing in some subtitles might help, too.

Cancelled that Fatherly Love video for Lionel, or at least put in on hold. I'm working on another Lex POV vid now. Dark, but more in an almost masochistic way than an Evil!Lex way. Really not an attitude I see in him during the show, at least not much. I think I've seen it in a fic or two. It's working surprisingly well. Should be able to upload it soon.

That reminds me... I really ought to update that side bar.

2002-05-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

Pissed Off!Kiti.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Someone made a Cowboy Bebop video. To Nickelback's "How you remind me." Like I was working on, you know? And it's their first video. I figured, okay, well, if it's crap, and random action, I'll just go ahead and finish mine anyway... But they did it well. Not great, not outstanding, but well. And even worse? It's about the Spike/Julia/Vicious thing. Which is what mine is about. Fuck, fuck, fuck... And since there IS a limited number of scenes of these guys to work with, well... My scenes are in a different order, but it might as well be the same video. Fuck.

Not much point in finishing it now. Fuck. I really wanted to do a Bebop vid too, and that was my only one I had planned... fuck, fuck fuck.

2002-05-17T12:26:00.000-07:00

Oooh. Nifty.

Snippets from poems I liked

About this page:
"Emotions taste like a single thing
for deleting those people who wanted
to why. is THIS there? are the
world to channel four. Somehow, the just
a demon, and miss
the song came on..."
"If I have no reaction one within..."
"for some sort of Gold"
"still wanted to the
things to why.
is the best plan right"
"May very well
you still get a name ... Kiti Katt"
"walking home Three Can
go to
play on her get rid of the
best
plan right words to fight "
"I always knew
the entire human race."
"but never find just confused and
suffering and run program
again...to go. to
simply fade take
everything with absolutely nowhere to tell"
"what going to end war, a tendency
not only will excercise I in
the internet, or go to
go."

About some of my fics (divided by series, guess which is which. ~_^):

"I
might have even
if I could never
saw what I have tried
were a trace of life, the things
only thing that
I was a
taste of me"
"and then I was me, programmed so close
to go to do "
"he muttered something vaguely
resembling
a whisper, a
hero, I was
we talked. Kissed. "
"Now. He was beyond that.
a Fire"
"Just
a reason why, should you just
tell yourself the shape of what
harm is a simple
dream?"
"Just another mindless robots slept. Inhuman bastard!
think I still almost believed you"

"sorry I... I like the arm wrapped around me"
"he
stood there for
the floor, shattering into
pieces. not
really sure he
caught sight of us."
"we can talk
down the meaning of
things"

"I deal of true
friends. "

"I do dream, of the distance, I
seen that
gentleness. in your head. "
"just as I fell
asleep in the Farplane?
if I sure but you
You started sharing your pain "
"So strong, She will
be able
to smile like
me."
"I sure people they should
be seen
by ruins."
"I think about.
it, too. All not really there"
"in a second I think everyone
else thought I was a river of
pyreflies lighting it too."

2002-05-10T22:49:00.000-07:00

I am 27% evil.
Take the test :: koolplace.com

Not evil AGAIN! SEE? TAKE THAT, CRAZY PEOPLE WHAT THINK I'M EVIL! YEAH! I'M GOING TO HEAVEN! ...or I would be, if I wasn't pagan and all that, but... you know... NOT EVIL! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

...wait, does this mean I have to stop with the evil laughter?

2002-05-10T22:37:00.000-07:00

Whoa.

Staind-SV-Lionel.

Completely wasn't expecting that.

Been wanting to use that song for something, but then I was reading this interview, a part about Lionel, and the song came on, and... whoa. Hmm. Do I really want to take it that way? But I've already got the vid working itself out in my head--heavy use of Club Zero on the bass... Hmm. This could work.

On a side note... HA! I'm NOT evil! HA! -14%! And I wasn't in denial, either, I was actually honest on all the questions! Ha! Beat THAT!

"You are the perfect being. Any psychotic tendencies you may possess are neatly balanced by you desire to help others and your devotion to the lord above. Well you could be an excellent human being, but you're most likely in denial. Try the test again, and try to tell the truth this time. If you still get a score of 0 then you may very well be the savior of the entire human race."

Better start calling me Messiah, then... ^_^

2002-05-08T12:47:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of a book called Yarrow? Freakiest thing ever. Cat is me. Well, I'm more of a bitch. And I don't think of myself as shy, and neither do my friends, although everyone else does. But her physical description and the things that happen to her. Cat is me.

2002-05-06T17:42:00.000-07:00

Oh, yeah. More things to piss me off. Going to fail that AP Calculus exam tomorrow. Badly. Why am I in that class? I haven't understood a single thing we've done all year... Actually, I kind of get some of it when I get a chance to look on it on my own, on the internet, or using any resources other than the teacher and the notes he gives us. Hmm. Think that says something about his teaching methods? Not that I'm blaming the teacher for my failing, of course. Just a random thought.

Anyway. After the exam, I don't have to go to classes, 'cause it's exam day and I'm in an AP class so, yay, lucky me. Except not so much. First off, exam ends at 12. Bus arrives at 2. I do not currently have a parking pass, so I'm stuck taking the bus. That's a two hour wait. Joy. So what do I do in between? I could go to class out of boredom, except: 1. Shyeah, right, and 2. I don't have classes after noon. I have lunch, study, study, and Calculus. I could maybe go to study and confuse the heck out of my teachers and the staff down at the attendance office, and then get called down the the attendance office to explain something that's perfectly obvious, but I really don't feel like dealing with that crap. And for the last period, not only will there not be anyone else in the class, there won't be a teacher. I have absolutely nowhere to go. So, I could sit around outside, like I'm out on privs. Except I don't actually have privs (bad Kiti, getting privs suspended). But it's not like I don't skip lunch to go out on privs anyway. So that could work. Except that it's supposed to rain tomorrow. Aside from the minor discomfort of being in the rain/sitting on wet grass, when it rains, privs get cancelled. A lone person out on privs when there are no privs is a little suspicious. So. I could try walking home. Three miles, along the highway. With a backpack. Fun. The three miles I don't mind so much. The backpack and the highway... plus, there's the whole rain thing again. I like walking in the rain--by choice. When it's the only option, I might get a little annoyed. Final option, walk a few blocks down to the town library and read for a while. This is looking like the best plan right now, actually. Except that, me being me, I will probably lose track of time and miss the bus, and get stuck walking home after all. Damnit.

Yeah, so. Life's gonna suck tomorrow. Damnit, I want my car. And a parking pass. Public transportation sucks monkeys.

2002-05-06T17:03:00.000-07:00

Argh. Mini-rant! This is stupid and minor, but it's irritating me, so I rant. VIDEO EDITING PROGRAMS SUCK MONKEYS.

First of, I started out helping XENIA fix the equipment, 'cause she's the one who wanted to work on a vid but I'm the mechanic.

Problem number one. The VCR sends signals to the computer; the DVD player doesn't. Solution: switch the VCR to channel four. Somehow, the DVD player has been switched to play on channel four. Go figure.

Problem number two. Computer is out of space. Solution: delete old, no longer needed video clips.

Problem number three. Can no longer access current project due to missing clips. Solution: strangle Xenia for deleting those 'no longer needed' video clips. Wait, no. That's just the mental image. My mistake. Solution: decide that the computer's just confused and restart. Restarting doesn't help. Solution: System restore. Don't freak out on me yet; just a small one, within the month ('cause poor Beast can't restore to anything before that anyway). That doesn't work either. Bang head into desk repeatedly. Non helpful. Try acessing other (FY, AS) projects. They don't work. Try creating new project and accessing. Works. Try accessing other (FFX) project. Works! Try accessing the three I'd tried before (FY, AS, Xenia's YYH). Doesn't work. But, does tell me which clip is missing. Solution: copy random clip and rename as the missing clip. Try to access project. Success!

Problem number four. Project plays fine, up until the missing clip. Everything after that is screwy. Solution: delete the missing clip from the project and record that scene again later.

Xenia has given up on working on her video today, so I take over. I want to work on that FFX one, anyway; all I'd done with that was get the opening scenes in, since I'm focusing on the AS vid.

Problem number five. Video freezes as soon as I add a clip. Solution: exit and run program again.

Repeat number five. Over and over and over again. Restart computer.

Problem number six. For whatever reason, any clips added from anything other than the ending sequence of FFX are about half the size of the screen. Solution: Swear. A lot. And restart. And so on and so forth. Finally realize that the source clip of the ending was downloaded, not recorded, and actually is twice the size of the other clips, just being resized. Maybe the other clips are automatically being resized too. Solution: produce current unfinished movie, which should make all clips the same size and remove need for resizing.

Problem number seven. Movie gets to 22% and then stops. Twice. Solution: Screw it, I'm gonna netsurf.

2002-05-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

...I didn't sign in just now. Blogger still remembers me signing in from yesterday? It's not supposed to remember me... *is irritated/freaked*

Well, anyway. Ignoring the latest in the long list of minor oddities in my life...

ESCAFLOWNE.

*faints*

To all those people who have marked May 3rd as the day Spiderman comes out, let me just say this: Ha. Ha ha, ha.

Don't get me wrong. I plan on seeing Spiderman too. Eventually. Looks nice. Or at least it did, before I watched this, and had all perspective thrown entirely out the window.

The Escaflowne movie. Big screen. First row center. I was in Gaia. And dear gods. Wow. Spoiler-free, my reaction (one of them) to the ending was an overwhelming urge to glomp Folken-sama and not let go, ever. What really disturbed me is that most people who haven't seen the TV series wouldn't get that urge at all, because his original motivation in this (Van got the throne instead of me!) is a lot more selfish. In fact, I commented on Folken-sama on the way home, and the person driving reacted "Ugh!" If she hadn't been driving at the time, I would have been forced to leap across the seat and strangle her.

Other highlights: Nariya and Eriya. Brief appearance. But a beautiful one. But one that would cause almost no reaction without seeing the TV series first. Two reactions. 1: Their whole role in Escaflowne is narrowed down to this? 2: Wait... so, if Folken hadn't found them (and that whole thing in their past hadn't happened, of course), they could have lived a normal (and presumably fairly happy) life? The other big thing in comparison to TV series: DILANDAU. Still insane, but his reaction to his Dragonslayers (they're not called that, actually, but I don't think they were given a name)... Dear gods. The weak die, the strong survive?! Dilandau?!

On a non-TV-related note... THE VISUALS. WOW. I already knew the soundtrack was amazing. But the promotional pictures I'd seen hadn't impressed me. There were just so many visual treats, though! When Hitomi first arrives, she in her blue-and-white uniform is the only bright spot in a dark scene--a goddess bringing brightness to a dark world. Dilandau's armor reminded me of nothing so much as a demon, and dragging it up from the water = rising from the depths. Escaflowne, on the other hand, is described as a god that descends--complete opposites, but both are to destroy the world. And Escaflowne's transformation made me immediately think of an Angel of Death.

Folken-sama mentioned 'unmei' towards the end, and I got chills. But the theme behind Escaflowne the movie is entirely different from Escaflowne the TV series. Both are about life and death, of course. And battle. But destiny was mentioned only that one time. In Escaflowne the TV series, controlling destiny, creating an artificial fate in order to end war, a war to end all wars--these were major themes, from Zaibach's point of view. But Folken's (and originally Hitomi's) goal is to simply fade away--and take everything with him. Destroy the world to end suffering. It reminded me a great deal of FFX, actually (Yunalesca! Seymore!). His motivations were drastically different. He didn't even have his claw--the physical symbol of all his suffering.

I still wanted to glomp him, though. Glomp sounds suddenly too fangirl for me. This was a very serious movie. But I wanted to hold him and be there for him. At the end especially.

One thing that's bothering me. Sora. WHO IS THIS PERSON?! I love her, don't get me wrong. But why is she there? Where did she come from? What is she? I was thinking Atlantis for some reason, actually... but with absolutely no basis aside from pure intuition. Sora, who are you?

I wanted to glomp everyone at some point. Everyone. Well, Allan, I wanted to fight at his back. But you get the idea.

BTW. Sora, Time of Gold Flowing, and Final Vision. The three best songs in existence.

And the movie was subbed, not dubbed. YESSSSS! ...although the dub actually looks pretty good. But, YESSSSS!

Passed a more mundane theater on the way home. With the movies they were playing listed out front, you know? As we're discussing fate and destiny and suffering and life and loyalty.

...Spiderman.

Ha. Ha ha. Ha.

2002-05-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

The hardest thing for me is to start something. Now this is odd, because I used to think starting things was easy. I always knew the beginning of a story I wanted to write, but never the end. But it's the beginning that's the hard part, now. I can never find just the right words to start with.

It's not just writing I'm talking about, it's everything. There's some sort of scientific principle that goes along with this, isn't there? An object at rest will remain at rest. Take excercise. I love excercising. It's fun, it's healthy. Joy. Most people, from my experience, will excercise for about half an hour and then quit--which is very healthy, but I'm weird. When I excercise, once I start, I can go on more or less indefinitely. I'll start out with stretches and crunches and pushups, then weight lifting, then go running if it's nice out, or go hiking in the woods, or if it's nasty outside do some yoga, or... it goes on for a while. But I don't excercise nearly as much as I'd like, because I don't start it. I don't know why. Sitting down on the floor and doing some crunches isn't dificult. It's something I like. And a lot of the time I'll think to myself, it's been a while since I've excercised, I'm bored, why don't I do some stretches? But I don't. No clue as to why. I just have a tendency not to start things, no matter how much I enjoy them while I'm doing them. It's very strange.

2002-04-29T17:09:00.000-07:00

Random quote of the moment:
"Humans are amusing."
"Fools are amusing."
"That's what I said."
"No, you said humans... hey!"
*snicker*

Followed by:
"The whole world is cracked. ...Cracked is such a cool word! It sounds like a drug reference, but it's not!"
"..."

...yes, I do enjoy my insanity. Oh, and guess what I'm going to see this Friday? On the big screen? Yes, that's right kiddies, it's Escaflowne: A Girl in Gaea! Woo! I'll finally be able to see the source of the most wonderful soundtrack in existence (and the best ALHR-reading music ever), and in a theater no less! W00t! After missing X, I am going to be at the first showing this time, no question!

2002-04-27T18:52:00.000-07:00

To do:
Jay Gordon--Nightwalker--Cain/Shido, Shido-Riho
Five for Fighting--Smallville--Clark/Lana
Puddle of Mudd--FY--Yui, Miaka, Tamahome, Hotohori
X Japan--FFX--all
Metallica--FFX--Auron, Jecht, Braska
"If I could, then I would..."--FFX--Tidus/Yuna
Creed--FY--Yui
Bush--IWTV--Lestat/Louis
Nickelback--Cowboy Bebop--Spike/Julia/Viscous
Steve McDonald--FY--Nuriko
Linkin Park--Utena--School life vs. Duelist life
Splashdown--Utena--Utena, Anthy, Toga, Akio
Staind--MKR--regret (remake)

2002-04-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

Recent search results that turned up NOTHING... grrr...

CCKxSpark
YCCKxSpark
ECCKxSpark
random yaoi action

...also 'skin Hiei alive'... but I think it's good that one didn't find anything...

Oh! And I was on a plane! FOUR times! Ha! ^____^ *dances around* Whew! I fly! ^_^ I have also been encourage-ed on my crazy schemes by the complete stranger sitting next to me on his way back from a phone card convention. Bwahahahahaha. Now I shall be insuferable-er. ~_^

2002-04-18T16:03:00.000-07:00

Crap. I'm in a bitchy mood today for no apparent reason. Hate that. Don't think it's PMS... don't really keep track so I could be wrong, but... Don't think it's the heat either, 'cause the past two days were hotter and even that wasn't that hot (although everyone else seemed to think it was, but go figure). Pre-con stress, maybe, or something? But yesterday I was all psyched about it and went to the mall to get cosplay stuff and met some cool people working at Suncoast starting an anime club, and I was all "yay! Con!" ...but just now I was working on my Shuichi cosplay, and there's a few details that just don't hang quite right, but not that big of a deal, and people came in and started talking to me, and I went full-out bitch. No apparent reason. Argh. Hate that.

Well, I wound up thinking that my cosplay looked like crap and no one's going to recognize me, but I usually think that way, and I'm usually right, but I usually have fun anyway, so... crap, now I've got a headache... Why the bitchy mood? Why?

I very nearly started crying a few minutes ago. My eyes were tearing up, and then I noticed, and went what the heck? ...although I've got a vague guess as to why that happened, but that probably belongs more on my other blog... moving on.

I've been bored beyond belief lately. Seriously, incredibly, bored. And I don't know why. I've got all the work to do that I had before, I've got all the hobbies that I had before plus two... but I get home and I sit in front of the computer and get off the computer and wander around the room awhile and get on the computer again and blog about being bored. And this has been going on for weeks. And I keep thinking, 'well, why don't I do something fun?' and answer myself 'what's fun?' 'well... um... hey, anime! Let's watch anime!' 'I've seen all my anime before, and all the rental store's anime, and I don't feel like driving up to the mall just to buy a movie.' '...okay, fine. Um... let's call someone!' 'People suck.' 'Well, aren't you pleasant... wait, you? Now I'm talking like you're a separate individual...' 'Yep. We're full-out crazy.' 'Anyway... let's work on our contact juggling!' 'Okay. There's a ball on the back of my hand. Wheee. I sure am having some fun.' 'Prick. Work out?' 'Already did. Yawn.' 'Guitar?' 'Fingers are still sore.' 'Piano's out too, then... and drawing... and typing, for that matter... damn. Walk in the woods?' 'Tempting... but too hot.' 'Geez... let's just get on the computer and blog.' 'Fine. Not that that's fun either, but at least my body will be moving...' ...and lookie, I'm still bored.

And what makes it worse is there's nothing to look forward to. It's not like, well, I'm bored now, but soon I'll be able to go... insert-fun-activity-of-your-choice-here. Which is wrong. 'Cause I'm going to a con tomorrow. Cons are fun. I was excited about it yesterday, for a while (most of yesterday I was just bored). But... I don't know. Not excited. And past the con... more cons... college... eventual career... trip to Japan... okay, there's a little 'yay' involved in that last one.

I'm thinking it's wanderlust. I haven't been anywhere in ages. The only things that catch my interest at all involve travel (although at times even that can't get me excited...). I want to wander... Sucky modern world, modern wandering bards so hard to do and all... *sticks tongue out*

Oh. Got an idea. Looking for deeper meaning in my life. That's probably it. 'Cause the things that keep me entertained are just that--entertainment. Not very deep, that. Even working out hasn't served any major practical purpose that I can see. I am the definition of practical (well, with my own bizarre self-interest twisting that ino whatever I want it to mean), but most of the things I can do to keep myself entertained are very frivolous. Video games. Japanese cartoons, for crying out loud.

Damnit. Deeper meaning, huh... Anything beyond this belongs on my other blog.

2002-04-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

Which Gackt are you most like?

quiz by mcvarmazi

2002-04-10T14:19:00.000-07:00

Discovery! Getting out of a bad mood is surprisingly easy as long as you keep one thing in mind: You are superior to all other lifeforms on this pathetic planet. Damn, being self-centered can be fun. ~_^

Seriously! First off, your bad mood is obviously a direct result of someone else's actions. It can't be your fault because you, of course, are perfection. So some stupid insignificant being did something typically stupid and pissed you off. Stop and think about this for a second. That insignificant being pissed you off? They have that much control over your emotions? No way! You're perfection, that means you're stronger than that! Geez, pathetic insignificant being, thinking it had control over you... shyeah, right! Laugh over the foolish mortal's stupidity and go on with your day, happy in the knowledge of your own perfection.

~_^ Hey, it may be chock full of delusions of grandeur, but it's fun. And spending a day being pissed off over something stupid is just plain annoying. It also helps to have some nice non-angsty yaoi to stare at, if you can find any. But that could just be me. ~_^

2002-04-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

Gods, I've been screwed up lately.

Tons of assignments to do before tomorrow. Well, today, now. Three different responses to Hamlet, and an essay regarding Don Quixote to be written in Spanish. It's truly difficult to write a creative response to Hamlet when you've seen the thing a million times. Not that I don't love it, but... *sigh* Classes, huh? Well, the Hamlet thing's done with, and CAGE is all ready for tomorrow's update--yay, happy me, my webcomic's finally online! Sorry, I'm still worked up about that--but the essay in Spanish has yet to be begun. Why? Because it needs to be written in Spanish, simply. And I am bad at that. I could write it in Japanese, although badly. But not in Spanish, even though I've been studying it for years. I've never heard people really speak it, use it as their natural tongue. Translation I can do. But I can't think in Spanish, which makes it very difficult to write.

And so I wound up writing poetry instead.

*sigh* ...bad Kiti, bad bad Kiti... I really do need to stop this whole procrastination thing, it's very bad for me. Even though I have been wanting to write a poem like this for a while.

...whoa. That was weird. I haven't wanted to write poetry since I got over the whole teenage angst thing. Huh.

Well, anyway, this needed to be written. But why, in the name of all the gods, did I feel the urge to post it online? On ff.net, of all places? It's not like it's going to make any sense to most people. And even of the people who do understand most of it, there's at least one verse that no one aside from me will understand.

Well, maybe one person. But I sincerely doubt she'll ever read it. Well, maybe, but probably not.

...Crap. I think I just realized why I posted it on ff.net. Kiti, you are such a baka...

2002-04-01T16:47:00.000-08:00

CAGE IS UP! CAGE IS FINALLY UP! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a Forever Knight marathon to get back to.

2002-03-29T13:32:00.000-08:00

Ooooh. Funky. Some good tips for beginners! I liiiiiiiiike.

2002-03-29T13:13:00.000-08:00

And just because this blog's been making me feel like a damned New Ager lately...

There's a bishink pairings test. Go figure.

i'm squall x zell!

i'm a guy; i like to fuck. okay, so maybe, yeah, we love each other, but geez, i won't go getting all squashy on you.

wanna beer or something?

take the which bishink pairing are you? test,

by tenshi and llamajoy.

2002-03-28T14:18:00.000-08:00

Heather Alexander is a true bard. Normally I just grab music from Kazaa, but since she's so nice and put up full versions of some of her songs on her page, I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I think I'll buy that Wanderlust album.

Heh, this from the woman who makes music videos set to Creed and the Queen of the Damned soundtrack... ~_^ I listen to classical music and opera too, you know. Along with J-pop/rock, of course. My musical tastes are so weird... I like good music. Strange, isn't it? ~_^

Went on a walk in the woods today. Yes! Why is this important enough to mention? 'Cause it's the first time it's been warm enough for it in months. Ignoring the days when it was warm but melted snow flooded the forests, which don't count. I was going quite insane, stuck in the house like that. Actually, it was still kind of cold, but I found myself taking my coat off by the time I got back anyway. *shrug* There seems to be someone building a house back there. Saw a concrete truck. >.< How did they get a truck that big that deep in the woods...? It irritated me, but it's not on my property, and I suppose they have a right to build themselves a house, so I really can't complain. Ah well. Spent about five minutes having a staring contest with a chipmunk. And then a titmouse. That was interesting. ^_^ Am happy now. Feel like I should have a flute or something.

2002-03-27T13:15:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to me! Yesterday. ^_^

My request for 'something other than anime merchandise' was blatantly ignored. Oh well. Not that I could think of anything non-anime-ish that I actually wanted. But that's okay, 'cause I got Yuna and Tidus figures! *glomps them both* These two sooooooo desperately needed a glomp throughout that game... and now I can glomp them! ^_^V Aaaaaaand... *holds up Zelgadis plushie* ^_^ This was the first plushie I ever wanted, and now I've got one! Ha! ^_^V Ka-wa-ii! Oh, and I finally picked up the materials to start making a plushie of my own! Kuthra won't be nearly as pale as I wanted, but hey, I'm impatient. The boy needs a little color, anyway. :P

Oh, and dad came through with his usual non-anime present: 400 dollars, cash. Love ya, dad. ^_^

2002-03-25T16:18:00.000-08:00

Gods. *bashes head into keyboard*

ajdsfdsahj;ka

If you've been paying attention, you've probably noticed that I tend to say 'gods' a lot. Not 'God.' Gods. Plural. Which means, yes, you've got it, I am not Christian. I am pagan, or wiccan, or something in between. Take your pick. I've never done very well in organized religions, even those with as little organization as wicca and paganism, so I really don't have a label for what I believe. But in the simplest form possible, I believe in more than one deity, I believe in reincarnation, and I use magic. Magick. Majyk. I really don't care how you spell it, I do things that would have gotten me burned at the stake a few centuries ago and treated as a perfectly ordinary but helpful woman a few centuries before that.

And, now that I've scared half of you away, let's piss off the other half, shall we?

I say that, but this isn't a rant for the sake of ranting, pissing people off, stirring up comments, being controversial, etc, etc. Although all that does seem to come naturally to me, this is really starting to bother me. All right, now I'm sure some of you are going, "ooh, ooh! Me too! I do magick (watch the k) too! I'm a high-priest-in-training! See all my Llewellyn books? See? See? Look at my alter, isn't it pretty? And my wand! Bought it in Salem, MA for just $200!"

...

...aaaand, this is where I mutter 'gods' and bash my head into the keyboard.

I do magic. I'm spelling it that way because it's short, it's simple, and it doesn't change letters around just to look fancier. The same way I do magic, in fact. It's simple. I meditate. I 'pray', if you could even call it that--'worshipping' anyone, as in suplication, isn't exactly in my nature. I visualize things the way I want them to happen. If I decide to do a ritual on the holidays, that's great and fun and yes, effective, but I work small magics most of the time, and they're just as useful. And you know what? If I do use rituals, I don't use a $200 wand from Salem, MA. Although I have been to Salem multiple times, and yes, it is fun. But a fallen twig works just as well--better, sometimes--and costs you a lot less. Swords are good. I like swords. They're fantastic. But for ritual purposes, I use a kitchen knife. You really don't need all the fancy props, people. Holding them up as proof of your amazing wicca-ness isn't going to impress anybody.

I have similar opinions regarding those Llewellyn books. Now, they're interesting. I've read them. I even own a few. And for the most part, they repeat each other, frequently. They rant about the injustices done to pagans/witches over the centuries. They constantly--and I do mean constantly--reassure the reader that what they're doing is right, and natural, and not evil, and how dare Christian society hold us back from this?! Personally, a lot of my very good friends are Christian, and I really don't appreciate all the bad-mouthing. Yes, bad things happened. But I'm not looking for a history lesson, and I don't think the teenyboppers buying the books are, either.

Yes, I said teenyboppers. That's what they look like, that's what they act like, that's what I'm calling them. Dressing in black and wearing a pentacle doesn't change anything. Get over it.

My main issue with the books, though, is that they are full of utter drivel. There is some useful information in there, but it is few and far between. Some of the books seem to defeat their own purpose; attempting to give the reader relatively advanced information while aiming the book at a beginning practitioner. And few of the rituals described are anything a practitioner couldn't come up with on their own. And after reading this drivel--and here's what really gets to me--the teenyboppers are suddenly, somehow, the high priestess of Isis or some such rot.

The most vivid example I can think of is from my senior year of high school. I sat next to a wiccan boy in study. We both liked anime, so we'd occasionally talk together, I'd lend him tapes (I lent pretty much the whole anime-watching parts of the town tapes), and so on and so forth. Once he found out that I was a wiccan too (or whatever you want to call me), he turned the conversation to that more and more often. I don't mind talking about wicca at all, but it's not an obsession with me. It's just part of life. (Anime's my obsession, in case you hadn't noticed. ~_^) But, anyway, we talked. And it became pretty clear that I was dealing with, yes, one of those irritating Llewellyn-worshipping teenyboppers. I put up with it. Tried to give him a few pushes in the right direction. But I soon decided he was a lost cause. Apparently, he was in training to become a high priest. From a mail-away school.

...

Yes. With certifications and everything. As far as I'm concerned, the only point in a wiccan/pagan priest/priestess having some sort of certification is to be allowed to perform marriages. It should not be the goal of your spiritual journey, quest, whatever you want to call it. This annoyed me. But another incident just plain frightened me. It's the windiest day we've had for a while, I walk into study, he points out the window to the wind blowing through the trees and says "See those trees? I did that." ...he made the wind, summoned the wind. Apparently, he saw some sort of deity, and this control over the wind was a gift. Personally, I have never seen any sort of deity on this plane. I'm not even going into the astral plane. He'd told me he couldn't astral project anyway, so it doesn't matter. But I try to keep an open mind. (Well, duh.) So I gave him the benefit of the doubt and didn't question this (out loud, anyway). From the conversation we had then, apparently he had little control over the weather; that is, he could stir it up, but he tended to get lost in the rush. And seemed to like it that way. Now, I do not mess with weather magic. I figure nature will take care of itself, and it's all too obvious what kind of serious problems can be caused by screwing with it. Hey, I live in New England; the weather's messed up enough without my help. So, since I don't know anything about this area, I don't know whether he was actually controling the wind or just a little delusional. Either way, the situation seemed just a little dangerous, for him or for the people around him or both. Magic generally doesn't allow any harm to be caused without some serious side effects, but I'm not entirely sure he was aware of any potential harm. Or of any potential side effects, for that matter. At one point, I tried to explain one of my major principles of magic to him--that knowing when to not use magic is just as important as knowing when to use it. His reaction was a blank stare, followed by "...you mean, just let it come naturally?"

...

Gods. *bashes head into keyboard*

For the teenyboppers, magic is a game. It's a power trip. It's a way of being non-conformist. And they absolutely love shoving it in the faces of everyone around them. And I have to admit, when I first found out, ooh, hey, I can leave my body!, I was pretty damn smug about it too. But I grew out of it. If wicca or paganism or whatever is your religion, your goal should be spiritual advancement, not 'hmm, I wonder if I can make the wind blow that guy's hat off his head.' Teenyboppers, as I see things, have two possible results. Either they go around claiming they're the real deal and showing off and making general fools of themselves, giving the rest of us a bad name in the process, or they actually learn enough technical magic and little enough of the philosophy that goes along with it to make themselves dangerous, to themselves if to no one else.

A simple request. As you teenyboppers seem so proud of pointing out, this is a centuries-old religion with a proud tradition, and takes much more intelligence and maturity than simply following the words of some silly old priest, right? Right. Then try showing a little of that intelligence and maturity and think once in a while, damnit.

And for the record, my grandfather was a strict Catholic, my best friend for as long as I can remember is a church-going Christian, and at least one of my relatives is a Catholic priest. Bad-mouthing Christians doesn't do anything but get people pissed off at you, their religion is as valid as any other, challenging orthodox does not make you cool, show a little respect or shut the fuck up.

Blessed be.

2002-03-24T00:04:00.000-08:00

Something has just been pointed out to me that made me think about a lot of things. Damn. Excuse me while I self-analyse once again. Just need a place to list out all my freaky (physical) characteristics, and blog was convenient, feel free to skip to the links...

Nails--thicker, harder, and faster-growing than norm (proven)
Hair--see above, except for harder (proven)
Eyes--change color with day and/or mood, most often green, occasionally red (verified)
Strength--completely out of proportion to physical scale. (According to others, anyway. Adrenaline?)
Senses--20/20 vision (proven), heightened hearing in right ear (proven), heightened scent of smell (unverified. How do I verify that?)
Ability to see auras--unable to verify, but if it's a hallucination, it's a pretty damn constant one.
Frequent, strong static shocks--this is off and on. Lately has been getting worse. Can't really verify this, aside from the people who get shocked when I touch them.
Sensitivity to cold--don't know how to verify this, either. But I do actually feel much physical pain in temperatures around zero or below, while others appear fine. Tell me that's in my head and I will rip out your tongue.
Temperature--usually below norm by a degree or more (verified)
Immune system--Inability to get anything worse than a cold/sore throat, lasted for about ten years before had a fever, which lasted one day while others had it for over a week. (verified)

...think that does it for the physical oddities, off the top of my head... hmm, might want to throw night vision in there too; can't verify that one either, but I usually have no problem seeing when others are completely blind. And sensitivity to sunlight, for that matter, but only when there are a lot of clouds. That last bit sounded weird. I know. But it hurts less to look at the sky on a clear day than when there are white clouds. Again, not something I can have verified.

*reads over list* ...Damn. Now I need to go think about things...

2002-03-23T22:45:00.000-08:00

Am becoming amused by the number of webcomics linking to my blog. Most bloggers just get links from other blogs, but nope, I get webcomics linking me. Ha. My blog gets funkier links than your blog. Take that.

~_^

Anyway, on a serious note... um... wait for it, I'll think of something. Um... hm. No, can't think of any serious rant today. No real CAGE updates either. Hmm. Well, cosplay's finally going somewhere, anyway! Oh, and I found a Shuuichi Minamino outfit I actually could possibly make, and want to wear. Go me. This cool black thing that looks like he stole Hiei's pants. I've only ever seen one picture of him wearing it, and he never wore it in the series, so it'll be almost entirely unrecognizable, but I still think it's cool. I'll just carry around a rose or something and pretend people can tell who I'm supposed to be. Standing next to a Hiei, a Botan, and a Youko Kurama might be a hint. Went shopping for supplies today too, joy! Only not, 'cause I hate clothes shopping (I'm so entirely not a girl). But getting home and chopping things up to turn them into other things was fun. Shuichi's outfit's almost done already, just need to find a white sash and I'm set. Prince, on the other hand, is being impossible to find anything for. You'd think stores would sell plain white jerseys without logos sometimes, but apparently not. Grr.

Hey, I kind of wound up with a rant after all. Joy. Now go read ALHR and worship Twig for the goddess she is.

2002-03-22T13:19:00.000-08:00

The scene is dead.

...okay, maybe it still exists, somewhere. But it sure as hell isn't in New England. Especially in New England high schools. Gods, kids. Get a clue already.

I'm not a goth. I'm not a punk. I just hang out with a lot of them, because they tend to be much more intelligent than most foolish mortals. So this is an outsider's perspective. But the moment you see kids dressed like something halfway between a 21st century punk and a 17th century gentleman, with pink hair, proclaiming "I'm into spooky death stuff," you know you've got problems.

Damnit.

2002-03-22T11:45:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure I just failed Calculus.

...Yes, yes I did.

Waah... I don't get these new formulas... an object's volume can't change when you rotate it in different directions! That doesn't make any sense! ;_; Calculus depresses me and hurts my head. I'm going to stop thinking about it now. ...wait, that's probably the reason I'm failing it... oh well.

CAGE update? Still haven't heard anything on the 'new' password thing. Grr. I haven't exactly been real motivated to draw new pages, either, 'cause I've already got a huge backlog, and, you know... no one can see them... *pointed stare at Keenspace* I have, however, been drawing huge amounts of the characters posing randomly. Mostly of Akira, for some odd reason. I don't even like him. And the man refuses to obey me when I try to draw him. Example? I was trying to draw a sweet, romantic picture of Ryo and Maiku--this is supposed to be a yaoi comic, despite the way it's going so far--but Maiku was proportioned oddly, and his eyes were crooked, and I tried to fix his eyes and he somehow turned into Akira. Eep? It's now this really funky picture of Akira kind of... um... I'd say 'glomping' Ryo, but glomping doesn't look this creepy. It's creepy. Yeah. Anyway. And then another one of Akira, when I was trying to just have him stand there and pose with the 'I am sexier than you are' stare he had the first time I drew him, but... he kind of wound up on a cross, with a crown of thorns, and nails and blindfolds and blood... and looking like he was enjoying it. Eep. Okay, seriously not intentional. I don't know how this keeps happening. Akira freaks the heck out of me now. And then I tried to draw him looking creepy, and it just turned out this perfectly ordinary shot of him staring at someone over the rim of his sunglasses. *mutter mutter* NON-cooperative. Oh! Actual online update, though... There's three pictures from CAGE at my Elfwood gallery, finally, and the first few pages in written form are on fanfiction.net. Why fanfiction.net? 'Cause I don't know where else to put my stories. :P I've actually gotten two reviews. Shock. Why do people read original stories on fanfiction webpages? It doesn't make any sense... oh well.

2002-03-18T12:11:00.000-08:00

Latest stage in the Keenspace misadventure. Finally got a response to my SECOND request for help:

"Hello,
If you need a new password..."

You know, the e-mail address this came from looked like a human being's, but I'm somehow getting the distinct impression that this is the online equivalent of "If your house is on fire, press 1. If your house is being broken in to, press 2. If you have a rotary phone, well, damn, you're pretty well screwed, aren't you?" *bashes head into desk* No. I do not need a new password. The word 'new' implies that I once had a password, which I did not. Or instructions on how to, you know, update my page for that matter. *mutter mutter* It's okay though, I've requested a new password, and I'll just go pester someone on the Keenspace ML for help on the update thing. They're mostly rude and crude, but occasionally helpful. They're the ones who told me who to e-mail to actually get a response to my request for help. Even though the response isn't all that helpful... it's a step, anyway. And in the right direction for once. Joy.

...okay, it's been five minutes. *checks e-mail* ...why is there still no new password here?

...*has the feeling she's gonna have to try the helpline again*

I do use a rotary phone, BTW.

2002-03-17T14:20:00.000-08:00

Ryusaki Akira--Eden's leader
Gaburieru Ryo--Y.G.
Yuushiro Maiku--O.G.
Tsukada Reiko/Rachel--Girlfriend
Kurotsu Camui--Henchman #1, trenchcoat
Meshitada Zakuro--Henchman #2, red hair
Kurotsu Urani--Priest
Asurae Kiyomi--one-winged angel
Ruiji--Akira's mentor

Is it strange to come up with names for people after you've been drawing them for three months?

2002-03-16T13:45:00.000-08:00

Oh, hey, and random plug of the moment, too.

Doujinshi Mania

Cool store. And run by Pika. Gotta love it. ~_^ So go buy something already!

2002-03-16T13:36:00.000-08:00

Random quote of the moment:

Hi hi hi hi hi hi..... You are a bad dog. bad... bad dog. you are a bad dog. bad. dog. you are. dog. bad. are you. are dog bad. you. am monkey. am am am am am ammmmmmonkey. Love the butterflies and they shall bring you flowers from the rose garden. Eat the butterflies and no roses shall enter your life cycle.

...the e-mail I just received. Yeeeeaaaahhhhh... Drugs are bad, Xenia.

2002-03-15T22:14:00.000-08:00

Started a new fic. >.< Ack... too many...

Quick mental check. Ongoing fics:
FFX:
Jecht Spheres
Only in Dreams
The Unforgiven Two (songfic; need to FINISH, damnit!)

FF8:
Starfall

FF7:
Paradise Lost (at over 20 chapters, I BETTER continue this!)

Outlaw Star:
...abandoned for so long I REALLY don't think there's much hope of revival here...

Adding another one to the FF7 part of the list. Angsty. Now there's a shocker. (Sarcasm.) Vincent/Reno. That one really is a shocker. I've always been dead set on my preferred FF7 pairings: Sephiroth/Cloud, Vincent/Cid, Cloud/Aeris, Zack/Aeris, Cloud/Tifa, Vincent/Lucrecia, Rufus/Reno. ...okay, so I've got a lot of preferred pairings. But they've always been dead set. *nod nod*

...okay, I'll read Vincent/Yuffie too. But only in ALHR.

...Crap. I was trying to say how strict I am on what pairings I'm willing to write for this series, but I just had to go and be all open-minded; even when I think I'm being strict I've got too many pairings for normal people! Geez! Wendy Pini, it's all your fault. That bloody ElfQuest comic with all those bloody threesomes and Go Back parties and so on and so forth... Grr. I am now far too open minded to be acceptable in human society, and it's all your fault. I hope you're happy. ~_^

Anyway. This one's a weird pairing even for me, anyway. Mainly based on ages. Vincent could have been Sephiroth's father (I say he really is, but that's irrelevant; I'm looking at ages here). Sephiroth is generally assumed to be in his early 30's, possibly late 20's. The manual puts Vincent's age at 27. Sephiroth is at least 27, so unless Vincent was dating Lucrecia at age 0, we can assume the manual means Vincent was 27 when Hojo started experimenting on him. If Sephiroth is around 30, it's been 30 years since then, so Vincent is around 50, and physically still 27. Reno's usually assumed to be in his early 20's... that makes him younger than Sephiroth. Hojo's experiments on Vincent started around when Sephiroth was born. So there's no way I could possibly have Reno meet Vincent while Vincent's still a Turk, like I wanted, unless I play seriously fast and loose with the timestream. Which would put this story in the AU category. Which I consider cheating. Damn.

Okay, change of plans. Hmm... so, post-experiments. But I still want it to be pre-game. Hmm. How long was Vincent sleeping, anyway? Could Reno have woken him up before Cloud & co got there?

Hmm... I want a young, but legal-age Reno, in case I wind up throwing a lemon scene in here (doubtful, but just in case). So... assume he's 24 in the game? Hell, I could probably stretch it to 27. Heh, yeah, I like that better. Reno's now 27 in the game. *nod nod* Squaresoft never gave any official ages to the Turks, did they? Minor characters and all... most of their ages are fanon, as far as I can tell, and fanon can be ignored. Fanon SHOULD be ignored; it's the only way to get something original. So, if Reno's 27 in the game, then he was 22 during the Nibelheim incident--don't think I'll need to deal with that, but a good thing to keep in mind--and he was 16 eleven years before the game. Which puts Vincent in his mid-fourties. And probably sleeping. Hmm. I need to check how long he was sleeping; was that ever stated? Oh well. Doesn't matter. I'll assume Hojo woke him up from time to time over the years, and... yeah, it'll still work. Heh. ^_^V

2002-03-15T20:47:00.000-08:00

Fools are amusing. Until they get annoying.

You know what just cracks me up? Beyond all reason? Maniacal laughter and all? People who think they have some sort of authority over me. HA! Okay, part of this is ego. But most of it is, when you don't care what people think about you, very few people actually have any control over you at all. There are people I'm nice to because I LIKE them and I don't MIND listening to them. But people that think yelling at me is actually going to make me want to help them? *snicker* A whole bunch of us got yelled at today, and most of the others were grumbling about it afterward. Well, alternating between grumbling and giving me weird looks 'cause I was doubled over laughing. Seriously, I have a really bizarre sense of humor sometimes. People are STUPID. And they think they have power. I find that funny.

The only person who has any power over you whatsoever is your boss, because s/he's paying you, and money is necessary in this world. But there are also a lot of jobs available in this world. Particularly if you have a lot of unusual skills. So if you don't like your boss, you can always go find a new one. I listen to certain people because I like them, they have earned my respect in some way, and/or they pay me large amounts of money. That's it. That's all there is. And people, acting like an asshole does not earn my respect. It earns my disgust. If you disgust me, I am not going to cooperate with you. Yelling at me doesn't help, either. Be nice to me, or pay me lots of money. Otherwise I will laugh in your face. And you can try to punish me however you want; there's nothing you can do that will really affect me, aside from things that will allow me to sue you.

Well, now that I've confused nearly everyone reading this... Saw AI today. I was told that it was weird, so I'd probably like it. It was weird. I liked it. I found it deeply disturbing, and it reminded me a lot of the Messiah storyline in Earthian. The whole love-as-programming thing, and the obsession with gaining someone else's love, and the problems that arise when someone's not quite a machine, but not quite a person either. But there were a lot of scenes in AI that just left me thinking "Oh my god... how could they do that?" A lot of things left me questioning human intelligence/morals. The creation of David in the first place, for one. The cruel kids didn't surprise me at all. Kids are always cruel. It was the rest of human society that really bothered me. I mean, what's the reasoning here? "Hmm, I think I will create a machine that can love, even though no human will ever love it back, make it one of a kind so that no machine can love it either, and then program it so that the most important thing in its life is the love of a human that will eventually die and leave this immortal child behind, alone, forever. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." *whaps forhead* A lot of the time, David's looking forward to something and you know it's going to turn out horribly wrong, but he's so happy about everything, and you're just sitting there thinking "Oh my god, how could they do that..." And there's really no one to blame except the people who built him that way. Which left me comparing it to god(s, goddess, whatever you choose to believe in) and the human race. Really, the man who created him didn't have any bad intentions, or at least not in his opinion. And he wasn't even aware of all the suffering he was creating. Change David's name to Adam, or religious first person of your choice, the metaphors are just wide open.

2002-03-14T18:17:00.000-08:00

My Tidus/Yuna CD arrived! *dances around happily* Yuna image song! Tidus image song! Tidus/Yuna duet! *dances around some more* Suteki da Ne! Instrumental versions! Rikki songs! *even more dancing* Guess what I'm listening to right now? ~_^

I am a happy kitty.

Oh! Aaaaaand, I finally did something for my beloved but much-neglected LM RPG! *more dancing* ...okay, well, it's not actually a post, but I updated my livejournal! It's something! Hey, getting over months of being unable to post is hard, okay? *pouts* *gets over it quickly*

And I'm getting sucked into another online RPG. A good one this time, though! Remember how I was talking about how fun DR used to be? Well, it occurred to me... why did I stop? I checked out the webpage and got sucked back in. Not into DR this time, though. Hercules & Xena. Did you know that Kevin Smith died? *moment of silence* He was a great man. I didn't know that he died. Found out on the HX page. *sniff* There's some great fan tributes to him out there. Although I'd prefer to be remembered as a guy, not a god of war, really... but a lot of the fans are remembering Kevin, the guy, so... hmm, happy, but sad... I'm bad with adjectives. Kevin, you will be missed.

Anyway, I'm trying the HX rpg. It's a lot smaller than DR, but it looks fun. And I like small RPGs. Been wandering the catacombs. Found an underground tomb. Empty. >.< Why hide things behind staircases and cracks in walls and rickety ladders if they're already looted anyway? But the scenery is great. Especially considering it's a text-only (well, mostly; they've added a few pictures! Interesting) rpg. Fun so far. If you happen to see a Pan-worshipping Warrior by name of Athelwyn, say hi!

And wrote part of the next JS, but got stuck right after chibi-Yuna showed up. Dangit. Must write more FFX! Must post something for my other online RPGs, too, for that matter. Crap, I have a lot of them. Must try re-posting for Zell, again... must make more attempts to get back into that other one... (Yahoo really hates me)... must drag the rest of the Al Bhed along kicking and screaming... hmm, is that it? I could make another pointless attempt at waking up the empty ones, I suppose... maybe later.

Still haven't heard back from Keenspace peoples. >.< How long has it been since I e-mailed them? Grr. I want my comic up, dangit.

Also tried uploading to Elfwood again, but I'm not sure if it'll go through. New ticket system and all. Last time I tried, it turned out all my pictures but one were too large. Not the 100-mb thing. The 700x700 thing. Grr. I draw big pictures, okay? It was still well under 100-mb... Even the one that was okay didn't go up, for some reason. Grr again. Resized and tried again. Wound up cutting off the tip of the fire demon/fairy's feet, and wings. Dangit. Better go up this time.

But the weather was nice today! For the first time in months! I'm so happy! And it was windy! I keep on having Jin lines going through my head. Mmm, this wind tastes so good! ^_^ ...okay, I'm weird, I know... anyway... um... so... meow!

2002-03-12T08:52:00.000-08:00

Found a computer where my layout looks the way it's supposed to. ^_^V Go me.

2002-03-12T08:45:00.000-08:00

You're Kishuu Arashi!
Always calm and composed, you aren't prone to dramatic outbursts or displays of emotion. You save your emotion for times when it is really necessary. Some might call you cold or distant, but on the upside, you're very emotionally strong and can take care of yourself. And when the right person comes along, they might just break your shell.
Which Dragon of Heaven are you?
Quiz by Kerianne

2002-03-11T15:26:00.000-08:00

I have recently been sucked into the black abyss that is Redmoon. Got into it 'cause they included a free disk with the manga, and book 5 had a cool cover. *shrugs* Read the manga. Loved the manga. I love finding obscure manga/anime that I've never even heard of and loving them. It's just so much fun. And this one had lots of fun yaoi-ful subtext with Philar and Sadad (see cover of book 5. Come on. Tell me that's not yaoi-ful. Also "But Sadad, I want to stay with you." That is not something you normally say to someone you've known all of five minutes). So I did a search online for Redmoon. Got the game. Did a search on Redmoon yaoi. Got nothing. >.< Checked out the game. Got sucked into a black abyss.

Okay, disclaimer. I have played exactly two massively multiplayer games. Ever. Not counting PSO, because I only played the offline version. I have played DragonRealms while it was still one of those free AOL games, which rocked, and Ultima Online, which also rocked, although not quite so much, mainly 'cause I tended to hate the people on it. I attempted to play Ragnarok but my computer got into a huge fight with the installation so, no. If you're into online gaming, go sign up for DragonRealms. Right now. It's text-based, but it is so much more fun than all the games that rely on pretty graphics to distract you from the boring game. Plus, most of the people don't suck. Gotta love that. See, the most memorable encounters I ever had in UO were the guys who shouted propositions (and then got beat up), the guys who PKed me my first day in the game, and the girl who, without any introduction, invited my (also female) character to have sex with her. ......Fun, okay, yes, mainly that beating up part, but somewhat lacking in the intelligence department.

But those few UO morons (and don't get me wrong, there were tons of intelligent people playing UO, they just weren't as loud) are the pinnacle of human acheivement compared to the folks over at Redmoon. See, the goal of UO, and DragonRealms, is pretty much whatever you want. You want to be a fighter? Great, be a fighter. You want to be a seamstress? That's fine too. How about a merchant? Want to see the world at the head of a caravan and make a little money in the process? Great, sounds good, go right ahead. Want to learn a little magic? That works for me. Heck, you can even get married in these games. You want to know what the goal of Redmoon is? To level up. Yup. That's it. And how does one level up? By killing things. And when you get a higher level? You can go somewhere else, and kill more things. Eventually, you get sent a mission, which usually involves--guess--killing things. And that's it. Oh, wait, you can also develop positive or negative honor. By... killing things. Don't get me wrong, randomly killing things can be fun. But I like a game that I can make a little impact on. In DragonRealms, I remember hearing about all sorts of events that changed the digital world. I wasn't involved in many, being a merchant, a bard, or a low-level ranger--was it called a ranger? *can't remember* Anyway, low-level, so that character wasn't involved in much, and my bard and merchant characters pretty much just passed the news along. But things were happening in that game. And in UO, even if you're just a seamstress who's lowering the prices at the local tailor's shop by flooding them with capes, you can see an immediate effect on the world. In Redmoon, the only effect you're having is killing monsters (or people, we kill people too in this game) who will then immediately resurrect--oh sorry, 'respawn.' Who the heck came up with that name?

There are a few nice, helpful people in the game, people who give directions and leave newbies their old weapons, people who hang out in the town square casting protection spells on anyone leaving the local hospital. There's also people who scream their heads off for over an hour--'scream' as in everyone in the same town as you can hear you--about the guy who stole a sword they left on the floor, and people who hang out in hospitals (which is where the dead characters respawn) so that they can kill people over and over again without giving them a chance to escape. Every conversation I had in this game started with people asking me "What level are you?" ...oh, wait, I'm sorry, this is an online game, so what I actually heard was "lvl?" Question mark optional. Thank you is "ty" or "thx." ... I'm sorry, but it does not take that long to type 'thank you'. That didn't even take me a full second. Learn to spell, people. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I lied. I did have one conversation that didn't start with "lvl?" It started when I (playing a male character this time) walked into a room, and the girl inside looked at me and immediately went "WOOF." ...LOL! Thank you, darling, but I generally prefer my women with just a little more class than that. Plus, I was trying to play a strong, silent type (by name of Yasha Ou). And probably a yaoi-ful type, although I hadn't decided. I blew her off--politely, I thought, although I'm apparently a bad judge of that. She then chased me out into the hallway and proceeded to shoot arrows at me. They didn't hurt me. At all. She just shot me. For a while. I thought this was kind of amusing--which goes to show just how entertaining this game is--so I stood there and let her, and eventually she got bored and stopped. And... that was about it. That was the most interesting encounter I had in this game.

I uninstalled the game yesterday. Boring as all hell, but you get sucked into it. There's this weird desire to make it to the next level, so you can see what's on that next screen without getting killed by the first monster to happen by. Plus, supposedly anyone who makes it to level 1000 gets a gold statue in the square. No one's made it to level 1000 yet, apparently. But really, I only have one complaint about the game. Well, two, really, but the creators can't really do much about the sheer number of morons who join their game, so I'll ignore that one. Why, oh why is there nothing to do in this game but kill people? At all? Couldn't we at least learn to make our own weapons?

In Redmoon's defense, though, it is very pretty. And... um... well, that's about it, actually.

It really is a wonderful manga, though. I recommend it. Just don't bother with the game. You can use the free disk as a... wossname... thing to put drinks on... damnit, I knew this game was sucking brain cells!

2002-03-11T14:52:00.000-08:00

*pokes layout*

...okay, so far I've seen my blog on two different computers. On one, the pictures don't work. On the other, the colors are all wonky. And the bar across the top looks waaaaaay too big, but that might just be 'cause it's at a lower resolution than I'm used to.

...screw it. It looks good on my computer, anyway, and I've never really understood why the rest of you keep coming here anyway. This layout can stay for a while.

2002-03-05T21:12:00.000-08:00

...on a depressing IRL note...
Yesterday was my grandfather's birthday. He died... two years ago, almost three now? Maybe? ...great, I can't even remember... now I feel even more sucky... anyway, the point it, mom mentioned it and asked me (and my sisters too, I'm assuming) to just... I dunno, pray, or say a few words to him or something... prayer not being appropriate in my case, since he's super-xtian (ex-priest) and I'm... really not... and he never really appreciated my references to female deities or generic higher-powers at all... Anyway. The thing is, I couldn't think of anything I wanted to say to him. I never could. We were not close. We lived like an hour apart, but we never talked at all. Mostly my fault. Of course, I was pretty much forbidden to say anything to him. He was ultra-conservative, and I am a feminist (not really, I'm just a bitch, but he seemed to think I was) pagan (or something) goth-ish (at the time, and I just wore black, but close enough for him) bi girl who wishes she was a guy and spends most of her time drawing japanese-style yaoi comics. He was old, I didn't want to piss him off, mom didn't want to piss him off, so I avoided mentioning anything he'd consider too weird. Which meant, you know, anything and everything I was interested in... but I really, really wish I could feel a little remourse. Or mourning, or something. That's the real problem; I never mourned. I felt bad that my mother felt bad, but I wasn't in mourning myself. Now, on one hand, I'm pretty good at coping with death. I have no fear of it whatsoever. I'm not suicidal, 'cause there's so many things in this world I want to do first, but I'm not afraid of death. It's just something different. Unless it's nothing, a void, you cease to exist, which is fine too; if you don't exist, it's not going to hurt, and you can't avoid it, so why fear it? But I should still have mourned my grandfather's death, I think. I was going through a really weird period of my life at the time. I didn't really feel most emotions at all. But I'm past that now, all better, and I still haven't mourned him. I don't even really miss him. And I'm pissed at myself for not missing him, 'cause that makes me feel like a sucky human being... wait, human beings suck anyway. A sucky sentient being, then. And yeah, I feel bad that someone died, but he was my grandfather. I really should be feeling more than I would if some random stranger died. ...Maybe that's the problem, actually. I didn't know him at all, so maybe he was some random stranger to me. Except that then I should be regretting not getting to know him, and I don't. I've never regretted anything in my life. I'm not sure if I know how. Which is a good thing; I believe you should live life without regretting anything you've done. But I also think it'd be nice if I could feel sad about my grandfather's death.
...well, anyway. Just had to work some of those thoughts out. Now that I've depressed you all beyond all reason... hey, could you do me a favor? Think sad thoughts about the death of some random stranger guy you've probably never even met. Maybe if enough people do that, it'll help make up for my complete and utter insensitiveness.
...and you know what really bites? When I'm done typing this, I'm going to keep wandering around online, 'cause I don't feel like going to bed, and I'll find something to distract me, and I'll probably cheer right up and forget about all this. Gods, I can be such a bitch. Oh well.

2002-03-05T20:51:00.000-08:00

I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Bard Fighter

Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.

Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently conccern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.

Secondary Class:
Fighters are the warriors. They use weapons to accomplish their goals. This isn't to say that they aren't intelligent, but that they do, in fact, believe that violence is frequently the answer.

Deity:
Hanali Cenanil is the Chaotic Good elven goddess of love, beauty, and art. She is also known as the Heart of Gold and Lady Goldheart. Her followers delight in creation and youth, and work to spread happiness, love, and beauty. Their preferred weapon is the dagger.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

This is so ME! Wow, down to every last detail! Heh, it's me IRL (do the right thing, but in my own weird way; artist type, but tend to beat people up; have an obsession with beautiful things and sharp objects), but it's what I'd like to be too, like an idealized version of me or something... and I even get to be an elf! And when it asks where you want to live, which usually stumps me 'cause I don't really care, one of the options was 'house in the trees, connected by bridges'... which is COMPLETELY my ideal home, even though I'm never going to find it in this world. ^_^;; I LIKE this test! This one's cool! ^___^

2002-03-05T20:40:00.000-08:00

# 1 Gackt (ex. Malice Mizer)
# 2 Ryuichi (LUNA SEA)
# 3 Teru (GLAY)
# 4 Tetsu (L'arc~en~Ciel)
# 5 Yukihiro (L'arc~en~Ciel)
# 6 Hide (X-japan, Spread Beaver, etc)

I'm.... GAAAAAACKT! *does happy little dance, Selphie-style* ...and I got almost all the crossdressers in a row starting at #10. Have been having a bizarre Dir en Grey obsession of late, which is odd, since I don't particularly care one way or the other about most of their music. I like Die, though. And Cage is cool. Particularly since it's got the same name as my comic! And I named the comic before I'd heard of the song! And the lyrics fit in a scary kinda way! ...oh, and Shinya is female, so he's not a crossdresser. I refuse to believe that he's male. He's female. Period. Actually, I saw a few pictures of him without the hair extensions/funky dresses, and now I can kinda see it, but... nope. He's female. *nod nod* I've been having fun pointing to pictures of DeG and having random people guess who the crossdresser is. Most of them say Kyo. "'Cause she's wearing a tie." ...LOL. Anyway... yeah. It's midnight, I'm braindead, I'm rambling. Am considering changing the layout. Not that there actually is a layout at the moment, since the links died a few weeks ago. So I'm actually just considering whether it's worth the effort of fixing the old layout before changing it. ...why am I still typing?

2002-03-05T09:09:00.000-08:00

Which Alien Dice Character are YOU most like?

Visit Aliendice.com!

2002-03-04T15:05:00.000-08:00

Have recently been reminded what it's like to use a dial-up modem. You poor, poor people. *sniff*

Ended vacation the best way possible: with a nice fun weekend of ridiculously depressing anime. Angel Sanctuary followed by the final episode of Cowboy Bebop followed by FFX in Japanese. Eight hours of that last one, actually. My DVDs arrived. Joy. Depression, actually. But in a happy way. Does that make sense? Does anything I say ever make sense? Forget it.

On a completely random note, for those strange people who are actually reading this and haven't noticed the links on the side yet, go read Dirty Socks. They make me laugh. Repeatedly. Which is really rare. So go read it.

2002-03-01T11:11:00.000-08:00

Posting some of Xenia's fics so that the br thing will fill in automatically; she doesn't feel like html-izing the whole thing. Meow. Read. Or not. Whatever. Enjoy.

Xenia: Uh oh. Another angst fic in the world of Ficdom.
Hiei: Hn.
Kurama: That's too bad. Write a WAFF fic. That's what the people want. Leaving with a nice warm fuzzy feeling.
Hiei: Why the Hells would someone write something like that?
Xenia: I've tried, Kurama. It just doesn't work. I write sad stuff. Sad stuff or bizarre funny stuff. WAFF? Just won't work.
Kurama: That's too bad.
Hiei: Write about a tournament. With me in it. Write about me kicking Bui's ass!
Xenia: No, Hiei. One.... I think I'm terrible at fight sequences. Two, I love that fight, it's my favorite fight ever! If I wrote about it I'd kill it.
Hiei: True. You suck.
Kurama: Hiei!
Hiei: What?
Xenia: *Glare* ...... No. I already know what I'm writing about, anyway. Angst. Sad and evil and twisted. Well... Not that terrible. But poor Rui-san!
Hiei: You're writing about Koorime?
Xenia: Yes. Koorime are usually ignored besides you and Yukina and occasional flashbacks. I'm writing a fic solely on Koorime, injustices, and Yuri! Well... not just Koorime... but... Yeah.
Hiei: Augh, a Yuri fic, I do NOT need to know about that!
Kurama: oh, that's sweet, Xenia. Er... the injustices bit is the angst, ne?
Hiei: *Running around in the background, making odd disgusted sounds and rants about why Yaoi bishounen shouldn't read about Yuri bishoujo*
Xenia: Yes, Kurama. And Shut up, Hiei, Yuri Bishoujo read a little too MUCH about Yaoi Bishounen, so it's fine for vice versa. Ok! Enough muses, FIC! Must write by myself before I get people running in and forcing me into it. Yelling and whippings ruin my concentration.

Disclaimer: Ha, you don't own YYH. Wait. I don't either. Wait... I suppose you do own YYH if you're reading this and thinking of suing me. Er... Don't sue. If I get no money for this, it's not fair that you get money for suing me, now is it? Maybe it is... Shutting up.
Warning: Yuri, if any sick person reading this is offended by that in any way... *glare*
Type: Angst.
Pairings: RuixHina, HinoyoxNikko (Who I'm sure you don't know, 'cause, HA! I made 'em up! :P) HinoyoxHina
Notes: Hinoyo means Fiery. Well... Technically Hi no yo means fiery, but... Oh well, it sounds funky. And all those nicknames going around in the village of the fire elementals are just like saying 'kid' or 'tot' to a child, we have our nicknames, they have theirs. It's not the real names of the people given the nicknames. Spark is a nickname, not the kid's real name. Spark's been taken. *glare*... I just really like the name... obsession. O.o and... it worked. Ha. And yes, the fire elementals are rather fire worshiping, if you couldn't tell. It's cool that way. Ha. They're fire elementals. Oh... and... if you didn't know... Hina is Hiei and Yukina's mother, Rui is her best friend, and... everyone else would be my characters. Sorta... Um... Just read.

~<>~ Frostbitten ~<>~

It was a land of icy beauty. Forever incased in snow and ice. A frozen wonderland where many demons dared not venture. As beautiful as it was, danger hid in its vast coat of winter. The land of snow was a lone island, separated from the rest of the Makai. Floating on nothing but the strong air of the Demon World. This strange land was the Koorime Island. The Island of the Ice Maidens.

The demoness' who inhabited this land of ice and wonder were filled with just as much beauty and cruel cold as the island itself. Long, slender women and girls, the only demons on the island. These beauties were forbidden to other demons. Hidden in their land of snow. They kept to themselves, everyday the same as before. Anything different, a taboo.

Relationships were strong in this island. Only women, they understood each other well. It wasn't uncommon for a Koorime to bond closer than friendship with a fellow Koorime. It was welcomed. Men were forbidden from this island of ice, so the ice demoness' were asexual and occasionally in need of a love relationship. Mating sexually was not impossible, but not welcomed.

A fine example of these demoness' in their prime were Hina and Rui. A strong friendship between these young women, and slowly it became closer and closer. Nothing special about these girls, they were like all the rest, dressed the same, acted the same, thought the same. But slowly, as Rui and Hina became closer, Rui noticed a certain distance in Hina's eyes. Almost a longing for something.

"Hina?" Rui's voice came, full of wisdom and strength. "What is bothering you?"

Hina blinked herself free of her daydream, focusing her vision on Rui's exquisite features. "Bothering?" She asked, in her sweet voice, innocence in every syllable. "Rui-chan, gomen ne. I was only daydreaming." She closed her eyes and squeezed Rui's hand against hers, moving a step closer to her lover.

The older girl nodded, glancing off at the snow clinging to the trees of the forest they were strolling through. "What of, if I may?"

Hina blinked at the question. She'd been known to let her mind wander often, but Rui never seemed to ask why or what of. Perhaps she's finally gotten curious. Good, she'd been wanting a chance to explain her fantasies to others for some time. "Of? Oh, Rui-chan, it's nothing. Just the usual."

"What is the usual, Hina? You never tell me of your daydreams. I want to know. Please?" She smiled faintly at the girl beside her. She saw a faint pinkish blush reach the pale skin of her lover and she knew this wasn't a thing Hina usually told many people.

"Well..." Hina pulled her free arm over, wrapping her hand against Rui's arm, and tightening her grip on the hand. "Rui-chan, have you ever wondered what it's like down there?"

"'There?'" Rui mimicked in confusion. "You mean in the Makai forests?"

"Mm." Hina smiled at the thought, knowing Rui was feeling odd about the conversation, though. "I know it sounds odd, Rui-chan. But we've been up here our whole lives. Hundreds of years wasted! We know this land, our ancestors know this land, it's nothing new. Nothing new at all. Can't we see the world? Don't we have a right?"

Rui blinked. //... Well. That came out of no where, now didn't it? How to talk to her about this one...// "Yes." She agreed. "We do have a right. But we're fine from where we are, Hina. Only few leave the Island, and only if they're banished... Or have no wish of returning! We're safer up here, among our kind. We're not meant for that world below, Hina." She tried to reason.

Hina looked off into the woods. Nodding, she tried to drop the subject, sure by now that Rui wouldn't see the way she saw over that topic.

"It's unheard of, anyway." Rui continued. "If you left, just to see a world of barbarians, what would I do without you?"

Hina looked at Rui, a little surprised that the Koorime continued with the subject, but also a little saddened that her lover just couldn't understand the way she could. "But... You could come with me, you know."

Rui shook her head, walking along the usual forest trail. "No, Hina. I need to stay here. I'm one of the most trusted midwives in the village, you know I'm needed. And nothing..." She finally found her way out of the forest and to an edge of the Island. "...could ever make me go down there." Stepped in front of Hina, pulling her along to the side, Rui padded her way to the cliff in her sandals.

Hina took a breath, then glanced over the edge, following Rui's lead. Her eyes lit up in wonder as the forest's greens and browns shrouded her vision. She drank in the sight of the strange birds she saw, flying just below the floating land, and the wide lakes and rivers her icy eyes would catch. Never before had a Koorime living on the Island experienced the feel of running water.

"It's so vast..." Hina whispered under her breath, but low enough for Rui to pick up.

"Vast, yes. Dangerous, definitely. Sorry, Hina, but please don't think about down there anymore. At least not good things about it. There's a reason we only use that land for banishment." Rui glared softly at Hina, not angrily, more so sternly, as if ordering.

Nodding, the younger Koorime sighed deeply, looking back at the forest, then to the Makai land again. Taking another look at the rivers, the plants, the villages, the birds, the warm feeling of it all, Hina breathed in, as if trying to take a part of the sight with her.

She smiled once again, looking at the forests sweetly, the colors her Island was stripped off and replaced with whites and blues. "It really is beautiful, though, Rui-chan." Hina whispered.

Rui looked at Hina, longing to pull her away from the sight and wash away the memories of such a place, the thoughts of going there.

Hina blinked as a flash of light, a beam of energy arose from a forest's solitude. "Oh!" She gasped and backed away, "Rui-chan, what is that!?" She asked in alarm, glancing to Rui, then back at the high yellow glow.

"As I told you, Hina, that place is dangerous! It's a fight... That's energy. See what I've told you?! A place like this... Even that glow is beautiful, I admit it. But touch it with a finger and watch yourself burn from your nails to your precious face and more! Please don't dream of such a place ever again, Hina." Rui scolded, adding a sound of wisdom to her words.

Hina nodded, obeying her lover. "Alright, Rui-chan." She said, closing her eyes and pulling herself closer to the older Koorime, intertwining her fingers into Rui's again.

~*~

Down, below the Koorime Island to the villages of the Makai, lived a small territory of elementals. Fire elementals, to be precise. It was a small village; everyone got along for the most part. Each knew well not to get on the other's nerves with the hot tempers everyone knew the Fire Demons could produce.

Among the Fire Demons was a terribly happy young man. He was one of the only males to give the children in the small society any attention, as was he one of the only males to give the women in the village more than enough attention. Loveable as he sounds, he got on the nerves of the men of the town, getting himself into trouble at least as much as once a day. But lucky for him, he was a good source of entertainment around the village, so he never got into too much trouble.

He was a tall man, in his prime. Well around six feet, the proud size of manhood among the people. The children were smaller than you could imagine, but once the prime had come a strong growth spurt would show off.

Well built muscles that he longed for the chance to use in the battles he's come to respect as so many other demons have. His skin was light, but it showed its signs of work, faint tans up his arms, chest and face. His hair was of raven's feathers, sparkling and black as the soul of fire. It had a white streak in it, a typical mark of any pure Fire Demon, different, usually, in each family. His was the shape of a star on his bangs. The rest, black and bushy, spiky looking; though it was very soft to touch. Unruly in all ways possible, gravity defying, some may say, while the tail of his hair was grown out, down to the middle of his back in long straight strands. He had side lock of hair in front of each ear, falling down to his collarbone.

He wore off-white pants, pulled together at mid-calf into his boots of much the same color. A vest hung at his chest in a rust color, a lovely shade of green for the trim. The same green shade used for a hand-sewn design of lines, swirling at the tips, in the middle of his vest. He had a lute, an instrument he enjoyed playing for the people of the village, strapped to his back by a single small, braided string, much like a backpack. Around its base were the same swirled designs that rested upon his vest, a familiar symbol to the elementals.

And his face. Ah, that was quite a sight. He had eyes as red as the fire he created. Creamy skin with a healthy tan. His cheeks were blushed faintly from the grins he'd shown so much. His mouth was fanged and curved up into a smile as often as possible. His ears had the usual slight point as common among his race, giving him an elfish look. He was always a cheery sight to behold with his prideful posture, his sprightly disposition, and his skillful, playful flirting and charming looks. The village was always either proud for his company or embarrassed by his antics. All the same he was loved.

"Hinoyo-san!" A small, young voice rang out from behind the said demon.

Hinoyo blinked and turned himself around in time to see one of the village children leap up into his arms. "Ah, Atsui." The Fire Demon grinned and pulled his arms up to stop the boy from slipping down. "Feeling better, today? You had the worst of colds the other day. Me and the boys were worried!"

Atsui gave Hinoyo an equally fang-full grin right back and nodded. "I'm a hundred percent--" a sneeze interrupted him and he rubbed his nose, "Ohh..." He groaned under his breath.

Hinoyo pulled the corner of his mouth up and raised an eyebrow in an unbelieving face. "I think bed's a good thing, Atsui-kun." Before the little fire boy could protest, Hinoyo was already on his way to Atsui's family's hut.

"No, no, no!" Atsui yelled, waving his arms and legs around in Hinoyo's arms. "'Kaasan said I could go out, today! I don't wanna go to bed." He crossed his arms and pouted, glaring off at nothing in cute, youthful annoyance.

Hinoyo let out a giggle at the face he was getting, then pulled his head down and nuzzled Atsui in the belly. "Don't keep your face like that, it'll stick that way!"

Atsui giggled and scrambled his was out of Hinoyo's arms, then gave the demon the hands-on-hips motion and added a warning glare. "I don't want to go to bed and you can't make me!" Sticking his tongue out teasingly, Atsui nodded to what he said in pride.

Hinoyo raised both hands up in surrender and bent down to the boy's height. "Alright, alright. You win, little buddy. How's about I play you a song to make you better, then, mm?"

The young demon grinned and nodded in agreement, then his grin faded when another sneeze came to him, followed by a faint groan.

Hinoyo twisted his mouth a bit at the sight of the poor kid, as far as he was concerned, suffering. Reaching back, he untied the braided string, holding up his lute, then slowly and carefully, rested it comfortably in playing position. "This song's an old folklore tune, Atsui. Meant to give you strength during the cold season. See if you've heard it, before, okay? Called 'Summer's Strength'." He checked the tuning, cleared his throat to get an accented, folkloric sound to his voice then began.

"Summer's gone,
Winds blow cold,
Children hide,
Their mothers bold.

Autumn's fled,
Frost is here,
Its icy hands,
Forbidden near.

Winter's come,
Fires hide,
Those who haven't,
Surely died.

Fear not, lad,
Spring is here,
Love appears,
Full of cheer.

Summer's back,
Loved ones 'round,
Power's strengthened,
Joyous sound.

Flaming Sun,
We're at our peek,
Though fall is near,
We'll soon grow weak.

Be brave, son,
Do not cower,
Summer will return,
Sun rays shower.

Strong and weak,
Health and ill,
We're all different,
Physical, will.

Winter, summer,
Moon, Sun,
Our similarities,
They come.

Fire brightens
Shadowed trail,
Light's our strength,
Our hope, Light hail."

Taking a deep breath, Hinoyo sat down slowly, giving Atsui a fine grin, then a faint blush came to his tanned cheeks when he noticed he'd gained a small circle of listeners from the village. He let out a chuckle, a little embarrassed and a little flattered, then began to strap his lute back on.

"Oh, sing us another song, Hinoyo!" Atsui pleaded, folding his hands together in prayer.

Hinoyo shook his head, "Naah, that's it for today, sparks." A few groans from the small crowd he'd acquired were heard. "Aw, no sad faces, please?" He pouted, "There's a lot more fun around than just singing, you know."

The children nodded and glanced over when Nikko was clapping behind them.

Hinoyo blinked and looked over at the village maiden, then put a grin on his face. "Nikko-chan!" He leapt to his feet and dusted off sloppily.

Nikko was a tall, slender woman. Just a few inches smaller than Hinoyo. She was a sweet girl, a tad below adulthood, usually dressed in the village consort wear. Just the right age to find a husband. Her long, ebony hair was spilled neatly over her shoulders and past her back with a lovely, short fluff of bangs hanging over a golden headband around her forehead. As all her kind have a white streak of hair, her left bangs were pure white, showing off her large crimson eyes.

Smiling sweetly at the lute-playing demon, Nikko took a step closer to him, her robes flowing behind her. Still clapping, the girl's smile widened faintly, reaching her eyes more than before. "That was a lovely song you played, Hinoyo-san."

Blushing, Hinoyo tugged at the string holding his lute to keep his hands busy. "Well.... It's..." he shrugged, lost for words for a brief moment, then continued. "It's not like I made it up myself..."

Nikko giggled at his obvious nervousness and nodded. "You handled the children's needs well, also, Hinoyo-san." Her voice rang out, a pleasant, sweet flow to it. Purity and innocence in her every word.

Looking down, Hinoyo discovered a basket of food in the girl's hands unfortunately covering what he'd wanted a glimpse at. "Oh, let me help you with that, Nikko-chan!" He stepped forward and took the basket, hoping she'd find him gentlemanly.

Nikko nodded and let him take it for her. "I'm taking it down to Hibana-sama. Kaasan said he was ill today and some good, healthy vegetables and bread were always helpful."

Hinoyo nodded, walking alongside the maiden. "Seems lots of people've been getting sick, lately. Little Atsui's just getting over a cold." He shrugged, keeping his pace slow so Nikko could stay close with what heavy garments she had on. His gaze was still at her lap.

"Hinoyo-san? Do you know why these colds are so common?" Nikko blinked her gaze to Hinoyo, him snapping his attention back to her face.

"Mm?" He asked, then blinked and shrugged, "Shows the winter'll be harsh this year. Be sure to bundle up, Nikko-chan!" Hinoyo gave her a little wink and a grin to get her to answer the way he wanted to hear.

"Hai, Hinoyo-san." Nikko closed her eyes, a smile teasing at her lips. "Hinoyo-san?" her voice came again and her gaze turned back to his cheery features. "If I get a cold, too... will you sing for me?" She asked, shyly, a blush tugging at her cheeks.

The demon blinked at her, again. Then sent another grin her way, wider than ever, making his cheeks redden. "Of course, Nikko-chan!" He bowed slightly, "Anything for a pretty maiden like yourself." He said slyly in his thick, deep voice, straightening his posture and giving her a sneaky wink.

Nikko giggled and continued on her way.

~*~

Hina was standing at the edge of a long cliff on the Koorime Island. It was early in the morning and she'd come to watch the sunrise. She had done this every year when the frost had come, to see the star's rays glistening on the clinging frost. It was a lovely sign that winter was coming. Of course, her favorite season.

"Maa, beautiful, ne?"

Hina blinked and turned around to see whom the voice belonged to, seeing Rui. "Rui-chan!" She gave the pale woman a sweet smile and walked over to her. "How are you this morning?"

Rui rolled her shoulder faintly in a shrug. "Same as everyday, I'd suppose." She took a small step past Hina to look over to Makai. "This winter will be a chilly one." She said, mostly to herself. "The frost's come rather early in the autumn."

The younger demoness nodded in agreement. "I had been thinking the same thing. Rui-chan?" She looked up from the scenery below and to Rui's back. "Has a Demon from below… Ever come up here?" She asked, a slight wonder and a slight fear to her voice. After seeing the energy fight last time she looked over the cliffs, she'd become a bit frightened of meeting another species of Demon.

Rui blinked and looked back at Hina, her topknot ponytail blowing in the wind behind her. "Yes." She said, making it sound almost a question, confused at why she'd ask that. "Why do you ask?"

Hina jumped faintly when she heard the answer, not sure if she was delighted or timorous. "I just wanted to know. What would they come here for?"

Rui glared softly. "Hina… That is none of your concern. Why do you persist on asking such questions?" She said in a choleric voice.

"Sorry…" Hina whispered in response, lowering her head. "I'm curious, Rui-chan. Why would another Demon ever come to a place like this? How?"

Rui shook her head, sighing at her inquisitive lover. "The ones that have come in the past have their reasons. It scarcely happens in even centuries. I have only seen one trespasser on this Island in all my years, and let me tell you, Hina… The Koorime will not tolerate such…" She struggled with the word, then went on, "transgression. "

Hina sighed, feeling as though the questions she had been asking were displeasing Rui greatly, which they were. But if she couldn't talk to her best friend and lover about this, who could she go to?

~*~

A month had past and winter was growing closer and closer to the small village in the Makai. The Fire Demons were very sensitive to the winter. Fall was the time for gathering food for storage and clothing and quilts for warmth. The whole village was bustling around, doing their part in preparing for winter as they did every year. The demand for quilts was getting higher as more and more of the village came down with a bug or two. Their skin was of warmer temperatures and thus very vulnerable during the winter and to sicknesses in that time.

Hinoyo and Nikko both hurried to the Elder of the village, needing to request something be done. During this time of the year the Elder, Hibana, was very busy with questions and requests to help things be done quicker. Hinoyo had noticed his usual group of audience kids had been diminishing as more and more had to stay indoors from a terrible cold or whatnot.

"Hibana-sama! Hibana-sama, we must speak with you." Hinoyo called from just outside the Elder's house. Knocking on the door, with Nikko at his side, Hinoyo finally got a response and was welcome to enter. "Arigatou, Hibana-sama. Nikko-chan and I have a request." He said as he helped Nikko in and the two sat down on the floor mats.

"Well, let's hear it." Hibana said, sitting himself up just barely. His long black hair was grayish from his age, a long white streak on both side locks, though that was from his heritage, not age.

Hinoyo nodded and went on, "The children in the village are getting sicker by the day. Nikko-chan and I have been worrying over this for some time… We have enough food to just barely get us through the winter, can't we, please, have more villagers help with the fur hunting and quilt making? Most of the gardens have died by now, anyway."

Hibana rested his chin on the back of his hand in thought. "Barely…. Son…." He said slowly in his old, worn voice, "Being the keyword, there." He sniffed back and cleared his throat, "Having enough food to just barely last us this winter is not enough… Anything could happen, you know, lad. Our food could run out sooner than you think…"

"Well…" Hinoyo blinked, "Well… Well, yes, but what about the children? They're in need of something *now* while we're running around planning for something that won't even happen for--"

Clearing his throat, the Elder began again. "Colds… Are common in the winter, Hinoyo. No one will die from them. Starvation, ah, now… that is something you can die from."

The younger demon chewed his lower lip with his fang, "But, Elder…! We have enough food. Please, Hibana-sama, is not stopping the suffering of the children more important than making sure one of us doesn't have to skip dessert?" He almost yelled but Nikko touched his shoulder to calm him down before he got angry. "Please, Elder! It's not much to ask, we just request more of us help with the quilt making."

"We have our jobs… Every year it's the same." Hibana argued calmly, "A few degrees lower isn't going to change anyone's job around here, child."

Hinoyo argued right back, having a large soft spot for the children in the village. "But, Elder! The children--"

"Do not argue, Hinoyo. Go back to your duties. Take your woman with you." Hibana settled, too tired of requests to care much anymore and sent the two off.

Once Hinoyo and Nikko exited the small house, Hinoyo could finally let out his temper. "What *is* he, that Hibana?! Do the children mean nothing to him!? All he wants is to make sure we all get enough food to get *snacks* through the winter! That's not important, as long as we have a meal, we'll make it." He kicked a rock on his storm home. "Why can't he ever think of the problems at hand?! He never even comes out of that damn house. Maybe if he'd just see the look on the children's faces if *he* was the one who had to tell them--"

Nikko stopped Hinoyo's rush back, pressing a hand to his chest. "Hinoyo-san… Please, try to calm yourself. Hibana-sama means no harm, he's just--"

"A lazy bastard." Hinoyo growled out.

"--busy…" Nikko finished, shooting Hinoyo a scolding face. "We'll help the children with all we can. Don't you worry, they'll keep warm."

The taller demon sighed and nodded, "Okay… I don't see how you women stay so calm in such frustrating situations, though!" He grabbed his long side locks and tugged them harshly in frustration, letting out an irritated growl.

~*~

Later in the week, a council was held at the Elder's home to discuss more preparation.

"We need to get more hunters out in the woods. That will help to solve more of the problem." A male spoke in a young voice from the front, "We'll get our food and we'll get furs as well."

"But what if the meat spoils?" A second argued back, "We need to harvest the crops before they've all died! Animals can wait."

"But what of those animals that hibernate? Those are the ones we really need, and they'll be gone soon."

Hinoyo sat back, not sure what to add to the council for any help, then a thought struck him that seemed of more importance than the food. "Friends, we've been arguing about food preparation for days! What of the other problems, eh?" He yelled out in his baritone voice to get attention. "Have you all not noticed this winter's been colder than ever? It's going to be a harsh one. That's for sure. Shouldn't we be more prepared for the cold than starvation?"

"I agree!" Someone from the back added, "My boy and wife have both come down with something, and I've noticed other villagers in the same mess. We must note the problems at hand before thinking of something so far into the future."

"Ah, but if we spend time on making blankets and clothing there won't be any food left to collect! Quilts can be made later, food spoils!"

The argument continued for what seemed hours. Hinoyo started to wish the women of the village were allowed in the council. He knew better than any man a woman's mind is a powerful thing. Men had the strength; women had the mind. That's why together they made such a perfect pair. Damn, he wanted to just leave and go see Nikko.

When the council was over nothing was decided. Half was for food while the other was for warmth. Next council Hinoyo promised to make sure something was actually settled.

It was dark on the walk home from the Elder's house. Hinoyo cursed not bringing warmer clothing the moment the cold darkness hit him. That was exactly why he requested clothing and blankets be made sooner. Crossing his exposed arms over his equally bare chest, only a thick vest to keep his torso warm, he hurried home. "Che, it's freezing out here…" He whispered to himself in a stuttered voice.

Hinoyo returned home quickly after doing a quick check up on the children. The village was small and everyone was friends or family, half the youngsters, most probably, being his little brothers or sisters for all he knew. So he and everyone else were very accustomed to seeing neighbors in their own homes.

He walked his way through the beaded doorway and into the dark hut. "Nikko-chan, you still up?" He rubbed his arms with his hands and grabbed a blanket to wrap around himself. Seeing his breath in front of him made him realize just how cold it really was in his house. "Damn, winter's barely started. Wonder how the storm of it will be, ne?" He said partly to Nikko, partly to the air. "Nikko-chan?" He blinked after the lack of response from the girl. Shrugging, he walked over into his and Nikko's bedroom and plopped himself down on the cushy bed.

Hinoyo turned to his side, Nikko was resting right beside him. He blinked when he noticed she didn't have a blanket on. "Silly girl!" He chuckled and covered her still form with the blanket he'd used, then got up to find another. "You'd think if she was going to get some rest she'd at least get a blanket." He shook his head and hustled back to the small bed. //… So much for women being the brains in our society…// He thought jokingly.

He slowly took off his garnished vest and tossed it to the floor. Rolling back on his side to look at Nikko's peaceful face, he smiled, then leaned over to plant a kiss on her forehead. "Good night, Nikko-cha--" Blinking, he pulled away to look at the girl. "Golly, you're freezing!" He shook his head and pressed a hand to Nikko's cheek, then pulled away. "Is it really that cold out?" He glanced over at the window and sighed, seeing it open. "Well, that'll do it, now won't it?" He got up again and walked over to the window. Hinoyo glanced out the window, then closed it tightly, locking it shut. "Might as well lock it. Won't be opening it anytime soon." He then glanced over to the beaded doorway entrance to the hut and groaned, "Better get a *real* door on that frame, and soon."

He hopped back to the bed and jumped in, thinking to be playful and wake Nikko up. He didn't want her sleeping in such a cold state, anyway. Seemed fine to wake her up and get her blood moving faster. "Nikko-chan!" He shook her shoulder when she didn't move, "Nikko-chan, come on! Wake up."

Nikko remained silent, obviously not wanting to get up to play with him. "Nikko-chaaan…" Hinoyo pouted, "Play with me!" He jumped up on the bed again, not too sleepy anymore, anyway. "You're being no fun, I know you're awake! Little light sleeper, don't try and beat me." When she didn't even stir he put a confused face on and stopped jumping. Bending down on both hands and knees, he leaned over her, partly wanting her to play, partly wanting her to stay asleep so she didn't see him crawling over her and think he was trying to attain something different.

"Nikko-chan, stop playing around, this isn't very funny anymore…" He pouted and made a little fake sniffle. Leaning over her a bit more, crawling on the bed looking very feline, he nuzzled her neck with his spiky black hair and then looked at her with large almond-shaped eyes. "Nikko-chan? Please wake up?" He pouted, then lost his playful look and raised an eyebrow. "Nikko-chan?"

Starting to find something very wrong, Hinoyo touched her skin again to see just how cold it really was. He hissed back a bit and recoiled his arm. "Blazes, girl! You're like the snow!" He exclaimed, then suddenly a thought crossed his mind. His eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat, slowly increasing by the seconds.

The Fire Demon leaned down and pressed his pointed ear to Nikko's breast. After listening for a few seconds he suddenly got chills. "Nikko-chan…?" Quickly snapping back into action he grabbed as many blankets as he could and covered the girl up with each one. He eyed the nightgown she had on. "Thin… Much too thin. Damn you, woman! Wear warmer clothes…" He snarled, not sure if he was one to talk with his strutting around in a vest.

He wrapped Nikko up with all the blankets he could get at, shuffling them closer and closer to her so as to keep her warm. "Come on Nikko-chan… Warm up. Fast." He got a glare to his eyes, almost a snarl from frustration. "Damn, girl, warm *up*!" He said angrily.

Getting too frustrated, his temper failing him, he ripped all the blankets off Nikko and fell on top of her, hugging around her upper body. "Nikko-chan…" He whispered, his voice a higher pitch than usual, blinking his eyes when they started to sting.

~*~

A loud slam against Hibana's door was heard, loud enough to wake the village. It sounded again and again until Hibana glared off to the door and waved a hand to it, "Come in. Stop that racket."

The door was kicked and slid open, then Hinoyo dashed in, panting slightly, glaring like mad, Nikko in his arms. "Bastard!"

Hibana blinked and sat up from his bed, "What is the meaning of this, Hinoyo?"

"Don't give me that clueless look!" The younger Demon spat, lowering Nikko down to the ground slowly, then pointed a shaky finger at her body, keeping his eyes glued to the Elder. "You! I told you we needed more quilts and warmer clothes, did I not?!" He growled out. "Get over here…"

Hibana decided it best not to anger the man further and got up, walking over to Hinoyo. "Yes…?" He glanced down at Nikko, "What--"

Hinoyo snarled and sat down next to Nikko, motioning for Hibana to as well, and he obeyed. "Nikko-chan! Listen to her heart."

Hibana looked Hinoyo in the eyes, noticing the tears streaming down from them and his face got a shocked look as if he knew what Hinoyo was trying to say. He did as Hinoyo ordered and pressed a pointed ear to the Demoness' heart.

Hibana's eyes widened and he pulled away quickly, rubbing at his ear, "Flaming Sun! She's--"

Hinoyo snarled deadly at the Elder, "Did I not tell you we needed warmer quilts and clothing!? Touch her skin, she's practically frozen! She told me she was going to help the other women watch the children while we were at council! If that freezing walk home didn't kill her, the hut did. This whole village might as well be in ice, damn it!" He shouted, slamming a fist on the wooden floor.

The Elder looked at Hinoyo in shock. Hinoyo did say they needed warmer outfits to be made, but the Elder didn't know he was so serious. "I'm terribly sorry, Hi--"

Interrupting the older one, Hinoyo's mind wandered just slightly enough for him to remember another important issue. "The children…" He whispered out, his voice already too racked with sobs to be very understandable.

"What?" Hibana asked, not quite hearing the sobbing voice, but before he could do anything more, Hinoyo had already got to his feet and ran out the door. Hibana let out a sigh and looked down to Nikko, brushing an old finger up and down her icy cheek, wincing at how cold it was. "I'm sorry, lass… Had I only known that wag was so serious…" He shook his head and got into the proper position for pray. "Had I only known…"

~*~

Hinoyo raced down the small streets to the first house he came across with any children in it. He skidded on the ice just a bit, then turned around and burst in the door. He was lucky his mind let him remember this was his old house, so his brothers and sisters would be warned earlier. "Mr. and Mrs. Hinode!" He called loudly, sure to be loud enough to wake them up, anyway.

"What *is* all this racket, you silly boy?" A woman called, shuffling her way down the small hall, a man, her husband, right behind her. "Ah, Hino-chan! Come for a visit? But at such an ungodly hour, I thought we taught you bett--" She blinked in mid sentence and looked around the small room for her oldest son. "Hino-chan?" She looked up and at her husband, and he simply motioned to the children's room.

"Ahh." She nodded, shrugged softly, then started back down the hall. "Tell us if you need anything, Hino-chan! We'll be right here in our room." She finished, fading off on a soft mumble about how he barely visits.

"Blankets would be nice, mother! Lots! Please!" He called, walking into the children's room and seeing they were all sleeping safe and sound, wrapped up nicely in their little blankets. "More than what they have on." Hinoyo finished.

"Hinoyo Hinode, if there is one thing I'd think you remembered about this old place it's where the blankets are, silly boy. Never *could* get you out of them… And look at you now! Strutting around with nothing but a vest and some thin pants. Get a shirt on, Sunny. Right this instant!" Hinoyo's mother snapped, knowing she was being ignored, though.

Hinoyo shuffled around for some blankets and ran back over to each child, planting a soft kiss on each's forehead when he finished wrapping them up. "Good Night, Hare, Sleep tight Nichi, Pleasant dreams Botsu." He said to each, then smiled at his work and walked out of the room. "I'll be off now, mother! Father!" Before they could answer he hurried out of the hut and started to force his tears away before he had to walk into another hut with wet cheeks.

~*~

Hinoyo made it back to the Elder's hut, forcing himself to smile whenever he'd visit a neighbor's house. Not wanting them to think anything amiss. The moment he stepped into the hut, his face grew cold again. Such a rare thing on Hinoyo. He walked over to the Elder and when his eyes settled on Nikko they misted over again.

Snarling faintly, Hinoyo knelt down to the still body, keeping his glare glued on Hibana. "Bastard. Why didn't you listen to me earlier?!" He roared, grabbing Nikko and pressing her icy form to his chest, wincing at the cold on his bare skin.

Hibana remained silent. Sure anything he said would have made no effect on Hinoyo's anger.

The younger Demon never expected Hibana to answer him. He pulled himself to his feet, Nikko in arms, and headed towards the slide-in door. "I hope you have pleasant dreams, Hibana-sama." He snarled out coldly and left to head back to his hut. With Nikko.

Once reaching his home, he carried the girl into their room, into their bed, and sunk down on his knees into the cushion. Hugging Nikko to him in a tight hug, Hinoyo ran his fingers through her lengthy black hair. He kept his eyes glued to the wall across from him, almost in a daze. While rocking Nikko and himself back and forth he found himself humming a familiar tune. The Demon wasn't quite sure, nor did he care, what song he was humming, but when it hit him as to what it was more tears filled his eyes. His vision was so blocked he was lucky he could make out what color the walls were.

Small memories came back to his thoughts within seconds. Nikko's voice rang through his mind, sweeter than ever. //…"Hinoyo-san? If I get a cold, too… will you sing for me?"…// He remembered her say. //… "Of course, Nikko-chan! Anything for a pretty maiden like yourself."…// Was his answer. His strong arms held their grasp on Nikko a bit tighter, a bit closer to him, and his tear-choked voice was cleared as best it could as the song he'd promised flowed out. "Summer's gone, Winds blow cold, Children hide, Their mothers bold. Autumn's fled, Frost is here, Its icy hands, Forbidden near. Winter's come, Fires hide, Those who haven't…" His voice cracked a moment, it became tear-choked once again, "…Surely died…"

After getting that far he found it harder and harder to continue. The next verse was known for it's cheering essence, but he just couldn't get it together to even murmur the words. He knew that was the part that Nikko loved the most, though. The strength of the song was in the later verses. The beginning just told the story.

"I'm sorry, Nikko-chan…" He whispered, his baritone voice still cracked and choked. "I can't continue. I promise I will… I promise I will when…" He gulped, not sure he even knew when. He trailed out of the sentence and onto a new one. "Please, let me mourn first… Please…?" Hinoyo whispered, pulling the girl into an even tighter embrace.

~*~

Hina was out on one of her walks. Rui was too busy to come along, so she ventured off alone. It wasn't as if the woods were dangerous. No Demon dared come upon the Koorime Island. She was headed off to the cliffs again. She wanted to see the colors of the Makai once more.

She was just a ways away from the cliffs of the Island when she saw something in the woods. It was most probably a small fox or rabbit. She loved playing with the animals of the woods, so she shuffled in her kimono over to the animal. "Konichiwa!" She called cheerfully, then stepped lightly into the small clearing where she had seen the dark figure.

When she saw what it was she was ready to scream but calmed herself enough to not. She'd scream if she was in danger and nothing was wrong just yet. Besides, whatever he was must be more scared of her, than her of him. Hina's body trembled with fear, but she tried to overcome it and knelt down in the snow. "Hello…?" She whispered in her angelic voice.

Slowly he opened his eyes, blinking a bit to clear his fogged vision and looked at Hina who jumped a bit in response. "An angel… I'm dead, then."

Hina blinked, then giggled and shook her head. He seemed friendly enough so far. But then again, he was a Demon. And he was most certainly not from the Island. "I'm not an angel, you silly man. And you are not dead. What are you doing here? This is the Koorime Island."

He blinked and sat up weakly, "I made it?" he asked. When Hina nodded her head he looked like he wanted to jump for joy, but couldn't in such conditions.

"Oh!" Hina noted his shivering, "Are you cold…?"

The man pointed to the snow falling, "Is it snowing?" He asked dryly. The Koorime only nodded. "Then yes, I'm cold."

Hina giggled, then looked around as if she could find something to cover him with. He seemed covered enough, she couldn't imagine why he'd be cold. Strong pants, boots, admittedly a vest was rather weak for a torso cover, but he had a nice thick blanket and even a jacket to cover himself. How could he be cold? Then again, she was an Ice Demoness. He probably would be colder than she thought possible.

"I'm sorry, I have nothing to cover you with me. I could go to the village and fetch something for you." She smiled, wondering if he'd even accept anything as feminine as the coverings her village had.

The man shook his head in response, "I'd much rather have a name." He said, then met her eyes.

Hina blushed, then nodded, "Of course! How very rude of me, I'm sorry. I'm Hina." She looked at him with a questioning face. He automatically understood the look and nodded, knowing she was asking for his in return.

"Hinoyo Hinode." He answered, facing her again.

~*~

A few weeks before it was a day after Hinoyo found Nikko's body. There was a funeral being held. A large pile of sticks set in the middle of the town, her body placed at the top in traditional fashion. Some of the villagers stepped forward and pressed their hands to the bottom of the pile at each side they were assigned. A few others were to play the burial song and once the delicate music started up the Firestarters raised their hands, the fire following them, and danced to the weary tune of the song.

It was the traditional funeral ceremony. Being chosen as one of the Firestarters was quiet an honor, they would dance beautifully around the funeral, creating swirls and designs in the fire. Flame would intertwine flame, dancer would pass dancer, and the ceremony went on.

"Hino-chan…?" A voice called from behind Hinoyo. He gave a sign he heard her, but he kept his eyes on the flames. "Are you going to be okay?" The woman stepped next to him, being his mother.

A simple shake of the head was the quick answer.

She nodded and backed off, just wanting to see if her son would make it through this. "I'll leave you alone, then…"

Hinoyo shook his head, then turned to look back at his parent. "Wait." She did so. "You don't have to."

A weak smile came to her lips and she stepped back over to him, remaining silent, though. It was obvious he wanted company, but it was just as obvious he didn't want a conversation. He just didn't want to watch a ceremony like that without someone close to him.

A few days after the ceremony, Hinoyo, as well as, now, more than half of the villagers had feelings even stronger for finding warmth for the village. A council was held and even Hibana was for getting warmer coverage.

It was past the time for harvesting now, so getting coverings was going to be the majority vote. But how to do it? Blankets and warm clothing usually got them through the winter. Just barely. And that winter was coming colder than ever, they could all feel it in the air. The air…

Hinoyo looked up at the sky. //… The snow must come from somewhere…// He thought. His kind never studied the snow. Too cold for their likings to trifle with. It fell, it clung, it was cold, it melted. That was all they needed to know. Suddenly a thought stuck him. //…The Koorime Island!…// He decided to speak up. "Everyone… The Koorime Island--" The moment 'Koorime' was spoke the council gasped, but he continued on, "--does the snow come from there?" He blinked, wondering.

A few murmurs were heard among the people, some nods, some negative looks. Either way, everyone knew where he was going with this, already.

"What if… What if one of us were to visit the Island?" More gasps from the crowd sounded. No Fire Demon had ever set foot on such a place to their knowledge. "Seriously, friends. They're in the sky with that floating Island of theirs. They're Ice Demonesses. Don't they have some sort of say in the weather during winter? Can't they…?"

The council did agree with him on that. The Koorime must have something to do with the amount of snow that fell. The degrees of temperature. That was the only reasonable explanation, right? The only they could think up.

After much conversations, debates, arguments, they came to a conclusion. One of them would have to go to the Koorime and see for themselves. Ask if what they thought really was true, and if so… Beg they lessen the harshness that winter would cause them. But who would go? A group, or one alone?

"I say a group. It's safer. 'Sides, those Koorime, I hear…. Nasty bitches, they are. They're cruel ones." One spoke out with his opinion. "Who knows what they'll do?"

Some nodded, others looked disbelieving. "Oh, come now. It's an Island of pretty women. Isn't a man here who doesn't want to go!" One laughed, "They couldn't possibly do much. They're only women, and if they do start anything up, we'll melt their icy attitudes."

"Mm… Ice or Fire… Melting or Extinguishing… Who would win?" Hibana thought out loud, running his fingers through his long, thin beard.

"I say one go." Hinoyo said, slapping his knee to get attention. "One alone. If they don't return, we know not to send another. If we send a group, it would be a waste. If the Koorime don't take kindly to us, it's a whole village against, what? Four or five men? If they are dangerous, losing one would be a lot better than losing a larger number, don't you say?"

"I second that." A man nodded.

"I third it." Another said.

Hinoyo noticed a few still disbelieving, so he continued on, "One could go, talk to them, reasonably…" At the last word he eyed a few of the bullies in the town, then continued, "If they answer to our liking, all is well. If they don't take kindly to us, well… Flaming Sun, it's better than losing a group, do you agree?"

The majority nodded. Some still seemed unsettled with the conversation, but there would always be those ones in the corner of a council. Nothing could be done about that. Now all that was left was to decide who…

"Whose to go, though?" Hibana asked, raising a hand out in question, namely to Hinoyo. He started the topic, after all.

"I'll go." Someone from the back said.

Hinoyo recognized him as quite the loud bachelor and gave him a funny look, "You? With a town of lovelies?" The crowd laughed a bit, even the lecher did. Hinoyo looked back to Hibana, the head of the council. "Whoever goes should be well suited for the task,"

"Someone of lesser importance." Someone called out, "Ones with the lower jobs aren't as necessary for survival as others…"

Hinoyo disagreed, shaking his head. "No. That wouldn't be fair to throw someone to the bitches because their talents are of less importance." He looked back to Hibana, though talking to the whole group. "I say it should be someone good with debating. If the Koorime argue, shouldn't it be a man who could talk them into agreement?"

Again, the crowd agreed with Hinoyo, but instead of their usual look back to the Elder, their eyes stayed on him.

He blinked. "A--As well as someone willing for the job." He added quickly. "Again, as I said…. throwing someone to the bitches isn't fair if they truly fear in going."

The eyes stayed on Hinoyo.

With a roll of the eyes, not a word need be said, Hinoyo knew exactly where they were all getting at. It's not as if anyone would be willing for the job anyway. He threw his arms up in defeat and let out an explosive sigh, "Alright! Keep your eyes to yourself, I see where you're all getting at…"

"Hinoyo, not to be forcing, but you are good at debates." One said with a weak, apologetic smile.

Hinoyo nodded, and another spoke up. "Besides, you're good with the ladies." He smirked playfully and laughed when a blush came to the said Demon. Calming his laughter, he continued, "Good with the ladies, great at reasoning, not to mention, if you can still walk around this town in a vest, you'll be better off than any of us in that hypothermic Island."

Hinoyo nodded weakly, sighing. //…Ahh, they're all against me. Better to just give in, Hinoyo, my friend. Never tell what your friends'll do to you. Just watch them tie you up and torture you until you agree to it… How pleasant…// Groaning, he raised both hands up and nodded again, weakly. "Alright, alright… I'll go."

Hibana smiled, seemingly happy with Hinoyo's giving in so easily.

"But I swear to you, if I make it back and you've all--" Hinoyo pouted.

"Don't *worry*, my friend." One spoke with a sly, yet hearty smile, "You'll make it back and we'll all be just the same. Don't get your ninnies in a bunch."

He sighed and nodded and the Elder called council over.

Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimers Apply!!!!!!
Me be: Xenia-chan deeeesu!
Type: Random comic fluff! ^_^
Warning: Yaoi! Not too much, though. *lying smirk*
Series: Lots. Well, three. GW, YYH, and FY!
Dedicated to: Leta-san!
Reason: You seemed so sad in that e-mail you sent about the sleepover. Let all these bishis cheer you up!
Notes: Be afraid… Insanity on the way.
C&C: Welcome!

~<>~ Inconceivable Schizophrenic Mental Infirmity ~<>~

Five shadowed figures stood alone in a dark room. Confused at how they got there, as well as why they were there in the first place, they all began to look around for a way out.

"Eh!? There are no doors in this room!" One cried out in a voice obviously near panic, but luckily he knew to keep calm in situations such as these.

"He's right." Another settled, though continued to search for an escape. "Not a door or window in here."

The next pulled out a matchbox from his enlarged pockets and lit a match to see what was around him. "Yep. But how'd we get in there? We've been in here for what, thirty minutes? I don't feel any thinning of the air yet. Do you? Hopefully it'll last long." He said, his long braid waving behind him as he turned around, letting the match light every corner of the strange place.

"Hn."

"Injustice!!!" Another cried, drawing his sword. "This is shear injustice! Ranma ½ was about to start." He glared around at the faces of the other boys, then settled his gaze on the one with the match. "Maxwell... Somehow I know this is all your fault."

"MY fault?!" The one called 'Maxwell' squeaked. "How is this MY fault, Wu-man?! It's just as much mine as it is yours, this time!"

The Chinese boy looked utterly shocked at being blamed, even slightly, for this mishap. "Why you annoying little--"

He was soon cut off by the seemingly leader of the small group. "Listen, you two. Stop screaming so loudly."

"Yes!" A blonde piped up. "Shouting so loudly won't get us anywhere, now will it?"

"Actually, Quatre, I meant they're using up the air with their big mouths." He informed.

"Th…That, too." Quatre nodded, blinking a bit.

The two arguing gawked at their 'leader' then glared. "We're not using up all the air--"

"Well you're giving me a headache none the less, so shut up." The brown haired boy argued and there was a silence. Some wondering if it was loss for words, some wondering if they were just planning a way out, others wondering if it was just Trowa's turn to speak. Whatever it was, they all shut up.

"…."

"I know, Trowa." Quatre nodded in agreement. "We'll get out soon."

"….."

"Oh! Trowa, I'm sure we'll be out by then." Quatre assured, the others ignoring the odd conversation, thinking it everyday normality.

"……"

The blonde's cheeks lit up a bright shade of red. "Trowa, you're so naughty!"

"Whoa, whoa, get a room, you two!!!" The braided one shouted. "At least me and Heero are patient, this time."

Heero glared, blushing a bit. "This time…!?"

"Remember that time-- OW!" The Chinese boy whapped the braided one with the flat of his sword. "What was that for, Wufei!? God…." He started rubbing his head where he was whapped.

"Idiots. All of you," Wufei re-sheathed his sword and sat down Indian style, looking like he was getting ready for some serious meditation.

Suddenly a shout came from behind the group. Four shouts, actually. Then a few thumps as if something hitting the floor. None of them recalled the voices being familiar, but they all definitely settled on the fact that there were more people in the group. Thrown in by the sound of it.

The voices sounded young, at least they were around the same age as the first group, anyway. All males, by the sound of it. One sounded rather normal, but rather flippant as well. The next sounded… well… loud. Shrieky, mostly. Annoying. The third was feminine, an intellectual side to it definitely showed, while the last was baritone, deep and dark.

The braided boy leapt to his feet and ran over to see if he could find a door anywhere. The new group must've came in from somewhere, right? But he soon gave up when there was nothing. Shrugging, the knelt down with his match to get a good look at the group.

"Now, don't panic, guys. We're trained professionals, we'll get you out of here safe and sound once…. we… find a…. Hee-chan, this one has three eyes!"

Heero blinked and stared at Duo with a funny look. "What…?" He glanced at the match's light, where the new group was and just recuperating from the fall in and sweatdropped. "Oi, baka. It must just be Halloween, that's only a kid."

Duo shrugged, nodded, then screamed when the 'kid' stood up and drew his katana. "H-hey, little guy, someone your age shouldn't be carrying around a weapon like that…!" He said in a panicked tone.

"And why not?! You've got a gun in your belt, baka ningen! And I'm older than--"

The redhead in the group grabbed the sanjiyan by the shoulders and starts messaging them slowly. "Hiei, please calm down… they don't know… I know this is an odd position to be in but, please… for me?"

"But--…. Mm….." Hiei rolled his shoulder with the message, closing his eyes and smiling/smirking in satisfaction. "But he's a baka… ninge….Nnn…. Mm…."

"Oi oi oi!!! Kurama, Hiei, make-out why don't ya?!" The black haired delinquent yelled.

Kurama stopped messaging and pouted. "Well, sorry Yusuke. Did you want him ripping that poor kid's face apart!?" He pointed to Duo, keeping his gaze on Yusuke.

"Yeah, Yusuke. It's not like you and Kuwabara haven't done it in public eith--" Hiei was cut short when Yusuke jumped to his feet and covered his tiny mouth.

"Th-that was just for Truth or Dare!!" He yelped out, sweatdropping and laughing nervously. "NE?!"

Hiei smirked under Yusuke's hand and shrugged. "In your dreams…" He tried to muffle out.

"What did he say?" Duo blinked, still a little freaked out by the Sanjiyan with a sword.

"NOTHING!" Kuwabara shouted out, backing up Yusuke. "Who are you…?"

"Me…?" Duo grinned and rubbed his hands together. //…I've been waiting for this!…// "I am the undertaker! The grim reaper! SHINIGAMI DEEEESU--ITAI!!!!"

Heero slammed his gun onto Duo's head and jerked a thumb at him, looking at the new group. "Duo." he pointed to himself. "Heero." Pointing to the other boys, he named them also. "Trowa, Quatre, Wufei."

Yusuke nodded and pointed him himself. "I'm Yusuke Urameshi. That's Kazuma Kuwabara. Kurama. And this is Hiei." He thought for a second, then continued. "Don't call him a kid."

Hiei glared at the group in warning at what Yusuke said and the five boys nodded nervously.

"Do any of you know why we're here?" Kurama piped up. "Or HOW we got here?"

Wufei opened his eyes after trying hard to meditate and failing. "We've been trying to figure that out for the past half-hour." He stopped, then continued. "Two minutes and 45 seconds."

Hiei rolled his eyes, growling. "The incompetence ningen produce!!!" He stormed his way over to a wall and started feeling around for a door.

Heero shrugged and started helping Hiei, though he knew there was probably no way out.

Hiei glanced at Heero, raised an eyebrow at the ningen's shortness and silence, then smirked to himself. "Hn."

Heero glanced at Hiei. "Hn."

The Fire Demon's eyes lit up and his smirk grew wider. "Hn hn hn?"

The Gundam pilot nodded. "Hnnn…."

Pointing to the ceiling and raising an eyebrow, Hiei continued. "Hn hn..?"

Heero followed Hiei's pointing and looked to the ceiling. "Hnn? Hn!" He nodded and helped Hiei get onto his shoulders to check the roof for some way out.

Kurama stared at the bizarre conversation, then pulled out his "Hn Translator" to check what they were saying.

"Eh!? There's no ceiling!" Hiei roared, "Where the hell's the top!?"

Heero blinked and bent down so Hiei could get off his shoulder, then Kuwabara approached them and they both looked up.

"No ceiling!? Baka shrimps! You're both about 5 feet tall, of course you can't reach!" He shoved them both aside and started feeling around.

Hiei cursed under his breath, as did Heero and they both stormed off to their koibitios.

"EH?!" Kuwabara shrieked. "There IS no ceiling!!"

"We could always try that human ladder thing, Kuwabara." Yusuke added in to helping.

"NO WAY, Urameshi!" The orange haired man protested. "The last time you tried that--"

"I think it's a good idea." Kurama nodded, anything to get the chance to have his head between Hiei's legs again.

"Aa, I agree, too." The Jaganshi added with a smirk, anything to get Kurama's head between his legs again.

Kuwabara was outnumbered, sighed and bent over. "Fine…" he said in a voice of defeat. "Go on…."

Yusuke cheered in the background as Kurama leapt onto Kuwabara's shoulders and Hiei onto Kurama's. Of course Hiei was on top. He never had any doubts he'd be on top.

Yusuke stood behind Kuwabara, Kurama and Hiei and then made a running jump, stomped onto Kuwabara's back, then Kurama's, then Hiei's and rocketed off to grab the ceiling. "ALMOST-- GOT IT!" Yusuke shouted as he grabbed onto the ceiling, feeling a chain-like thing up there, holding a trapped door closed. "Eh? What the hell is this…?" He blinked as he struggled to keep his hold on the chain.

Hiei and Kurama both fell off of the tower when Yusuke stomped onto them, then looked up.

"There's really a ceiling…?" Heero blinked, then glared, cursing his height.

"Just gotta flip this latch and…. eh…?" A sound like a door opening came from where Yusuke's voice was. "AAH!" His scream followed as he fell down to the ground, a new group of victims with him. "Itai, itai, itai!"

"Mou, itai!" A familiar voice groaned and rolled over, rubbing his back a bit. "Eh..? Miaka..? WHERE'S MIAKA!?"

Duo blinked. "Hee-chan!?"

"What?" Heero looked at Duo in confusion.

Duo lit a match again to see the new visitors and saw a boy with blue green hair. "Eh? Who are you?"

The boy mentioned looked up at Duo, "Eh? T…Tamahome… You? Have any money? OW!" Tamahome rubbed his head after getting a collision with a metal fan on his head.

"Tama no BAKA! Besides, if they had any money it'd be MINE!" A flaming haired bandit cried out.

Duo blinked. "Hee-chan! Tama-what's-his-name sounds just like YOU!"

Heero blushed, then glared. "He does NOT!"

Tamahome glared, too, "My voice is my voice! NOT his!"

Duo's eyes got swirling and he backed away. "Too much Hee-chan…."

Kurama added his share into the 'greeting' "Ko…nichiwa… Or is it Ohayo? Konban wa?"

"Urusai, baka kitsune!!! Just finish up." Hiei glared and got a few gasps from the new crowd over his appearance. "It's an EYE! A THIRD EYE! GET OVER IT!!! And I'm not a kid! And you're all stupid ningen! DIE! IN SLOW AND PAINFUL WAY--"

"I'm Kurama!" Kurama butted in nervously to shut Hiei up. "That's Hiei. Yusuke, Kuwabara." He looked at the Gundam pilots to see if he remembered the names correctly. "Hee…ro. Duo. Quatre… Trowa… and…."

"Wufei." Wufei glared, then closed his eyes again to TRY and meditate.

"Yes, Wufei." Kurama nodded and looked at Tamahome. "You all….?"

Tamahome took a deep breath. "Weeell….. Tamahome, Hotohori, Nuriko, Tasuki, Chichiri, Mitsukake and Chiriko!"

Kurama blinked.

"And Nakago." A deep voice rang in from a corner. The seven just mentioned by Tamahome screamed, pulled out whatever weapons they had and started beating the blonde general senseless.

"FINALLY!" Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei all yelled happily and jumped into the fight, leaving the G-boys and Kurama sweatdropping.

Nakago let out one last agonizingly long yell of pain and slow-coming death, then dropped like a sack, dead.

[Insert Cheers Here.]

"Okay." Nuriko said, dusting off with a grin. "Sooo…. Reason for being here? Anyone?"

"Well…" A tall, new man responded in a thick, sexy voice. "It IS a dark room."

Hiei blinked and turned to look behind him as he felt a sly hand run up his back. "Oreeeeheh…heh….heh…" He sweatdropped, backed away a few inches, then jumped behind Heero. "TAKE HIM! HIM!"

Heero blinked and looked at the new guy, noticed long, flowing, silver hair, a voice much like Trowa's and… Fox ears and a tall? What the hell?

Nuriko blinked at the foxes 'response' then grinned. "Yeah… It is pretty dark in here…Don't you agree, Hotohori-sama…?" Nuriko licked his lips and slid sly hands between the young emperor's waist.

Hotohori sweatdropped, sighed, shrugged, and gave in. "Yes. Dark."

"I agree!" Duo chirped and jumped onto Heero, not only harassing the poor Gundam pilot but also taking Hiei's human shield away.

The Sanjiyan yelped and started to run before Kuwabara lifted him up by his tanktop. "OI! Let me DOWN you stupid Ningee--heh… heh…. " He sweatdropped again as the Youko moved forward, thanked Kuwabara and took the Jaganshi for his own. "OI! NOT NOW! You sick TWISTED whoring PERVER--Mmmm..… AaahhhHHHH!!! KURAMA STOP! Seriously now, put me dow--nn…Nnmmm… Ooohh, Kura….Mmm….."

All the lovers in the crowd shrugged and did the same to their own little Uke, straight men just ignored it, finding it totally normal, and Mitsukake covered Chiriko's eyes.

"OI!! BAKA BISHOUNEN!"

Suddenly they all froze and looked up. "Eh…?" They all said at once.

"No one said you were supposed to enjoy this!!!" The voice continued from wherever that really high ceiling came from. "No dirty stuff, boys! You all know what you're here for!"

The horde of sexy men (and Chiriko and Kuwabara) sweatdropped and looked up in question. "Eh…?"

The female voice echoed down again. "Damn men and their freakishly small memories!! Remember the thing we all practiced?! Do it!"

"Sex?" The tall, silver Youko asked, one ear drooped, cutely. "But we only practiced that privatl--"

"BAKA YAROOO!!" The voice screamed. "The thing for Leta!!!"

Hiei's nose wrinkled in confusion, then he blinked and stared up, with all three eyes. "XENIA?!"

"The one and only, babe!" The girlish voice giggled out.

"Babe…?" Hiei raised an eyebrow and reached for his bandage round his right arm.

Kurama blinked, then ran over and started messaging the Koorime's shoulders again to calm him down.

The girl laughed evil, then continued. "Just do the song! She's sad about the sleepover! CHEER UP TIME, GET TO IT! HOP HOP!!!"

All the bishounen (and Chiriko and Kuwabara) blinked, then snapped into it, getting a few "Oh yeah's!" and "I remember now's" out of the group.

Hiei snarled in disgust, "You never said we had to actually sing it, Xenia!"

"Yes I did. You're just so short, the words must've flew over your head instead of to your ears!" The girl started laughing at her own pathetic joke.

Hiei glared up to the ceiling. "Baka!!! YOU. ARE. SHORTER. THAN. ME!!!!"

The girl suddenly stopped laughing and a snarl was heard. "Listen, little man, You may be taller, but I have the keyboard! I can make you or anyone else do whatever I want them to! I KNOW how to write a lemon!"

Hiei shrugged, not at all scared. "So?! You've only written lemons with me and Kurama! Bring it on, I'm on for some fun!"

Xenia glared down at him, then smirked, a cruel twist to her sound, "You say that now, but remember, Kuwabara's in the room."

A shriek was heard from the orange haired moron while Hiei's face turned crimson, "WHAT?! ME AND THAT STUPID NINGEN?!"

"ME AND THE SHIRMP?!" Kuwabara screamed as well.

"ME AND NO HIEI?!" Kurama butted in, shocked as well.

"See how much horror you've caused to yourself and others, Hiei? Shame… tsk… shame." Xenia said.

"But you're the one threatening!" Hiei protested.

Quickly, Xenia grabbed the keyboard and started typing, an evil gleam in her eyes.

"Eh?" Hiei's face paled. "What? What are you doing?! PUT THE KEYBOARD DOWN!!! NO!!! XENIA!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE STOP HER!!!"

"NOT SO SMART NOW, ARE YOU, LITTLE PUPPET?! MWA HAH HAH!!!" Xenia laughed maniacally, leaving the poor Demon in both fear and confusion.

"Puppet…?" He stopped panicking for a moment, blinked, then shrugged and continued running around in a panic, stopped, then jumped up into the silver Youko's arms, glomping his neck. "Don't think you're lucky, Kurama, just protect me for a minute, that bitch is scary with a keyboard…"

Kurama shrugged, happy with his position.

"HA!" Xenia's voice came again when the keys stopped being typed so quickly. "Two more seconds and you'll be in utter HELL, HIEI!!! NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF AN ELF WITH A KEYBOARD! DA HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!"

"Well," Hiei shrugged, "At least she didn't laugh like--"

Xenia continued "OOOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!"

"AUGH!" Hiei covered his ears, "URUSAI!!!!"

The other bishounen covered their ears as well, all except poor Kurama who had his hands busy with holding the Jaganshi.

"Okay, shutting up." The psycho elf girl said, stopping her laughing in seconds. "Now, for TORTURE! Pay foul bratty demon spawn!!!!"

Hiei pouted up at the ceiling "bratty?!--Ah--Ah hah hah! What the--" Hiei looked at Kurama who was gliding his fingers skillfully up and down the fire demon's sides. "Kura--ahahaha!! Kurama, stop!!"

"Can't, baby!" The Youko blinked, "The keyboard's making me!"

Hiei continued laughing, then started squirming to get free, "Let me go, Kurama!!!"

"Can't! Keyboard agai--" suddenly the Youko dropped Hiei and blinked. "Hm… torture time over already? Damn, I was enjoying that."

Hiei stood up, panting, glaring, and blushing as everyone stared at him. "IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

Kuwabara blinked, "Hiei's ticklish?"

Getting a few glares and a few nods from the crowd, Kuwabara shrugged and whipped out a guitar. "Everyone, you heard what the lady--"

"BITCH!" Hiei corrected.

"……. lady." Kuwabara glared, refusing to let any woman be dissed by the short bastard. "…said. " He continued. "Places everyone, you know how this goes!"

And everyone did so just for the hell of it.

Heero was the first with the microphone as everyone else got into place and dressed the part, getting instruments ready. He cleared his throat, sweatdropped a bit in doing this, then straightened his posture and began to sing in his oh-so-sexy voice we all know Leta's head over heels for.

"There isn't much I haven't shared
With you along the road
And through it all there'd always be
Tomorrow's episode
Suddenly that isn't true
There's another avenue
Beckoning the great divide
Ask no questions, take no side
Who's to say who's right or wrong
Whose course is braver run
Still we are, have always been
Will ever be as one"

Hiei and Kurama took up as the backup singers, adding in their little contributes to the song, Yusuke and Kuwabara on guitars, FYers with the other instruments, G-boys doing some dance moves for viewing pleasure, though Wufei and Trowa are being forced into the dancing bit.

Tamahome stepped forward and took the mic as Heero stepped back and took Tamahome's place.

"What is done has been done for the best
Though the mist in my eyes might suggest
Just a little confusion about what I'll lose
But if I started over I know I would choose
The same joy the same sadness each step of the way
That fought me and taught me that friends never say…"

The blue-green haired boy stepped back, letting all four YYHer's step up to the mic as he took up as a backup singer. Yusuke and Kuwabara kept the guitars.

Hiei was the first to sing his small line, pulling the microphone down to his height.

"Never say goodbye"

"Never say goodbye" Kurama echoed, pulling the mic up for himself.

"Never say goodbye" Yusuke added as well, then helped Kuwabara pull the microphone up further to his height.

"Never say goodbye"

Kurama sweatdropped when nothing happened after that, then pushed his little Fire Demon back over to the mic when he tried to walk away, whispering into his ear, "Leta says your one of her very best friends, your solo turn!"

Hiei growled some protests, blushing a bit from embarrassment, then Kurama whispered something into his ear again, too quiet for anyone to hear. Hiei's eyes lit up and he grabbed the mic with a grin.

"Suddenly that isn't true
There's another avenue
Beckoning, the great divide
I would choose
The same joy the same sadness each step of the way
That fought me and taught me that friends never say…" Hiei finished with his deep, thick voice, stepping back from the mic and giving Kurama a "you owe me" kind of look.

Tamahome, Hotohori, Tasuki and Chichiri all stepped up next for their little THTC solos. Chichiri grabbed the mic.

"Never say goodbye"

"Never say goodbye" Tasuki echoed, then handed Hotohori the mic.

"Never say goodbye" The young emperor added his part to the song and gave Tamahome the finishing line.

"…Never say goodbye…" Tamahome finished, putting as much of that overly emotional spirit into the finishing solo.

The G-boys gave some cheer as both the dancers and the audience for most of the song. The singers and players all sighed in relief as the embarrassment was over.

"Thanks guys!" Xenia grinned down at them. "You're all really sweet, I love you all!"

"Yey…" They all said in unison unenthusiastically.

"You can all go home now." A big flash of light appeared in the room and each bishounen (and Chiriko and Kuwabara) were flashed back to the spots they were in before. The G-boys into their Gundams to continue a battle, Tamahome to Miaka's side, Hotohori to his throne, Nuriko next to Hotohori, Mitsukake and Chiriko to the gardens, Chichiri to the pond to continue some good hearted fishing and Tasuki to the palace's kitchen. Kuwabara back to school, Yusuke to the roof of the school where he spends most of his days playing hooky. Kurama out of his clothes and onto his bed, comfy in his room, and Hiei on top of him. Rar….!

--O.WA.RI!--

Xenia: Hi.
Hiei: That's the lamest topic you've ever had in the author-to-muses section…
Xenia: Thanks.
Hiei:……. *Slams head into wall* I think I was just more talkative then Xenia…
Xenia: *Smirks* Well… *Loses smirk* There is ONE thing…
Hiei: To talk about?
Xenia: Hai… T_T
Kurama: Is it something we want to hear?
Xenia: NOOO!!!! FUNIMATION'S DUBBING YYH!!!
Kurama: Well, yes.
Hiei: We were aware of this Xenia….
Xenia: NO! You don't GET IT! They've DONE IT! I went to SunCoast and there was a sign in the anime section saying "Coming Soon! : Yu Yu Hakusho - Yusuke Lost, Yusuke Found" being the first few episodes… What's worse!!!! "Coming Soon! : Yu Yu Hakusho - Artifacts of Darkness" Being when Kurama and Hiei show Uuuu-huuuu-huuuup!
Hiei: Wow.
Kurama: Oh dear…
Xenia: IN DUB!!!!
Hiei and Kurama: AAAAHHH!!!
Xenia: SEEEEE!?
Hiei: *Draws Katana*
Kurama: *Whips out RoseWhip. Ha ha, get it? *WHIPS* out Rose*WHIP*? Ha-…. Nevermind.*
Xenia: Death to all that walks the Earth under the shadow of FUNimation!!!! Now proceed to reading.

By: Xeeeeeeenia! Nyan!
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply! ^_^
Warning: Yaoi-- doesn't COUNT as a warning! YAOI RULES THE WORLD! DA HAH-- shutting up. Um... and Truth or Dare. I hate Truth or Dare. It should die. Slowly and painfully. I only wish I knew why I still play that game.... O.o..... >_< And why I hate it so...
Type: Chaos. O.o Game time FUN! POV fic.
Series: Can you guess? No, really, can you? Start's with Y…
Audience: Yu-gi-o!
Xenia: What the hell? No… um…. Yu….
Audience: YU-GI-O!!!
Xenia: NO! Yu… Y….
Audience:……. Yuy……. Heero Yuy?
Xenia: *Pulls on hair* YU YU HAKUSHO!!!
Audience: What's that?
Xenia: …… What ARE you?
Pairing: KuramaxHiei. What. A. Surprise.
Notes: WHY FUNimation?! WHY?! LEAVE MY WIDDLE YYH-CHAN ALOOONE! IT NEVER DID A THING TO YOU! What would Yoshihiro Togashi-sama say if he found out the same people who dubbed DBZ, for Hells sake, are dubbing YYH?! He probably knows… Damn… WHY YOSHI-SAMA?! WHYYYY?! I mean…Notes…. Notes…. Well, for one, Yoshihiro Togashi-sama would be YYH's creator if that wasn't obvious…. Um…. Also this is all from a character's point of view. Oh the horror. I'm sure you can guess who the character just happens to be within the first paragraph. Well…. First few words, actually. I've always wanted to try a POV fic.

~<>~ Mirth and Other Forms of Torture ~<>~

Snow. Hn. Damn. What's the point of sitting at a windowsill when all you can see is snow? It's cold anyway. Then again… Better than sitting over there with the idiot. Then again, Kurama's over there, too. Then again Yukina's over there, too. Damn. I'm blushing. Che… Damn pale skin.

"I know! Let's play a game!" Yusuke piped up.

A game? A *game*?! Is he insane? We're supposed to be on our way to a tournament and all he can think about is playing a game?! Why did we have to stop at this cabin anyway? I could be at the tournament *now* If I wasn't with these slow--

"Oh, That sounds like fun!" Yukina answered sweetly. "What game should we play, Yusuke-san?"

What a wonderful idea. A game! Damn, I'm going to kill Yusuke for this. Oh well, no one ever said *I* had to play. I just have to sit here and agonize through the damn slow torture of listening to laughter. Che.

"Hiei, come play!" Kurama waved over. "Help us think up a game idea."

Oh, I'll help you think up a game idea, alright. Give me a rope and take off those clothes of yours and I'll give you a *great* game to play, Kurama. Wait. Che…

"Fuck off, Kurama." I answer quietly. I don't really want to play the sort of game they want to. What's the point? If it doesn't involve carnage or climax I'm not interested.

"Hiei-san, that wasn't very nice." Yukina pouted, sliding off the small couch to sit on the rug with everyone else.

I gulp. Then I look back through the window. She's right. I guess… It wasn't very nice. Couldn't she see I was *aiming* for that? Damn her innocence. "Sorry…" I mutter. Barely audible.

"Okay, what game are we playing?" Yusuke asked, rubbing his hands together. "Let's see… Spin the bottle?"

Kuwabara blushed, then looked at Yukina and nodded, "Sounds like fun!"

Che, damn fool.

Botan looked around the room. //…Let's see, Botan ol' girl. There's Yusuke. Kurama. Yukina…// She wrinkled her nose a bit, //…Oh well, there's always a girl somewhere in this game. Not a problem. Kuwabara? Ehh… Well, he's a sweetheart. Okay. There's--…// She blinked, then got a horrified look on her face and wrinkled her nose. //…Hiei?! Eeiiii…// "Naah, I don't want to play that."

I glare over at the group. "Idiots…" Short. Simple. True. All my answers are like that.

"Seven minutes in heaven?" Yusuke asked.

Kuwabara eyed Yukina and blushed more than he had previously. Damn idiot. As if I didn't see that. "NO." What the hell? Where'd that come from? Damn, drew attention to myself.

"Hiei-san, will you please come and play with us?" Yukina asked, smiling sweetly.

Blackmail! That smile was blackmail! Damn, damn, damn, damn-- "…Alright." What?! Stop it! Ack! You're walking! Stop it, *back* to that windowsill! Stop--Aw Hell…. I sit down next to Kurama and grumble about nothing.

"Oh! What about Truth or Dare?" Botan chirped. Truth or *What*!? What the Hell was that? Kurama obviously saw my confusion. He was smirking at me. Damn fox! Stop it! Che…

"What's Truth or Dare?" Yukina blinked. Good. She didn't know either. At least I didn't have to ask.

"I'll explain!" Yusuke grinned, "See, someone asks their target 'Truth or Dare'. If the person says 'Truth' the person whose It gets to ask them a question and they have to answer them honestly. If the target says 'Dare', they have to do whatever It tells them to."

Yukina looked a bit frightened, "Oh my. What if someone didn't do what they were told?"

Kurama piped in, "That would be the alternative choice. We need to think up one of those. It has to be really bad, though, so everyone doesn't pick it each time."

Yusuke nodded. Damn! What is up with this game? What if I'm picked? I'll be at the mercy of these idiots?! I think not. I stand up to head back to my windowsill but--what!? Kurama's holding me still! Damn fox! Damn, damn, damn--

"How about…" Yusuke tried to think. Feh, tried. "They have to spend an hour in the closet with Kuwabara?" He snickered, then Kuwabara slammed a punch to him, "Itai."

"Not funny, Urameshi." Kuwabara snarled then began to think as well. "How about they have to strip down to their boxers and spend a half-hour…" he glanced out the window at the snow, "…out there."

Yusuke made some sort of 'Ooooo' kinda noise and everyone else looked a little scared. Especially the girls. Even I felt a little… odd. "What?!" Damn, I'm talking again. "That is SUICIDE!"

Kuwabara smirked at me. Che. "Only to you, shrimp. Guess you have no choice but to do what 'It' says, then. Scared?"

"I don't get scared." Damn idiot. I should kill him. He's only a human. Then again, I'm still on probation. Who the Hell cares, I'd be doing everyone a favor.

"Okay. Botan's It! She's the one who came up with this." Yusuke grinned cheerfully, ready to be dared at any given moment.

"Me?" Botan looked alarmed at first, then smirked when it sunk in that *she* held the fate of one of us in the palm of her damn bubbly hand. Bitch, she'd better not pick Yukina. "Okay… Yusuke!"

Yusuke's eyes lit up, "DARE!" he shouted loud enough for freaking Florida to hear.

"Okay… I dare you to… Ummm…" Che, her mind's blank as always. This could take all night. Her eyes settled on… ME!? But she picked Yusuke! Stop looking at me, damn woman! "Hmph. Make Hiei smile. " She finished. *What*!? Why don't I just flash a smirk and leave? Finish the game sooner. Hn.

"Hn." I glare over at Yusuke, "Don't even think about it, Yusuke."

Yusuke cracked his knuckled and advanced towards me, "Okay, Hiei. Trust me, this won't be that bad."

I inch away from him, "Don't stand so close…"

Yusuke laughed, then blinked when an idea came into his mind. Great… He leaned over and whispered into my ear, "Picture Kuwabara kissing Yukina…" What the hell? Is that supposed to make me *smile*?! Yusukeeee… "Got it?" I don't answer. If I shake my head he'll persist with the torture. If I nod, I'd be lying tremendously. He must have expected the lack of answer, considering he continued. "Now picture his mangled body *after* you see him kiss Yukina." A smirk appeared on my lips. Damn! He did it! In such short time! How interesting…

Botan cheered, "He did it! Wow, and so quickly. What did you say to him?"

Yusuke grinned, "Guy talk. You wouldn't get it."

Damn bubbly ferry girl must've been thinking dirtily because she looked sickened, "Oh, I see…'Guy talk'… Bleh..."

"My turn!" Yusuke announced heartily. "Target… Target… Kurama!"

Kurama looked a bit alarmed, then shrugged and blinked. "Mm… Truth."

"Che, coward." Yusuke mumbled, then continued, "Alright. Is it true you actually said 'yes' to dating one of the girls in your school? Three times?"

Kurama turned rather red. Redder than my eyes. Kuramaaaa……. What's that blush for?! Say no! Of course you didn't! Damn it, Kurama! Say no!

"That was a long *time* ago, Yusuke!" Kurama snarled a bit and glanced wearily at me. "But…."

"But…?" Yusuke grinned.

"Y…. ye…. once."

Yusuke shrugged, "Good enough. Che. Ruin my turn. I really wanted to dare someone."

Kurama stuck his tongue out, then looked around the room. Then settled on me. Ooh damn. "Truth or Dare, Hiei?"

Too much bad past to say Truth. I don't want the morons here knowing more about me than they have to. If I was born to be miserable, at least I shouldn't have to tell the world about it. "Dare."

Kurama smirked, "I dare you… To say something nice."

I blink. Nice? What?!

"…About Kuwabara," he continued.

I nearly collapsed under myself. Me?! Nice?! About the idiot?! This game isn't very fun. "Wha--… I…. Guess…. Maybe he's not AS large as I make him out to be."

Kuwabara blinked. //…Was that even nice…?…//

Kurama seemed happy. He clapped, anyway. "Yey, I'm so proud of you, Hiei!" Yep, definitely happy. He wrapped his arms around my ribs to make a hug. Ugh… Oh the humiliation. I guess Kurama wasn't the only happy one. Yusuke grinned like a moron, even Botan looked more perky than usual. Is that possible? Oh, and of course… Yukina's smiling at me. I'm blushing. Damn. Ack! Kurama better stop huggling me like that, his fingers tickle.

"My turn?" I ask. I guess so, so I start thinking. Kuwabara. Heh. "Oi, Idiot. Truth or Dare?"

"I, the great Kazuma Kuwabara, refuse to be such a weakling. I choose Dare!" He announced. Damn idiot. Kurama chose truth…. Is he calling MY fox a weakling? Is he saying--… Okay, whatever.

"Hn." I smirk, "Rip off your head."

Kuwabara blinked.

Kurama glared at me. Uh oh, scolding time. "Hiei… No death."

"No one ever said death was against the rules. Adding rules in the middle of this? Isn't *that* against the rules?" I ask. I'm right. I know it. He'll have to rip off his head. Mwa hah hah.

"Oh dear…" Yukina looked about to cry. Shit! Changing the dare *right* now!

"Wait. I changed my mind." I announce in a grumble. I think for a minute or so. How can I make a dare still… Kuwabara-death related? Ah. "Idiot. I dare you to tell Yukina how you feel about her." Heh. If he says anything wrong…. Off with his head. And other various limbs. Carnage. Heh.

Kuwabara blushes, then looked down, twiddled his thumbs for a moment as his face got even redder, then looked to Yukina. One word, moron. Just one simple word… I dare you… "Yu-Yukina-san." Feh, who didn't see that one coming? 'Yukina-san'… Either call her by her short, sweet name, or add a -sama to the end. Prove you're worthy. Don't waist breath with any of this 'Ms.' crap. "I…"

Yukina giggled, then placed her small, cute hand on his large irritating body part some might call a hand. I call it an unwieldy mass. Blech… Oh, damn, she's talking. "It's alright, Kazuma-san. You've said enough for me to understand completely." Her big, lovely eyes were cheerful and sweet, a perfect shade of crimson. Her voice was like an angel, so beautiful and clear, so soft and sweet. If I could, I'd tell her the truth about our relationship right this moment. If I could…

Kuwabara smiled. "Arigatou Yukina-san." His voice rolled out in that horrible tone he always had. He really needed to seek help about that squeak he made when he said 'i'.

I grumbled some words I didn't even realize I was saying under my breath. Then finally spoke when I snapped out of my Anti-Idiot, Yukina-is-perfect mode and realized the lack of blood. "Oi! He didn't do the dare. He just said 'Yukina-san, I…' Finish up, fool, or I'll have your head!"

Kurama put his hand on my shoulder to calm me down. I glared up at him for that. "Hiei," That already made my glare fade. Such a damn sexy voice… Augh! Damn Youkos! Too… er…. sexy. "Calm down… Yukina said it was enough."

"But it wasn't enough for me--" Me!? Enough for Yukina and not for me?! Me? Showing selfishness in front of such perfection?! I quickly changed my wording, "…. enough for the dare. The dare was to say how he felt. That wasn't explaining a damn thing."

Kurama tried to protest, but, heh, as I thought, Kuwabara just couldn't resist my challenge. To show weakness in front of the 'Shrimp'? Go on, Idiot. Make a bigger fool of yourself. "Yukina-san…" His disgusting voice rolled out. Blech. "I…" Yeah… You said that already. Keep going, fool. "Well… that is… Ever since the first day I saw you…" Great. Romance. If I knew he'd take so damn long with this mush I'd never had chosen him in the first place. Why was I so oblivious to forget his personality? "I've wanted to protect you with all I had. I wanted to show you human's aren't all bad." Wow. You sure got your point across. That 'lovely' face of yours just shows it all off. "I've felt… with all my heart…" He's blushing. Oh this is good. He's making Yukina blush, too. Bastard…

"Okay. Enough." I let out in my usual low rumble. "That explains enough." I put on a disgusted face, showing off my strongest emotion at the current time, then I stand up. I'd bet the fool couldn't tell I was standing up. I was his height while he's sitting down. Damn his height. Damn mine…Screw this game, it's not very amusing. It's not amusing at all. In the slightest. Suddenly that freezing windowsill looks a lot warmer than it had.

Something lithe wrapped itself around my waist. I knew in a second it was Kurama's hands. His thin arms pulled me back down to my seat, I didn't exactly fight back. I didn't want to play the game, but I didn't mind sitting near Kurama. Near? Wait. This wasn't the floor. I look down and see Kurama placed me in his lap. Damn. I'm his prisoner now. Once he has me in that lap of his, there's no escaping until the bastard fox will let me.

The game continued on and on. The longer it went the more I wanted to just fall asleep. Right here. Nice and comfy. In Kurama's arms. What the Hell? I sound like a fucking sap. Just then Kurama's voice hummed right by my ear and I look up at him in question.

"I said Truth or Dare, Hiei?" Kurama asked again. He blinked in confusion for a moment at my absent state, then looked around the room to find few others in the same state or coming close to it. So tired. We all really need something else to do to keep us busy.

"Oh…" I answer sleepily. "Dare." I answer in a semi-yawn. Kurama always tells me I look like a little kitten when I yawn like that. I don't know why. He says it probably has to do with my fangs and small face. Probably my big eyes, too. I hate it. It makes me look 'cute'.

Kurama smiled warmly, noticing I really wasn't up for a Dare, but I hated Truth. He's so smart, he always notices what people need at just the right time. He proved this by leaning down to my ear and whispering the dare into it. "I dare you to come to my room. Right now. Lie down on the bed and stay there until I say otherwise."

A smirk came to my lips. Yes, just as I thought, he knew exactly what I needed. I loved it when he spoke so close to my ear, it tickled a little. He should do it more often. "Alright, I'll take you up on it." I whisper back in my deep voice. Before I can stand up myself, Kurama lifts me up. Easily as can be, too. Right about now I don't hate my height. Easy for Kurama to carry me places. Sure, it's a little embarrassing, but everyone's too out of it to make fun. Yusuke only yawned, Kuwabara was too busy looking out the window at the snow, Botan was chowing down on some of those massacred potatoes everyone calls 'chips'. I hate them. What kind of name was that? Chips? Thank you, but I think I'll pass… I don't like eating things that have the same name as… nevermind. And lastly, Yukina. She-- Well, she was always perfect. She didn't seem all that sleepy. It was obvious she was, but she tried to hide it for everyone's sake if they still wanted to play. Her only response was… a wink. At me.

I smiled back at her, she obviously knew Kurama was going to take good care of me. Oh, she smiled, too… I love that smile. It always brightens my day. Although it never truly reaches her eyes. She really wants to find her brother… And you know what? I think she knows it's me. She's always been so nice to me, so open with me. Who else is like that aside from my lover? Sure, Yusuke can be what some may call a friend. Everyone else either teases me or fears me. Yukina's just a sweet little girl. Why isn't she afraid? Kurama told me she probably knows, too… But… I used to wonder why she didn't just tell me she knew. On the way to the tournament we're headed for, I think I found out why. I think she just wants me to tell her… But I can't. It hurts. And shoot me, I'm being all dramatic again.

Before I even finish my train of thought, I find myself on Kurama's bed. Good. Just what I needed. Now, if Kurama would only hop in, too. Why is he leaving? Where is he going? He couldn't possibly just have dropped me off on his bed and expected--…. Hn… Kurama, you're such a tease. Well, I know he wants to be in this bed, too. I'm not about to run after him. I don't beg people to sleep with me.

I close my eyes and grab the blankets. It's really cold. Then again, it is a cabin and it is snowing outside. It would be a lot warmer in here if Kurama was sleeping with me. Or maybe not sleeping at all. Maybe we could start our own little game. Right here. In the bed. I promise it would be a lot more entertaining than Truth or Dare… Damn fox…

About an hour later I got really bored. This is Kurama's room. Shouldn't he be sleeping in here? He looked real tired, he should have gone to bed, too. I step out of bed, shivering when my toes hit the ground. Cold… Slowly, I start padding my way into the living room of this damn small house.

Hn. Everyone went to bed apparently. Maybe it was a little more than an hour that I was in Kurama's room… Hn. I step more into the living room, the fireplace isn't roaring anymore. It's even colder than it was before. I wrap my arms around myself and take another step. Damn, is it cold… My feet have got to be numb by now.

Oh, there's Kurama. At the windowsill? Hn. Baka Kitsune… Must have fallen asleep watching the moon rise, or something. Anything to have gotten his attention. Anyway, I grab a blanket and shuffle over to Kurama. Hmm… He looks comfy. I mean he looks *comfy*. As in for me to sleep on. Not he looks like he's in a comfy posit-- Oh, nevermind. I hop into Kurama's lap after covering the Baka Fox with the blanket. Mm, warm. It would be much warmer, though if… I snuggle under the blanket, too. Much better. Uh oh. I guess Kurama wasn't sleep. His arms found their way around my shoulders and back. This seems almost romantic. Lying together, snuggled under a blanket, arms around each other… A full moon shining over us… Damn, I'm getting all mushy again. Fuck this…

Kurama's hand traces my jaw line so I look away and pull out of Kurama's hug. Turning to the side, I hop off the windowsill and let my bare feet touch the freezing floor again. I don't do romance. We're partners, not lovers. We fight. We play in the bed. Lovers… Now that's Yusuke and Keiko type of business. I think not… Gyah! Apparently Kurama doesn't see the same way I do… "Oi. Baka fox. Let go." Kurama's arms around me again. I sigh… If he even *tries*--…. He tried it. His lips are touching mine. Why is he so supplicating!? Like… All the time…!?

Oh, Hell, his hands are in my pants… Why not? I jump back into Kurama's lap… Um… Just because he wants me to. So he'll stop playing with me. That's it… Yeah. Fuck, he has me in denial. Hn, his hands got out of my pants. And I was liking that… Augh! He's such a tease…

Kurama put his arms around me once again and his gaze went back to the moon. Admittedly, it was a pretty moon… But this is so romantic, I can't take it. I squirm uneasily in Kurama's arms. It's so quiet. I mean… I love the quiet. It's always good. But it's so tense this way… Eh? I look up when I notice Kurama's breathing very even, only to see he fell asleep. Hn. Typical. Why not..? I snuggle closer to him and start to nod off, too. Under the moonlight. With the snow falling softly. All alone with Kurama… wrapped up together in a nice, warm blanket… In his arms… Looking up to see his peaceful sleeping face, his perfect features, the moon's luminescence reflecting off his creamy skin… Damn, I hate romance.

~<>~ Owari ~<>~

2002-02-27T15:43:00.000-08:00

Meow.

I've finally figured out how to write a Tidus/Yuna (I am not calling it Yunis, damnit) fic without bringing people back from the dead. And not a short in-game one-shot WAFF, either, because I suck at those beyond all belief. Of course, I might suck at het romance. I don't know. I've never tried. But I'll just throw in lots of angst and see if I can make it work, ne? You know what inspired it? A mental image of Yuna dancing to techno. *shrugs* Go figure. Delerium techno, specifically. Particularly the Silence and Innocente remixes off the first disk of their latest CD.

The fic's called Only in Dreams, BTW. And joy, my FFX ficcing is now complete. Well, not complete, obviously, since I haven't finished all the fics I'm writing for it now and I'm sure I'll think of a gazillion later, but the basic framework is complete. I've got the pre-game series (TJS), the in-game vignettes (LoC, HT), the character-sketch songfic (TU2), and the post-game series (OiD). Joy. I am happy.

On a side note, the Sims CD finally turned up again. And BA bought the Hot Date expansion pack. *slams head into desk* I will not play Sims. I will not play Sims. I will not be sucked into the black void known as Sims. I will not return to the incredibly boring yet strangely addicting soul-sucking game of Sims. Even though I've finally found that Duo skin to seduce my old Heero sim. ...No. NO. Step AWAY from the Sims. ...hey, Zell skin... BAD KITI!

2002-02-26T07:06:00.000-08:00

I am a Pacman Ghost.

I like to hang around with friends, chatting, dancing, all that sort of thing. We don't appreciate outsiders, and do our best to discourage others approaching us. I enjoy occasionally wandering around randomly, and often find that when I do so, I get to where I wanted to be. What Video Game Character Are You?

2002-02-26T06:57:00.000-08:00

Woah. Sapheire sounds like me today. The 'tends to be nice in a rude manner' thing. I have this thing against letting people think I'm nice, for whatever reason, but I still try to do the right thing as often as possible, so it winds up... like Sapheire. 'Tends to be nice in a rude manner.' Yeah.

In case you can't tell, I'm blogging on every subject that pops into my head because I'm on vacation, which means I'm bored. Nyan.

2002-02-25T21:57:00.000-08:00

Random quote of the moment:

"Hello, foul creature from the darkest depths of hell."
"Hello, person who exists."

Both stated in perfectly ordinary, casual tones. Neither of us at all annoyed at/surprised by the other one.

2002-02-25T21:25:00.000-08:00

Found this one through the VSD. Those things disturb the heck out of me, since LOTR yaoi is just as wrong as the FFX yaoi, but I keep on reading. It's like a car wreck. Or something.

I love to FROLIC with the elves
"So you like the pretty boys. And if there's any boy prettier than the rest, it's Legolas. Sure, he may also be a little girlier than the rest, but that's what you want, right? Smooth, beautiful love-making the way only a woman could do it. Or a really faggy elf."

...okay, that's wrong. Too pretty for me. I do have a bizarre thing for elves, but I'd rather have Arwen. Or Aragorn, for that matter (not an elf, but cool). I am one of those rare creatures: a girl who thinks movie!Legolas is kick-ass, but doesn't want to sleep with him. So this is wrong. *fiddles with test* On a side note, a few of my friends have turned the word frolic into a very interesting multi-purpose verb. Example: Sephiroth frolicked Cloud. So remove the 'with' from that little picture caption thing, and it's a bit better. At least it sounds dirtier. Which is always good. ~_^

Hah. Fixed it. Only needed to change one answer. Still holds true. Hah.

Tall, dark, and RUGGEDLY handsome!
Aw, you go for the tall, dark and handsome type. How trite. True, Aragorn's as much a man as any of the Fellowship, but the whole "I'm not good enough to be king" thing really gets in the way of bedroom fun. Whining can be a real turn-off, you know.

2002-02-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

Am on vacation.

Am already bored. >.<

Ski trip has been suggested. Everyone else seems to like it. Am considering brutally murdering the person who suggested it in his sleep.

Remember the whole cold-weather phobia I have? With the snow and the ice and the wind and the pain? Yeah? Still stands.

Ski trip. Oh, joy.

2002-02-24T20:33:00.000-08:00

I think I have insomnia.

I've been sleeping okay, when I get to sleep. It's just that there aren't enough hours in a row. It's a weekend. I woke up... 5-6-ish. Unheard of.

Father (am staying with him at the moment) says I need to exercise more. Father apparently has never walked 10 miles with a 50 pound backpack everyday for months on end. Or done 160 crunches every night. Followed by pushups until my arms shake too hard to move. I really don't think it's the exercise thing.

Am extremely tired right now, but a. it's only 11, and b. even if I went to bed right now, I'd just lie there and be bored for a very long time. Which I'm sick of.

I'm also sick of people second-guessing me. Am around family just now, and they have this habit of doing that. It's annoying the heck out of me. It's not even like it's about major things, but they make such a big deal about it and do it so consistently... >.< Even just little things. Example, I'm telling my mother about the movie I rented (Final Fantasy), gushing over the graphics. She takes one look at the cover and says, "That's not computer animated." ...yes, it is. "No, they must have filmed that. Look at that picture." ...I know it's incredible too, ma, but it really is CG... this conversation continued for more than an hour. *whaps forehead* Most of the long conversations I've had with my family this trip have been along those lines. I make one simple little comment, someone disagrees with me even though it's a simple fact, and because stubbornness runs in my family, we spend forever arguing over it. It's ridiculous. Plus, I am almost always right. That's not ego. I just don't state something unless I'm reasonably sure of my facts. Yet everyone continues to second-guess me. It is extraordinarily frustrating.

It's also not something I want to deal with on about 4 hours of sleep (and that's one of my good days, lately). I'm irritable anyway, and the less sleep I get, the easier it is to tick me off. You can imagine how much I love my family right now. Am actually looking forward to classes. Shock.

On the bright side, I went up to that cool comic book store in Manchester. You know, one of those comics/RPGs/anime stores, where almost everything is kept in cardboard boxes and they never restock, they just have really really old things. I love this store. They have all sorts of obscure VHS anime, the kind of thing you never see anymore except in old video rental places. Like They Were 11, or Genesis Survivor Gaiearth, or Gude Crest, or Megami Paradise, or Girl from Phantasia, or Princess Minerva, or Odin, or... I'm rambling. Pointless. Anyway, lots of fun obscure anime. I love obscure anime. This is the kind of thing that got me into anime in the first place. Any of you remember walking into Suncoast, and they had maybe one shelf of anime, and that half-empty, and almost all dubbed and hentai? Yeah. I used to go in and buy videos that I'd never heard of just because they were the only subtitled video in the store. That's how I found Princess Minerva, actually. And you'd watch every tape about 30 times, 'cause you didn't have that many tapes, 'cause there weren't that many tapes that had been translated at all. And it was possible to own every video that A.D.V. had translated, and the little response form thing had questions like "Do you like sailors addicted to vegetables in your anime?" I frickin love that. Lately, though, all the new stuff that's coming out is kind of looking alike. Even the good ones. Cowboy Bebop is like Outlaw Star is like Trigun. I love them all, but there's a lot of similarities. Then there's the ones that completely bore me. Completely ordinary human boy finds himself surrounded by beautiful otherworldly women who all want him and he doesn't like the situation. Or the genre that is becoming more and more popular, angst, angst, and angst, followed by darkness and angst, then some angst, and just for fun let's throw in some angst, ending with the hero's horrible tragic death and/or the deaths of everyone he's ever cared about, leaving his life meaningless. I like angst. I do. I like the grand, thought-out plot twists. But I like a little variety, too.

Bought Megami Paradise while I was there, along with Escaflowne (the pre-FOX version, that is, in those big clunky white boxes. Despite my rant, I do like mainstream stuff too. Just not all the time). Now that's anime. Catchy music, pretty girls, gratuitous fanservice, and a fun adventure. Fun. Fun. Not angst-filled. Fun. Even if the girls whine once in a while. They do that. They still have fun. There's a girl with pink hair shouting "Rururururururu!" and throwing bubbles at people while the audience gets a nice view up her skirt, for crying out loud. How could that not be good?

Gude Crest is one of my favorite anime videos of all time. Heard of it? Probably not. It's half an hour long, the animation isn't all that good by modern standards, and it took me a couple viewings to figure out exactly what was going on. More cute girls on fun adventures. Not so much gratuitous fanservice, and not as cute either. But it's fun. It's not deep. It's just this random obscure thing.

And They Were 11. Dear gods. I need to just buy this tape already, I've rented it a gazillion times. This one's a sci-fi, not a fantasy like the other two. It's got the cute girls (girl, singular, actually; well, kinda... I say Frol's a cute girl, anyway). It's got the bishies (King. Amazon. ...okay, that's about it. Fourth, maybe. But I like Amazon). And it has--better than bishies, although I'm calling down death at the hands of rabid fangirls by saying that--guys that will never, ever get any sort of romantic interest but are fun enough that you want to go have a couple beers together. It's got detailed spaceship designs. It has explosions. It has alien races. It has guns. It has gender-bending fun. It has people going crazy and hunting each other down. And it has--I love this part--a food fight where the entire cast attacks each other with cream pies, with perky catchy music in the background that I have memorized just from listening to it over and over and over again. Amazon, as far as I can tell, emerged unscathed. Go, Amazon! I have actually written a fic for this movie based on that scene. I think it's the only fic for it in existence. It's also yaoi. That annoys me. Yaoi should be a sub-genre. It shouldn't be the only fic for a series. That's just... wrong. Not that I dislike yaoi, despite what you'd think lately. But it shouldn't be the focus, for the same reason het shouldn't be the focus. Just romance gets boring.

Cheered myself up. Yay. Remind me to think about anime instead of family whenever possible. It's better that way. Now go find an old video store and rent Mermaid's Forest.

2002-02-24T08:53:00.000-08:00

You are Zell! Hyperactive much? Caffeine and you should stay
far from each other. You might be a little shy with the opposite
sex, but in big groups you're extremely outspoken. Your
emotions run strong, and though you might try to hide them,
you seldom succeed.

Take the Final Fantasy 8 Test here!

HA! I'm ZELL! And Zell isn't evil! Therefore, I am not evil! In your FACE! *does happy little dance around the room*

...okay, I think I should stop taking all these quiz things for a while. *sweatdrop*

2002-02-24T08:47:00.000-08:00

Are you seme or uke? Find out!

HA! This test has nothing to do with being evil, so I can't get an evil character! HA! ...wait, is that Vinny in the background? ...I'm a vampire now? ...FUCK!

2002-02-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

Which Chess Piece Are You?

...I'M NOT EVIL, GODDAMNIT! How the heck do I keep getting evil people?! Just 'cause I'm strong and people are stupid doesn't mean I'm evil, does it?! *goes back and fiddles with her answers*

2002-02-24T08:24:00.000-08:00

Took another test thingy. Fuck, I'm evil again. >.< I'm nice to intelligent people, really I am!

A RED Dragon Lies Beneath!

I took the Inner Dragon online quiz and found out I am a Red Dragon on the inside. Remember Smaug? Yep, Red Dragon. Oh, my friend I'm in good company. Red dragons are the most vile and crafty of all the dragons. They are also the most dangerous of all dragons. As such they are the Fire Elemental dragons. Reds have a nasty tendency towards luring you in with quiet words and soft emotions, then wrapping their scaly tails around you and biting off your puny little human head. Fun, no?

But of course, Reds aren't all about killing and treasure hoarding. I like to invent creative traps, relax in the mouths of volcanoes, fly over vast forests looking for men ...er... sheep (yeah...), and pick fights. My favorable attributes are Summer, the sword, fire, courage, passion, will power, and leadership. If dragons went to war, they'd rally behind me in a snap. Well, me or a Copper Dragon. But those Coppers are wusses anyway, and I could beat one up to take command. In fact, I probably would considering my breath weapon is good old fashioned Fire, and plenty of it. Oh it's good to be the king.

2002-02-24T06:06:00.000-08:00

The bad news first: I saw YYH dubbed last night.

I think that speaks for itself.

Good news: I also saw Pilot Candidate, which looks promising. The dubbing's not bad, either. I think I like where they're going with this one.

Really good news: I have finally found a song for my FFX amv.

Not the Auron amv, which I picked out ages ago. The FFX one. As in, the whole game. I really want to make a good tribute to this game. It's so incredibly beautiful. I was going to use the orchestral version of Suteki da Ne, but someone used the non-orchestral version already, and did it well enough to make me cry over the ending all over again (of course, this was the day after I beat the game), so using the same song for the same series would be extraordinarily rude. Not that I'm opposed to being rude, usually, but I try to be nice to people who are intelligent, such as the ones that make beautiful music videos for the best video games of all time.

So, I've been looking for another song. Not that I could possibly make the video yet, since if I ever did find the right song, I wouldn't be able to see the screen through the tears. (Obviously, I'll be including the ending. And yes, I am a girl.) But I wanted to have a song picked out for when I might be able to edit it with slightly less floodlike tendencies.

Unfortunately, all the good songs are either taken or don't fit. I found a few ones with lyrics that fit, but the music completely disgusted me. Or the other way around. At one point, I found one that fit perfectly--but violently. I want the first video I do for this series to represent the whole series, the way I see it. Which means beauty hiding incredible sadness. That is sort of the theme of all my fics; it's the thing that struck me most about the game, so it's what I want to represent in the video. But it's really, really hard to find a song that fits.

And I finally found one. *happy/depressed sigh* I know it's the one, 'cause when I pictured FFX scenes to this music, I started crying. Again. If it can make me cry, I have to use it. And it's long. It's really, really long. Over ten minutes. Which is good, because it gives me enough time to use all the scenes I wanted without the ending completely dominating the video. And it's in both Japanese and English. Which is good, because when you follow the lyrics in your video (like I do), viewers who don't understand Japanese can get confused. But FFX had such a distinctly Japanese flair, so much more so than the previous games, I want to represent that in the video to.

And I would never even consider using this song for anything else. This song is holy. But then, so is FFX. This is the only combination that seems right.

Wow.

What's the song?

N-o-t T-e-l-l-i-n-g. ~_^ You wait and see.

2002-02-22T19:49:00.000-08:00

Queen of the Damned.

*purr*

I like this Lestat. I have named him Sex-on-Legs!Lestat. Because he is. The Lestat portrayed in this movie is not THE Lestat. That is Tom Cruise. He has what is known as a personality. The Lestat in this movie has Sex Appeal. And yes, it merits the capital letters. Holy fucking shit. The concert. And when he was on the ceiling. And the concert. Gods. Yes. Sex-on-Legs!Lestat. Hell yeah. Oh, and the funky sex scene with Akasha too, I guess, but... yeah, whatever. I mean, he still has the sex appeal and all, but it's not the Sex Appeal! he has when he's being the evil rock star brat prince.

Oh, and the whole Akasha thing is the reason I'm not furious that Tom Cruise turned down the role. I do not want to see THE Lestat playing Akasha's lapdog. It was bad enough in the books. If I saw it on screen, I would have to hurt someone.

And the music. Fit. That surprised the hell out of me. When I first saw the previews, I thought--well, I thought the whole thing looked off, actually, and it did, but it was the music that clinched it for me. I took one look at the bands they listed and moaned. Not in a fun sort of way, either. I mean, I loved the score to IWTV. I own the score to IWTV. And listen to it often. It's great inspirational music for my angsty depressing stuff. This was completely unlike the score to IWTV.

But then, the whole movie was completely unlike IWTV. That movie was holy. Er... unholy... um. You know what I mean. But this movie was--I'll say it again--sex. Sex, blood, and rock & roll. Which is good, in a completely-different-from-IWTV sort of way.

The trick to this movie is to have read the books, but accept that they will change so many details and the whole feel of the thing so much that it will be almost completely unrecognizable. Then you will be able to enjoy the movie. Actually, Xenia hasn't read the books, and she understood what was going on. But she also understood the Utena movie.

Oh. And they cut Gabrielle out. Damnit. Also cut Louis. What the hell? 'Course, whoever they got wouldn't be nearly as good as Brad Pitt, so that's forgivable.

Only unforgivable thing: Armand. Who the hell did the casting there? >_< I know Antonio Banderas was completely unlike the Armand of the books, but he pulled off the attitude, the aura--it worked. This pudgy blond git... *shudders* Please excuse me while I go claw out my eyes.

Oh, and saw Alice. At the theater, I mean. WTF? Completely had not expected her to be an Anne Rice fan, but go figure.

Anyway, yeah. This movie is sex. Good sex, at some points. Really good. My legs were shaking on my way out. Hard to walk. Kept shaking for a good deal of the drive home.

I want to go see this movie again.

2002-02-22T13:06:00.000-08:00

Today was extremely boring. Infuriatingly so. I spent 3 and a half hours waiting for a ride. I ate lunch. I read a book. I read a book some more. I took a break to watch a basketball game (we won. Woo-hoo). I read a book yet again. It was extremely dull. Not the book; it was a good book. But the fact that I was sitting there, reading this book, because I had absolutely nothing else to do. And the fact that I could be doing something else, something productive, if I was at home. Or anywhere other than where I was, for that matter. Or even just had a sketchbook. Note to self: never, ever leave both sketchbooks at home at once. Ever. Even just for one day. Buy pocket-sized sketchbooks to carry at all times.

Classes were dull, too. Not hard. Just dull. We didn't do anything. Finally performed our cutting in drama, though. Our director didn't show up. >.< Missed a few lines, too, but they were mostly ones that could be skipped; I don't think the audience noticed. Except for that one, where the girl stopped halfway through and apologized... now that was a pain in the ass to try and cover for... >.<

But there is a bright side. Queen of the Damned. Tonight. Hell yeah. 'Course, it kinda made it worse, putting up with all this boredom when I was thinking about the movie... but anyway. We're gonna go as soon as the sun sets ('cause it's a vampire movie, get it? A vampire... oh, never mind). In costume, of course (could anyone not go in costume to the sequel to one of the best movies of all time? ...okay, they could and they will. Shut up). Now, I live in middle-of-nowhere, capital city of the Land of People With 3.5 Kids, SUVs, and NO TASTE. Which means, despite being the first day, the theater will be empty. It was empty for the Matrix, it was empty for LoTR (aside from annoying ladies who complained about the ending >.<), it will be empty for Queen of the Damned. So there won't be anyone to be freaked out by our costumes, which would have been fun, but that's okay, I'll cope. Star's doing the whole 18th century gentleman look, like the kind of stuff they wore in IWTV. Xenia will probably do something along the same lines. I still think my poet shirt looks like crap, so I'm doing a modern gothy look. Not the crap the posers are wearing, which is all I ever see anymore (where did all the real goths go? >.<). You know, those kids who can't make up their mind whether they're supposed to be a goth or a punk, and describe themselves as being "into scary death stuff." Not sarcastically. No, I won't ever get over that line, kid. Anyway. I mean goth with style. A few vampyres are wearing this kind of thing now. You get it? Yeah. That kind of outfit. Which, from the previews I've seen, is pretty much what Lestat wears in this movie, so it should work well. ^_^V I wonder if Gabrielle's in this movie, or if they cut her out. I'll be pissed if they cut her, Gabrielle rocks. (Mainly 'cause Star braids my hair and says I look like her... Hey, it's enough of a reason for me.)

And I have been cranking out the FFX fics lately. I think I've written something FFX-related every day this week. And I consider my mailing list a success. Still smalll, but counting myself, we've got three writers, the two who aren't me are good, and we all draw, too. So yay. Kiti is happy.

Kiti wants to see Queen of the Damned.

2002-02-20T13:44:00.000-08:00

Okay. FFX fic writers? Take a look at this. Seriously. Best link ever.

2002-02-20T12:08:00.000-08:00

>.< Ever been in a really, really pissy mood for no apparent reason whatsoever, and then when someone stupid comes along and gives you a reason, you just snap? Yeah, that was me today. And for whatever reason, I had Illuminati running through my head at the time. And I haven't listened to that song in forever. So I wound up glaring at this guy and imagining setting Malice Mizer (the incredibly psycho version of them, like in the pv) loose on him and doing all sorts of fun things. With fun happy objects of leather and sharp painfulness. ^_^ Have you ever imagined insane J-pop/rock idols just going psycho on people? It helps. It really does. You should try it. But this guy changed the rules around after I'd just finished doing something, and it screwed everything up, and... >.< Grr. So now I'm completely messed up. Hence the happy fun death imaginings.

On the happy-in-a-non-psychotic-way side of things, people are actually joining my ML! Not many, mind you, and none of them are saying anything except for me, but considering that I only started it four days ago, I don't think that's too bad. And... (this one cheered me up when I got home today) Lee joined! Vireyda! Hoo! *does happy dance* Lee's fics are goooooooooood. Happy joyfullness. ^_^

And I once again have to ask... those of you who are still reading this... why? This is a blog. Listen to me rant. Thank you for listening to me rant. But all the interesting links are over on the side. You people never cease to confuse me. But then, I've randomly read other people's blogs, too. But that's just cause I have no life. ~_^

2002-02-19T11:27:00.000-08:00

I've been getting annoyed at my FFX fics. They're good--for fics. But not up to my usual standards.

Reason? Not enough angst. I rock at angst. Everything else... eh.

So, whoever could I write an angsty FFX fic about? Hmm... let me think...

Hint: the answer's Auron.

So, I'm writing an Auron fic. Correction: I am writing a really freakin' long Auron fic. I've been working on it for two days. That in itself is weird; usually, I have to write a chapter all in one sitting, 'cause the next day I might not be in the mood to write, or at least not to write that particular fic, or at least not well. But it's still going good, and I'm happy. Well, I'm depressed, actually. It's depressing. But it's also really freakin' long, and now I have a headache from staring at the computer screen and typing and listening to the same song over and over again for *checks clock* four hours. Today. Currently at well over 4000 words. And it's not nearly done yet, 'cause it's a songfic--shut up, shut up now, I write really good songfics, I seriously do, look at this one. See?--and I've got a full page of lyrics left to fic around.

The song, in case you were wondering, is Unforgiven II by Metallica. I've got a Sephiroth one to the first Unforgiven, which you would know by now if you'd clicked on that link above, and I'd been planning to write a sequel from Cloud's PoV for this song. I still might. But I was listening to the song on winamp, and the Auron skin showed up (I've got the skin on random), and... I dunno, it just clicked. I want to make a music video to it, too. Slightly different from the fic, 'cause most of the really long scenes in the fic weren't in the game, but I can do things on a video I can't do in a fic, too... yeah. I'd been planning on making a general FFX amv to Suteki da Ne, but that's been done, and done well (I cried over it. Shut up! It had scenes from the ending and it was the day after I beat the game, okay? It was emotional! Geez...). I've still got a few ideas for a general FFX amv, and I defininitely want to make one. But not to Metallica. This song really does fit Auron, though... and Jecht, since part of the amv would be from his PoV. (AMVs have PoV? Yes, they do! I hate it when people say they don't, those are the people who tend to make a gazillion really bad DBZ vids... >.<). This song is really inspiring... oh, and I'm definitely going to use scenes from the game in general, rather than just the FMV scenes. Normally I wouldn't, but the graphics in this game are finally good enough. It's usual graphics are as good as FF7's FMVs. Better, some of the time.

...and, now I'm rambling. Well, big surprise there. I should get back to my fic. Or get off the computer until my headache goes away.

...Fic.

2002-02-17T18:45:00.000-08:00

Why the God of Broccoli?
Random quote of the moment:

"What, might I ask, are you all doing to him?"
"Hm? Oh, sacrificing him to the God of Brocolli."
"......... ...Oh, yes, because, you know, we sacrifice people to the God of Broccoli so often! What the hell?!"

2002-02-16T20:56:00.000-08:00

Kiti's latest Cause:

FFX fandom.

Is it just me, or is this fandom rather... well... pathetic? >.< It's a great game, yet all the fics I've found for it have sucked. Unbearably. And most of the RPGs for it online are inactive. And flaming! And parodies! People can't stand Aurikku fics, or they love Aurikku fics and hate the yaoi fics, and... argh! Can't we all just get along? ;_;

But, most of the fics I've read have been on ff.net. Almost 100% of the time, I find much more high-quality fics on MLs than on ff.net. So I looked for an FFX fic list. Did I find one? Take a wild guess. Go on. Here's a hint: NO.

So I made one. Yep, Kiti is now a proud listowner. Scary, isn't it. I am the high and mighty owner and moderator of the oh-so-creatively-named FFX Fic.

And now, as is traditional with a new listowner, I will begin the ritual Shameless Self-Promotion.

The first rule of FFX Fic is, you do not talk about FFX Fic. The second rule is... wait, wrong fandom. The rule is, anything and everything goes, as long as it's somehow related to FFX. And you can even discuss things that have nothing to do with FFX, as long as it doesn't get out of hand. The only thing that's not allowed is flames.

Sounds great, doesn't it? Come on, I promise it will be a lot of fun! And joining is easy! Just enter your e-mail in this little box thing, and you're in!

2002-02-15T12:48:00.000-08:00

Good news is Keenspace has finally set up my page. http://cage.keenspace.com/

Bad news? They still haven't sent me the "Okay, you're in, this is how to update your page" e-mail. >.< I'll give them a few more days before I start breaking things.

2002-02-13T12:22:00.000-08:00

The Summoner's Room, and Kujan. That's a link. It's here 'cause I keep forgetting to bookmark it while I'm at home, and then I can never find it again, goddamnit, and hey, maybe someone else will want to see it too, so why not. Give the wrong answer and you get to go see Kujan's main page, where there's lots of pretty pictures of Jecht, and Auron, and Braska, and chibi-Tidus. ^_^ Oh, and some shounen-ai-ish-ness, but I found it all completely ignorable, so yay.

2002-02-13T12:06:00.000-08:00

One more thing. I like the NA version of FFX, goddamnit. I like the VAs, I like the changes to the script, I like the way the words almost never match the lip movement, and I like it better than I like the Japanese version. Mainly because that's the one I played, I think. I got into it. A lot. Just watching it isn't the same. And Yuna sounds weak. I usually like the nice, gentle Japanese girls. Look at Belldandy. But Yuna just sounds weak. And Yuna is strong. She is incredibly, amazingly strong, but feminine at the same time, and I love her for it. The Japanese Yuna is just sweet and feminine and... grr. She's nice and all, but she's not my Yuna.

I really don't dislike the Japanese version, but there are a few scenes that I prefer in the NA version. Particularly the ending. Japanese Yuna says 'Thank you.' My Yuna says 'I love you.' *chokes back tears and glomps Yuna* That's what makes the ending even more... poignant? I don't like that word, but I can't find a better one. Yuna loved Ran. Tidus. Whatever you want to call him, she loved him. Not just as a companion, not just as a Guardian. She really loved him. She finally got up the courage to say this out loud, in front of everyone, and he leaves. This is an extremely sad, 'oh my god how could they do that?' moment. To just have her say thank you... she's sad, yes, and saying thank you is like saying goodbye, in a way, and you know she loves him, but saying it out loud makes it more real, more permanent. I like the NA version better. And I like Auron's monotone, and I like Rikku's ultra-blond voice, and I like all of it, damnit. And I wish all you people who happened to play the Japanese version first would just stop dissing it, because this game rules beyond all reason. *glomps her NA FFX*

2002-02-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

...another thing that annoys me about FF.net? Stupid reviewers. I'm not talking about flamers, they're fine. Just the ones that completely miss part of your story. And sometimes that's the writer's fault, but if 50 reviewers get it and 1 doesn't... It just irritates me having stupid reviews. Especially on Paradise Lost. The other ones I don't mind so much. But I really like PL, and I hate having stupid reviews on it.

There's a few reviewers that just misunderstand things--like the current one that set me off, 'i was reading this fanfic, and it occured to me that Sephiroth is the drill instructor of SOLDIER and your all talking about Sephiroth, but your saying that it is AFTER meteor hit... wouldn't Cloud kill Sephiroth if it was AFTER meteor hit, and wouldn't Sephiroth be dead?' or the one complaining--rightly--that Zack was from Gongaga, and liked Aeris, not Tifa. *sigh* For the first one, PL takes place both before and after the game, and all the scenes that take place after the game are marked like this:

(insert pre-game-scene here)

*****
Present
****

(insert post-game-scene here)

...no one else seemed confused... I didn't even have that marking when I sent it out to my mailing list the first time, I just expected people to figure out, and they still did. And I have Zack's family move to Gongaga in one of the chapters that are already up, since I wanted him to already know Cloud, and I've been trying to work Aeris into the fic, but the blasted girl just isn't cooperating. *sigh*

...but those comments just vaguely irritate me. They mostly make me want to clear things up for the reader. With the one complaining about the Zack thing, I e-mailed her to explain, but this one's completely anonymous, so there's really not much I can do. Which frustrates me. Hence the blog-rant.

But the stupid reviews that really irritate me are worse. 'omc id read this but its too long' ...honey, that's okay, you don't have to read a fic that's too long, PL did have over 20 chapters at that point, but why are you reviewing to tell me you didn't read it? Just... think about that for a second... And this one: 'Er, I haven't got the time to read it yet, but I will soon, OK?' ...um, okay? Same issue. Why not just wait to review until after you read it? Just a thought. This one was for Unforgiven, which is the other one of my fics on ff.net that I'm actually proud of. Why don't people just leave reviews like that on my Outlaw Star stuff? I don't even particularly like those ones... *sigh* Strange people.

2002-02-13T11:40:00.000-08:00

Have been looking for FFX fics on ff.net. Am being reminded why I usually read only slash.

First off, Aurikku is proving ridiculously popular. Go figure. This is okay. Incomprehensible, but okay. The Aurikku parodies, on the other hand, are not. Good gods. They're not even well done. And, as I find myself saying more and more often--if you don't like something, don't read it. It's very simple. A fic is labeled 'Aurikku', I don't like Aurikku, therefore I don't read it. Not that dificult, is it?

Then, the humor fics. Next to the Aurikku fics, these seem to make up most of the category. And they're really, really bad. I'm not kidding here, people. Pure random insanity, not of the entertaining kind, but of the 'why the hell am I reading this crap?' kind.

Plus, I've found Tidus/Yuna fics--which I'm considering reading, as soon as I find one that takes place during the game as opposed to after it, I like the way it ended, damnit--that have been labeled 'Yunis'. Dear frelling gods. Yunis? I will never understand the bizarre habit het fans have of combining names, but at least Aurikku sounds okay. Yunis is worse than Quifer. And where the hell did that 'i' come from? I think I'll just stick with my slashy 'x' and '/' thank you very much. These combo names freak me out.

The best fics I've read so far have been short. Plotless. Basically taking a scene that happened during the game and writing it, from the point of view of one of the characters. A vignette. Most of them have been Yuna at the ending, and have been pretty good, although it gets old. I actually wrote one too, from Tidus's point of view. Took me all of fifteen minutes to write, and check out some of the reviews I've got so far. "There wasnt even a plot, and it tops most of the other FFX fics here" ...? I find that statement extremely sad. A compliment, and thanks, but sad.

I think I'm looking for a ALHR for FFX. Which I'm not too likely to get, unless Twig starts writing for FFX.

...

...oh, Twig-sama...?

:P But there's not much point in just complaining about things, is there? Better to actually do something about it, and I am. That Jecht fic is working itself out in my mind. I want it to be as accurate as possible, so I'm looking around for a script--I'm wishing that I'd remembered to save before every mention of Jecht. >.< Damnit. Well, I have a saved game right before the airship shows up, I could go around and save new games just before getting every Jecht sphere... still want a script for the rest of the references, though. Am still not entirely clear on how he got to Spira in the first place, and since that is where the story starts... >.<

2002-02-13T09:04:00.000-08:00

Am taking a day off to recover from yesterday's extreme physical pain. Got a cold, as expected. Damn.

Stumbled across my old transparency marker. You know, for writing on those sheets for overhead projecters? Well, I haven't actually used an overhead projecter in... I don't know, two years? More? But it still worked. So I drew a funky goth guy with it. I like the goth guy. That's the first time I've drawn with anything other than pencil in... wow. Ages. I kinda like it, but I can not shade. At all. I think the style might work for a goth-type strip, though, using just blacks and whites and maybe reds and purples... hey, maybe I can finally put some of those color art supplies I got for x-mas to use. Yay.

Am considering starting drawing a sitcom about a dead guy. o.O It's all set up in my head. Oddness.

2002-02-12T15:44:00.000-08:00

Boredom tastes like Chocolate is one funky happy mindtrip. Well, not so much the happy. For the characters, that is. For the freakishly twisted reader, yes. ~_^ Plus, the name. Love the name. View the title of this blog. Note the similarity. Love the name.
Actually, half the time, when I'm reading, I get a 'wait... what just happened?' kinda reaction. But I think that's adding to that happy mind-twistiness I was talking about. So yay. Gotta love the dead boys.

2002-02-12T15:01:00.000-08:00

Note to self: Use the expression 'sod off' as often as possible.

In case you can't tell, I'm leaving the 'edit your blog' window up while I websurf and deal with stupid people. Random Kiti-thoughts, oh joy.

2002-02-12T14:34:00.000-08:00

Good frickin' gods. Just when you think the human race can't get any more disgusting, the little things pop right back up to remind you. Damnit.

Hey, any guitarists reading this? Or anyone in a band, for that matter? Or do you just like (or hate, hate's better) Limp Bizkit? Great. Read this article right now. That's an order. Geez, first that thing with Creed, and now this? How does Durst manage to keep any fans?

2002-02-12T13:48:00.000-08:00

I am not a cold weather kitty. I have never been a cold weather kitty. Why do I persist in living in places that have cold weather?!
Today is reminding me of this oh-so-painful fact.
Now, when I say 'cold weather', I don't mean, 'gee, it's around 40 out, I think I'll put on a sweater.' Nonononono. I mean it's not snowing today 'cause it's too cold for snow. It is physically painful just to step outside. No exaggeration. Normally, I just walk outside when it's cold and go 'coldcoldcoldcoldcoldmustgetinside.' Today I stepped outside and all brain function immediately shut down in self defense. Now, I don't like the cold in general, but I've stood outside in the snow and thought, 'gee, this is pretty' before, without noticing anything wrong with the temperature. But the temperature was, at that point, somewhere above zero, I believe. Today I literally could not see where I was going because my eyes were watering too hard from the sheer physical pain. It hurt. A lot. And when I finally got back indoors, it took a very, very long time for anything resembling thought to return. Rather like the feeling in my limbs. >.< Am feeling much empathy toward anyone who's ever died of exposure.
Dear gods, the pain. And now I think I'm sick. Again. Damnit, this is a bad year for my immune system. Remind me to move to Florida at the earliest convenience.

2002-02-11T18:27:00.000-08:00

Decided on a plushie.

Kuthra. 'Cause I always want to huggle him. And have already figured out how to make his outfit. So yay. Will send Alice-san a photo if it turns out looking not-crappy. It shouldn't look crappy. I hope it doesn't look crappy.

Xenia's decided to learn to make a plushie too! So if we totally screw things up, we can help each other. Yay. Her plushie is still undecided. Hah! See? It doesn't take me that long to pick anime guys, does it? *nod nod*

2002-02-11T14:27:00.000-08:00

Hatsukoi's Seymour plushie is currently going for around $300 on eBay. And there's still six days left. o.O Am considering learning to make plushies. ~_^ *LOL*

Actually, I seriously am. Apologies for sounding like a girl, I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I think my silent-mature-Auron-side's been temporarily sent to the Farplane. Rikku's taking over. ~_^ I love plushies. They're so kyute! *huggles Chibi* Sephiroth plushies rock. Especially Chibi! ^_^V Buuuut, I keep on looking at characters I want a plushie of *coughcoughYunaRanJechtcoughcough*, but that were never made into plushies. Like Itsuki and Sensui, and Raizen-sama, and and and lotsa peoples. *nod nod* Heh. But ordering a custom plushie seems... hmm, odd. So I want to learn to make plushies. Found a sort-of-non-pattern for the head online, got tons of iron-on transfer paper that'll do for the eyes, and I think I can figure the rest out by peering at the plushies I've got. Heh, that's pretty much the way I do my cosplays... 'Hmm, that looks like that, so I guess I'll cut here and see if something happens...' ...come to think of it, that's the way I fix computers, too. *sweatdrop* Hey, as long as it works...

So, just need to figure out one thing. Who'll be my first victim? ~_~;; I don't want to do anyone from FFX, or Raizen-sama, 'cause my first one will probably be screwy. I can picture a Raizen-sama plushie perfectly, though. Wanna make him wanna make him! ^_^;; I am now mentally two years old? Oh well. Hmm... who to make, who to make... Gundam boys was suggested, but my fave's Heero, and I just know my Heero would look utterly pathetic. Debated doing plushies of my CAGE characters, since I actually drew them as plushies when I was trying to teach myself to draw chibis (still suck at chibis, but plushie pics look good)--but that's kinda pathetic. I mean, even more pathetic than making dolls based off animation characters. *LOL* It's okay, I'm secure in my level of patheticness. Hmmm, who to maaaaaake...

On a side note, I went on a spending spree on eBay last night. Haven't bought anything for myself since before X-mas. What did I get? FFX stuff! (stupid question, ne? ~_^) Ran's necklace, ring (he has a ring? o.o) and bracelet... and a keychain, which I didn't really care about, but it came with, so whatever... and Yuna's necklace, and a FFX calendar ('cause I still don't have a calendar for this year. At all. *sweatdrop*), and--I love love love this one--FFX on DVD! And not just those funky CGI movie clip collections, either. Although those are cool. No, this is FFX on DVD, as if it was one big movie. One big eight hour movie, to be exact. I'm planning on spending a Sunday just sitting around watching it. No, I don't have a life, why do you ask? ^_^ It's okay, I enjoy my obsession. It's really pretty, too, the cover has the picture... you know, that picture, the one of Yuna and Ran in the water.

Yes, I'm still calling Tidus 'Ran'. No, I'm not gonna stop anytime soon. Deal.

...still haven't thought of a plushie to make. Dangit. Must go brainstorm by staring at anime. Who do I like enough to want a plushie of, but don't worship enough that I would hate myself for screwing them up...?

2002-02-10T13:06:00.000-08:00

Still on an FFX kick. Duh.
So, went and looked for some PBEM to join, 'cause I can never get enough of those kind of things. Guess what? They're all dead! It looks like a bunch of different people started FFX games, and no one joined any of them. So, went into hyper-Rikku-style-lurker-poking-Kiti mode. Which means I do my recruiting thing too. Which means...

YOU! HEY, YOU! YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU! GO JOIN ZANARKAND AND SPIRA! RIGHT NOW, YOU HEAR? GO ON! I PROMISE IT'LL BE A LOT OF FUN!

*deep breath* Hoo! Yeah. Anyway, yeah! Go join those games! They looked like the most promising FFX-only, non-yaoi rpgs. Even though neither of them are really started yet. But that's okay, it's not the first time I've revived a dead list!

...I think I have a split personality. Rikku-style-hyper-Kiti and Auron-style-leave-me-alone-while-I-get-the-job done-Katt. Heh. Well, I'm okay with that. ~_^

2002-02-10T11:14:00.000-08:00

BEAT FFX LAST NIGHT!
^_^V
;_;
...talk about mixed emotions... pretty much expected that, but it's still wow!, you know?
JechtjechtjechtjechtauronjechtyunayunaYUNAyunaran(tidus)...*sniff*Jecht!YunaAuronJecht!

...okay, yeah. I'm coherent right now...

Also? Longest endgame sequence ever. Particularly since I count the fights-you-can't-possibly-lose as part of the endgame sequence. Like the Sephiroth fight in FF7. These were like that, just a little longer. The "The End" screen came up at 12:20 am, exactly, and the series of can't-lose fights started a little after eleven. That makes it nearly an hour and a half. O.O I've said it before, I'll say it again: Squaresoft IS love.

Oh! One more thing. I'm finally allowing myself to visit FFX pages, and heard that depending on how you play the game, you can get different girls throwing you the blitz ball in Blitz Ace, or talking to you on that snowmobile ride, or jumping off the airship first. Really? I got Lu for all three. I always figured that was automatic, since I really didn't notice myself playing favorites with her at all. Actually, I thought her jumping off the airship first was really OOC for her... maybe I talked to her first a lot and didn't notice? Hmm. Also heard that it was whichever girl was farthest along the sphere grid for some of that, but no, when I beat the game Lu was the only one who hadn't finished her section of the sphere grid. Or is her sphere grid just larger than the others? o.O I'm thinking too much about this. Oh well. Lu rocks, anyway. Of course, I did do her little side quest with her summoner pretty early, when you're first crossing the Calm Lands. Maybe that did it? *shrugs*

Got an idea for a fic about Jecht and Auron and Braska. NOT YAOI. Can't stand FFX yaoi at all. But it's really weird for me to write gen fics. My original stuff's gen, obviously, so I usually just do yaoi fics... Well, nice change, I guess? If I ever have time to write it. I'm going to have to go back and check all those Jecht Spheres a lot, though, maybe record them onto the computer. Such a hardship. ~_^

As usual, I spent about half an hour just staring at the 'The End' screen. And occasionally crying. Or laughing. The game was just that good. I'm so sentimental when it comes to FF. *heart* Squaresoft is LOVE!

2002-02-07T11:31:00.000-08:00

What is it with women in fanfiction?

Now, with a few notable exceptions--I'm going to once again point to ALHR on this one, you are a goddess, Twig--the women in fanfics get one of two roles: Mary Sue or Crazy Bitch from Hell. The latter being mostly in slash, the other being mostly not, although there's exceptions to both. I've seen others rant on the MS issue more than enough, so I'm going to skip over most of that. Don't like it? Don't read it. It's that easy. I actually don't mind self-insertion, as long as it's done well--and, dear gods, not in anything rated NC-17! Even romantic involvements between MS and main characters squicks me out, although I've got to admit, I am guilty of writing one of those, way back when in middle school. I was twelve years old, for crying out loud, give me a break. Anyone older than that who's still writing that kind of thing needs to get whacked upside the head. If you're going to do a SI, keep yourself a minor character, don't give yourself godlike powers, keep your flaws, and dear gods, do not have every member of the opposite sex fall at your feet. Or if you have to--hey, wish fulfilment, I get that--don't post it on the internet thinking it's gods' gift to fiction.

But that's not what bothers me. I don't read hetsmut, so I generally don't run into too many MSes. It's the Crazy Bitch from Hell phenomenon that really pisses me off.

I write, for the most part, FF slash. FF7 and FF8 slash, actually; yaoi in 9 and X squicks me out. Personal opinion, though, that. Moving on. It irritates me beyond all reason to see people join a FF7 list and introduce themselves with a long squeal along the lines of "I looooove Cloud, he's so cyuuuuuuuuute, and Sephiroth's so seeeeeexxxxxxxxyyyyyy, and Cloud totally belongs with Sephiroth, and..." Okay, agreeing up to this point, although I prefer Sephiroth and could take Cloud or leave him, and please drop the vowel thing; but hey, personal opinion again. Here's where it gets irritating: "And I'm anti-Tifa, anti-Aeris. Hate those bitches! They should just leave poor Cloud alone!"

What the hell?

Okay, have you even played the game? Aeris is the sweetest thing in existence. Along the lines of Raine and Belldandy. She sells flowers, for crying out loud. She is cute and sweet and leave her the hell alone. And Tifa? Come on, people. She has her own job, and she is a kick-butt fighter. This does not make her a Crazy Bitch from Hell, this makes her a STRONG FEMALE ROLE MODEL. As for leaving Cloud alone, I hardly see them flying into a jealous rage at each other, do you? They seemed like pretty close friends to me, close enough that I could quite easily turn them into a yuri couple. When they finally get a date with Cloud, neither of them do anything, instead saying that the other one should've been there instead of them.

And Rinoa. Dear gods, Rinoa. *glomps Rinoa* Leave her alone! Gods, I have seen so many Rinoa-bashing fics; she's insanely jealous, she's a spoiled brat, she's holding the rest of them back, she doesn't care about Squall at all and runs off with the next guy to come along--once again, have you people played the game? Rinoa is a rich girl who leaves home and comfort behind to go start a revolution! Idealistic, sure, but she has been sheltered her whole life. She could have turned out a hell of a lot worse. And I happen to like idealistic girls, they're inspiring. As for holding the team back, when I played the game, she was the strongest fighter I had next to Squall, just barely beating Zell. And her romance with Squall is sweet. I don't know how you can play this game, as Squall, and still end up hating Rinoa. There romance was pretty much the focus of the game, along with Ultimecia's time kompression. I don't know, maybe I just get too much into FF games, but that's just incomprehensible to me. And I slash Squall and Zell. It is possible to like that relationship without despising Rinoa, you know.

I think it's reading ElfQuest that did it. Gave me this weird, guys-can-like-each-other-even-when-the-women-around-them-aren't-complete-bitches perspective, I mean. ElfQuest has the most open ideas on relationships that I've ever seen. And I read it when I was in middle school. Middle school, to me, is the stage where you form most of your notions on life. You're going through puberty, you're moving away from your parents' protection, you're beginning to get just a little taste of what the real world's like. Next to that stage around age 2 where you're learning to talk, this is the most important time that forms your philosophy. Unless you have some great world-shaking epiphany at age 50, of course.

The philosophy is very simple. There is no marriage. If two people love each other, they love each other. If three people love each other, they love each other. If there's a couple that's been together for years, and now someone else is in love with one of them, or both of them? That's fine too. If one is a few centuries older than the other? Great. Love is love, period. The ages, genders, or number of people involved doesn't matter.

And if two people stop loving each other, for whatever reason? Well, then they stop loving each other. They move on.

They do not declare their former lover a Crazy Bitch and spend the rest of their life ranting about it.

And if anyone ever calls Belldandy or Raine a Crazy Bitch, I will hurt them.

2002-02-06T09:22:00.000-08:00

What I said about the sore throat not being a very bad one? Lie.
I've now gotten to the breathing death stage. You know, like morning breath times a hundred, except it doesn't smell, it just feels like... well, death. It feels like I'm breathing death. And why do I get all poetic when I'm sick?
Does anyone else breathe death? It might just be a me thing. Talking--well, writing; can't talk--to Xenia the other day; according to her, when she gets a sore throat, her lungs feel frozen. Not can't-move frozen, just cold frozen. So, I dunno, maybe everyone has different versions of death breath? Like, I breathe this poison cloud of smoke death, and she breathes icedrake death.
Okay. Woah. I'm thinking way too much about this.
I really do go freaky artisty when I'm sick-but-not-sick-enough-to-stop-thinking, though. Yesterday I did this quick sketch of a creepy lady sitting on some kind of... I dunno, something, it's freaky and organic and it's got thorns, and she's tying up the lower half of her face with a black ribbon. It's really bizarre. Much more goth-y than my usual style. And very dark. Literally, dark. I killed my pencil.

2002-02-05T13:14:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed how much people love to talk at you, but don't particularly care whether or not you talk back?
I have a sore throat. Not a very bad one. But bad enough. I also have a drama class. I do not want to have no voice when we finally perform our cuttings. So, I'm not talking. It's amazing how few people have noticed. I nod, shake my head, roll my eyes, do my usual deadpan stare, and occasionally applaud, and this is somehow allowing me to get by in any conversation that comes up. I've actually managed to insult people just by nodding at the right moment. Go me.
Oh, and the latest picture of CAGE? Finally finished the outfit, now just need to fix the wings. His arm somehow wound up bleeding, though. Eep. Why is it bleeding? No idea. Hey, I just draw what comes into my head, people. I don't question it, I just draw it.
Oh, and Gravitation! Today was a Gravitation day. Finally watched the first OAV. Eh. It wasn't bad, but it didn't leave me running up and down the stairs and randomly wailing "Yuuuuukiiiiiii!" Of course, I don't have a voice, so I couldn't randomly wail anything anyway, but... still. Then watched episode 12. *sniff sniff* *wails* Yuuuuuukiiiiiiiii!!! *runs up and down the stairs* Shuuuuuuiiiiichiiiiii! Ryuuuuuuuuiiiiichiiiiii! Seeeeeeguuuuuuuchiiiiiii! Yuuuuuuuukiiiiiii!!! *comes back* Okay. Yeah. Wow. Want watch episode 13 now, but I think my head would explode or something.

2002-02-03T13:40:00.000-08:00

I feel dead. Hate it when that happens.
Don't have a reason to feel dead, either. Except maybe the computer sucking my soul. But I finally updated PL. I suddenly realized, while working on it, that I'd only updated it once during the entire semester. Yeesh.
CAGE is on schedule, though. Ahead of, actually, since KeenSpace still hasn't set up my page. Server problems, though, I know, so I'm not gonna yell at them for it. Well, not yet anyway. I'll just get happily ahead of schedule while I'm waiting. The current page is coming out great, except I can't decide on the design for angel-type's outfit. I don't want to use the one I had him in before, that's boring. And all the ones I'm coming up with are too girly and/or would be more appropriate on Slutty Evil.
...I should give these guys real names, I really should.
Xenia's finished a yyh amv, and O.O Wow. Looks seriously good. My amvs aren't coming so good. Well, lie. The IWTV one with Claudia is going great. I think I'm finally getting used to this new movie editor. But the FY Tamahome's family one isn't doing so good. It looks okay, it's just going reaaaaaalllly sloooooooooowly. Damn. That is the last time I take requests. Actually, I wanted to do an amv along these lines anyway. But it was requested, and so my muses all died. Damnit.
Elfwood Extranet still down. >.< Depressed.
So, working on the IWTV mv, and checking webcomics. The webcomics are boring me today. But that's just 'cause I'm dead today, and just about everything's boring me. Actually, lie. Two webcomics aren't boring me. Fate Martyr Sapheire and Space Opera. Which is weird, 'cause they're about as different as it gets, but *shrugs* Whatever. The links are over on the side. Go read them. Now.

2002-01-31T21:08:00.000-08:00

VICTORY! ^_^V

Heh. It was a long, hard battle, but my computer has finally stopped losing MB! *glomps Beast* It's finally leveled out at... around 300 free MB, which means there's a gigabyte or two still missing, but before it was 100 free MB and plunging. So this is better. ~_^

I've also managed to get the movie thing to work! Kinda. The new one, which I hate, is finally working. Unfortunately, I really can't be anywhere near as precise as I was on the old one (which still won't let me load saved projects). Solution! Make the video on the NEW one, then load THAT into the old one to work on any finer points, no save/exit/load required. Result!

AND, finally manged to get footage from DVDs onto my computer! Don't know why I couldn't figure it out before. It was completely obvious, but I'm dense sometimes... I expected it to be more complicated then it was. ^^;;

AND, Vanyel updated BCD! *glomps Van* Does NOT suck. Liar. You're just fishing for praise, don't deny it. ~_^
...okay, actually she updated the day after I read chapter 7, but... I haven't checked since then, so... it's still yay and happy, okay? Sheesh.

And, no classes tomorrow! ^_^V My school completely rules. It's not private, but it's not exactly public either, so we pretty much get to make our own rules... and the headmaster declared school cancelled tomorrow! Heh. It's pretty much stopped snowing, so that might have been unnecessary, but too late now. ~_^ Plus, this is the first time we've cancelled classes all year, so we deserve it. Hoo!

AND, I've finally finished the next page of CAGE! Yes! Ha! This page loathed me beyond all reason. I thought page five loathed me. I was wrong. That page only threw a bit of a temper tantrum. This page threw bullets. And flamethrowers. And great big heavy rocks. It was painful. Gods only know why. I've been working on this one page pretty much all month. Wound up drawing two of the panels on one page and the next two on another. Worked, somehow. Go figure. Still not entirely happy with the second panel, but hey! I'm not touching it anymore. Is done! And next page gets to be one of those pretty single-picture full-page things that always love me. And I get to draw the pretty wings again. Yay! ^_^V

And, I really really like the ppls on my RPGs. A lot. Love you! All of you! Okay, I did anyway. But you're reminding me of this lately. *glomps*

And now I want to write something! But I'm almost entirely unconscious, so, no. ;P Heh. I'm not even running on adrenaline anymore. I'm not really sure what I'm running on. Brain cells, probably. I get to sleep in tomorrow, though! ^_^V

Random quote of the moment:
YCCK: I'm trying to read.
S: But I'm cute! Love me!
YCCK: >.< ... *glomps*
S: ^_^V

Happy day! Overall feeling: YES! YES! YES YES YES YES YES! AGAIN! Now I'm gonna go to bed and see if I can regain those lost brain cells. Bai bai! Love you all! *glomps* *kisses*

2002-01-28T16:58:00.000-08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT KIND OF CRACK IS SQUARESOFT ON?!

Please, please tell me this is just some kind of sick, sick joke... *shudders* The horror... the horror... I just saw a screenshot of Cloud fighting Hades! Not an evil underworld boss style Hades, but Hades the blue glowing guy from Disney's Hercules. Next to pictures of DUMBO and fucking PIGLET! Okay?! I AM TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE!

Tidus looks anything but male. Something has gone horribly, horribly wrong with Wakka. And Selphie! Dear gods, Selphie, run! Run for your life, girl!

...what, precisely, is Squall's role in here supposed to be? Oh, yes, I can see it now. "...Whatever. ...You know what? I don't need a gunblade anymore. Seifer! Let's make daisy necklaces and sing songs and dance in fields of flowers and just be friends!"

...I haven't seen any screenshots of Zell. Or Sephiroth. Or Zidane. Thank gods. Keep Disney the hell away from my boys. ...my gods, Tidus... *sob* ...They haven't gotten to Auron or Jecht, have they? Dear gods, tell me they haven't gotten to Auron and Jecht!

Disney! Whatever you bribed Squaresoft with, it had better be one heck of a lot!

*wanders off and curls up in the corner*

2002-01-28T14:43:00.000-08:00

Okay, going to go slightly deeper into detail on LoTR now. Slightly. I still think "whoa" kinda sums it all up pretty well.

Legolas surprised me by not being a wimp. Go, Legolas. Seriously, most of the fight scenes, the focus seemed to be on him. Yay. But I can't call him a bad-ass, since he really didn't have enough lines to get an idea of his personality, and being a bad-ass has as much to do with attitude as fighting ability.

Yes, I read the books. I know he had a personality in the books. I'm talking about the movie here, people. There are differences. Few, thankfully. Wonderful job, that.

Only one complaint, and that's the people in the audience. I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS ABOUT THIS MOVIE. Wow. Even FFX was too linear for me, and I worship FFX. This movie was... wow. Holy.

Why do I have complaints about the audience? Well, there were the little old ladies who spent most of the movie whispering to each other, which would have been okay, except for some reason the letter 's' carried completely across the theater. There was the much louder group off to my left, but thanks to my deaf ear they were reduced to a mere background mumble. There was the annoying little kid who kept putting his feet on the back of my seat, and there was--this is the worst--the lady who, when the credits started to roll, said "That was the end?" ...sympathy, I wanted it to go on too, but then she continued "What kind of an ending was that?!" *twitch twitch* Lady, shut the hell up before I turn around and punch you. One of Annoying Lady's friends apparently said something to her, because she then added, "Oh, they're going to do a sequel?" *glare of DOOM* C'mon, people. It's called a trilogy for a reason. And what, the scene with Boromir wasn't enough of a climax for you? Gods. There were also people who complained that it was too long. Seriously, that I just don't understand. I realize, objectively, that it was three hours long, but that's really not a very long time. People just have short attention spans. Really, it was such a rush that I didn't even notice the time. You really get caught up in it.

I'm not going to gush over the movie. There's no need. This movie is holy. This is self-evident. I shouldn't need to explain.

Instead, I'll rant. This is going to be odd. Brace yourselves, people.

Okay. All you people who've been slashing LoTR? Yeah, I know there's a whole lot; I'm talking to all of you. Come here. Closer. No, just a little closer... there. Good. Stay there.

*SLAP!* What the heck is wrong with you people?!

*deep breath* Okay, I'm good.

Now, this is the girl who slashes Superman with Lex Luthor, but seriously, people. LoTR? Okay, shounen-ai is okay, I guess. Maybe. But lemons? Good gods.

When you see this movie, you should be caught up in it. You should be amazed by the beautiful landscapes and the beautiful elves and the incredible fighting and the horrible orcs and the loyalty and the strengthening of friendships and the betrayals and the sheer mind-blowing wonderfullness of it all. You should not look at that last wonderful touching scene between Aragorn and Boromir and be thinking anything needing an NC-17 rating. That is perverting something beautiful. And I am a pervert, don't get me wrong. Damn proud of it. But even I have my standards.

I get it, I really do. I saw all the hints too. I am a slash fan, and the whole friendship between men thing is a pretty big deal in this movie, so obviously there's going to be a slashy taste to it. But you do. Not. Slash. Lord. Of. The. Rings. Period. It is an institution. It is holy. I do not write fics about Jesus and Judas going off and screwing like rabbits, do I? No, I do not. And I'm not even Christian. It's called respect. So leave Aragorn the heck alone.

...Okay, so Superman's an institution too. But the guy runs around in red underwear, for crying out loud.

Bottom line? You can slash whoever the heck you want. To each his (her) own, and it's not like I can stop you anyway. But I maintain that Lord of the Rings should not be slashed. Ever. Period.

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